www.incontinentsupport.org

Very true....guess I would have to muster up the courage. Glad I have internet choices!!

Sandy, were you always so relaxed? You are now comfortable with wearing diapers, rhumba's and bugs - your happy relationship with your husband definately helps. But were you this comfortable when you were younger? It takes a lot of time to get as comfortable as you are, if that can be done. Papa

NO Papa not always It wasn't until recent years that I let my hair down so to speak As I'm sure your aware I've worn some form of protection most of my life. So in someways it's never really been a new thing for me But no up until a few years ago I never would have worn anything but plain white or clear plastic pants and so on. I've never been made to feel ashamed of my condition both my parents have always been very understanding and loving of me. As I think has reflected in my adult life, Also as you have gathered My husband has also been very understanding as well, I've never been made to feel ashamed of myself by either my parents or my husband. So I think in that sense it was much easier to loosen up. and be able to have some fun with different options as far as what I can wear being diapered 24/7 I've always had a soft spot for loony toons. I also have a tweedy and Taz shirt as well as daffy sweat pants

Reading the post from you men I have to wonder could it be that men are to tuff and strong maybe masculin to be able to wear anything that is sorta kinky or cute Also something else I found is my Rumba pants don't seem to stay on long around my husband For whatever reason they seem to be a turn on for him. Do any of you guys see them as a turn on. Hope I'm not getting in to deep here
..........................Sandy

Sandy, You are probably right about men. We want to "be Men" and that can be an road block to "loosening up". Also, girls have carte blanch to dressing. Men stick with the rough rugged look while you girls of all ages can go in any direction. My late wife would one day be prim and propper and the next day go "little girl" or a combo of both. Such as jeans, flannel shirt and pigtails or pony tails. And i know as much as you girls try to "loosen us up" we just fight it. A good example is how long it took my wife to get me into a pink polo shirt. As a ex - make that former-combat Marine i was stuck in "Macho" green etc. Maybe it's why we (are suppose to) die years earlier. I wish I had listened to her fasion advice much more often. I wonder if she would be pushing me out of the "all white" thing, i am sure she would have. I look back and realize that her "letting loose" in fasion was theriputic (sp). If she felt serious she dressed it if she felt "free" or playful she went for it. (Obviously i miss her very very much.) And as far as those Rhumbas go she almost always wore them under her tennis dresses or skirts - and yes, for what ever reason I loved her in them. Maybe I found her "youthful side" and carefree attitue and self assurance even when a friend would tease her about them a huge source of strength. And we guys also know when you girls are comming on to us and you do such a good job at it we are hooked before we realize it. And as far as trying something "fun or kinky" I'll end with the same line I used with the pink polo shirt. "Of course I'm man enough to wear that, I,I,I,I ahh just feel like a green shirt today." Papa

I can't say that rumba pants are a turn-on for me. Diapers are not a turn-on for me, just a necessity. It took me several years to find the right type of protection that I can trust without worry both day and night. Nobody except for my fiance sees me diapered. I asked her once if I should look into purchasing colored plastic pants but she told me that I should stick with white. I have absolutely nothing against those who wear colored and or printed diapers and plastic pants. If it helps one's attitude about having to wear diapers then I'm all for it. I do have a few flannel diapers that have holiday prints (snowflakes, etc...) on them that my fiance made for me. She does a great deal of sewing and used some flannel that she had on hand. The dye of the prints discolored a couple pair of my plastic pants so I don't wear them much. Before the accident I was a plain old Hanes white brief guy. For me briefs or diapers are just underwear which most people will never see so I guess I've never seen the need to go with anything but white.

This thread has gone on much longer than I thought it would which sparked my interest so I recently checked out a couple of the ab/dl web sites. I have to admit that despite how these people have helped create a demand for incontinence supplies which in turn has given the incontinent community more to choose from that I still get angry when I come across one of these sites. Yes there may be incontinent people posting photos, etc... on these sites but for the most part I'm guessing that most of them have some sort of sexual perversion to wearing diapers which I have never been able to grasp. If they would wake up one morning and find that they have no control over their bladder function for the remainder of their lives I'd bet that the turn-on they get from wearing diapers would soon fade away. Maybe I'm missing something???

Well, let me put my two cents worth in here.
I don't blame Sandy's husband getting a little turn on when she's in her Rhumba plastic panties. When I think of Rhumba pants, I envsion a little girl who has a dress on that may bend over to expose her deriere. It's a fancy cover to hide the fact it's underware. Some female tennis players have them sometimes as pointed out earlier.
It portrays an innocence of childhold. If I saw my wife in some rhumba panties, it would turn me on .
I believe colored and especially printed plastic pants brings out childhood innocence too. A lot of people like this, especially women. What I wear over my diaper is my business. My wife may see me, but she's the only one. I see nothing wrong with wearing prints and colors. White all the time can be boring.
I'll get off my soap box and let others comment. .....Paul Martin

My two cents... I feel that DDS as some anger issues when it comes to his incontinence. Having been incon. for a few years now and wearing diapers 24/7 I have accepted its not going to change, Its now a part of my life, my wife says its no big deal for me to be in diapers its just who I Am. For me I enjoy wearing different color and prints on my plastic pants, it adds a little flavor to my everyday life. If it wasn't for the AB/DL crowd I wouldn't have that freedom to be different. People are all different, what they like is there business and what I like is my business. After I accepted the fact that diapers are here to stay I now go on and enjoy life and feel grateful that this is the only issue I have to deal with. There is a lot of living out there and I intend to explore as much as I can.

I like your optimism DJ. I especially like the part where you said there is alot of living to do and you intend to explore as much as you can. I feel the same way. I have other health problems though. More than just incontinence. I have been very ill in the past but I lived through it and I learned alot from it. I try not to stress so much and I try to enjoy as much life as possible. Nowadays, I spend my time with my kids and take the time to watch the birds and look at the beauty of the trees and flowers. I didn't do this before I became ill. But I do now.

As far as the AB/DL's go, I feel that as long as we have good moderators here to keep their lies and other trash off our board the more use real incontinent people will find here. I have learned alot from this board on how to manage my incontinence.

I also like variety in my plastic pants and diapers as well. I buy different diapers to be used in different situations. I do enjoy trying new things. I'm always curious if a different diaper is better than the one I currently use. I have tried many of them. Some good...some not so good. I currently use Abena Xplus and Extra. I'm debating on trying a sample pack of either the secure xplus or the bambino bianco. I'm looking for an all white extended wear diaper. Just something I could wear to the doctors office. I don't necessarily like diapers, I do like what they do for me. I enjoy my active lifestyle. I like spending time with my kids and doing fun things. And I have my diapers to thank for that.

This thread is like the energizer bunny (appropriate for this time of year), it keeps going and going. I've chimed in a few times on this topic and not sure I really have much more to add, but I can understand how people feel negatively or positively toward the amateur diaper crowd (a different way to think about AB/DL). We are the Pros . I think color or patterns make no difference on how one feels about diapers. I've been wearing diapers for a very long time now and it is a love/hate relationship at best. Whether the diapers are blue, purple, white with flowers, duckies or teddy bears is outside appearances. What I've been dealing with is inside issues. How my brain deals with the hand (or bladder or sphincters, or whatever) been dealt is my main concern. I've had days that I absolutely hated my diapers along with any malfunctioning body part that gets involved with diapers and then I've had very easy days where I don't even have to deal with diapers at all. I've been concerned lately that the dry days are becoming fewer and fewer and the wet days are becoming more complicated (more bowel incon issues). So to try to keep perspective, I try to make light of anything bad that happens, no matter how bad and enjoy the easier days. But in order to deal with the tough days, I don't need to feel embarrassment and humiliation with respect to needing to wear diapers. I've been there, done that (and I hate T-shirts). I once didn't want to leave the house for fear of what might happen. Either I was afraid someone would see that I am wearing a diaper (when I am wearing a diaper obviously) or I'd have a public accident and completely embarrass myself and anyone else with me. I've learned how to deal with that over the (lots of) years. I think that having a good attitude about the underwear we need to wear is part of the learning process. Most people don't think about the color of underwear, but if the underwear leaks, that is a big problem. So for me to accept the diaper that I need to wear, is a big step forward. I generally don't hate diapers like I once did, I've said before that I'm a Diaper Liker, I like the fact that the diapers available today are very absorbent and can keep me from becoming embarrassed from diaper failure. I don't think I will ever understand what AB/DL (the amateurs) think, but I really don't care. I can go about my business without feeling that I'm chained to a restroom. I think that anything that can make a bad situation better is very important. Leaking all over the place is a bad situation, staying dry is the goal. I like the fact that diapers keep be dry generally (except for the real bad days, but that is another post). If people find duckies make them feel better about the situation. Great, many strokes for many folks. If purple makes someone happy, that too is great. For me, I don't care about the outside appearances, I'm the only one that will see them. I concentrate on the inside feelings, trying to make them as positive as possible. I think that is the winning attitude, for pros like us.

Dan, I think this thread goes on because people are using it to open-up or rage a little or discus things that they can't talk about anywhere else. We have all been hit with something that has thrown us for a real loop. I would say we all have some common emotions - anger, embarasment, grief, etc. The DL talk is a waste of time because it is a fetish and as you said we live it. Pretending to be blind and being blind are so far apart it can't be measured - so is being incontinent and being a part of a fetish. We all wear diapers but it isn't even close to being the same. Before we were forced into diapers we all had our choice of underwear - all white, colors, prints a mix. Many may have had Christmas prints at Christmas or hearts on Valentines day or pink boxers that said "I LOVE NY" and have to run to a bunker wall to fire at an enemy (as was the case in Afghanistan and caught by a photorgapher.) We talk and talk because we have no one else to listen to us no one else who understands. I am a combat vet - No one who knows me can begin to understand what it was like except another vet. It is much the same with incontinence. We need to be able to ask, to state, to discus our feelings. Some talk about things such as printed plastic pants or diapers i think because they are just trying to break the routine or trying to see if they wear rhumbas or blue or yellow or whatever if people think that makes them an abdl. Under all the talk we all worry about leaks etc. We can "go on with life" but hidden it that statement are all the things we all worry about and have to endure. Keep the talk open and flowing. Papa