www.incontinentsupport.org

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THAT seems to be a reasonable compromise! I approve.

I'll go with that. I guess I'd be a DDA (Disposable Diaper Advocate) since "DL" seems to be a loaded acronym here. I really don't care, I have little in common with the AB/DL community except for the diaper thing, but I am grateful that protection has greatly improved over the last 40 years no matter who gets credit for it.

- I was suddenly thinking this morning that the 'L' in 'abdl' is quite a formidable euphemism.
If abdl people label whatever they feel as "love", I feel very sorry for them!
They better use the 'F' (of fetish) instead: abdf. That would probably be more correct.

Oh yes, and another thing that puzzled me .. I think it was mentioned that "we" never asked for better products maybe because we're ashamed of our condition. In any case, that does make sense. I can't say that I am ashamed but I am definitely rather shy to mention it.

You know what I find so strange about those abdl people? They don't seem to feel any shame at all. At least, judging by what's visible on the web - and that may indeed be the most vocal fraction of them. But if one thing strikes me about the whole thing is that they are so "in your face" about it.
If I would sense a similar unusual desire within me, I think that I would be a great deal more shy about it than I am about my bedwetting.

It comes down to: why aren't there any vocal incontinent people? If people with such an odd fetish as abdl's dare to speak up, why don't people who have a medical condition that isn't their choice?

I do have an idea myself .. just by looking at my own situation. Until a short time ago I never, ever talked about it to anyone apart medical professionals and my closest relatives, and I didn't care to either. It is a very isolated thing. The only thing that changed that was my inner decision to try and find a better solution.

I've spoken up for "my" incon condition on a political blog a week or two ago. Someone started a thread that suggested that one group of people were "wetting their pants" in fear and were a bunch of bedwetters. I pointed out publicly, that I didn't appreciate the metaphor he was using and he apologised and changed the entire tone of his writing. I felt that I was making a case for "us" that actually have these problems for real. I didn't care if someone labeled me as a bedwetter (true) or a pants wetter (also true), but I've never cared for this metaphor and how it gets used frequently to label someone as less than a whole person or someone who cowers in a corner from fear of his own shadow. Now, I'll agree that I hide behind my userid, I don't use my real name, as I suspect many others (including AB/DLs) don't. You can be somewhat fearless on forums than you can going to an in-person medical rally. I can't imagine many of those happening, especially with participants from all over the world. I think most AB/DLs are VERY fearful having others finding out their secret. I see little shame in a medical condition, but I do everything to give me as much anonymity as possible. I remember my first discussion with a Dr. about my problem. I was scared to death (almost literally). My heart must have been going in double time. The Dr didn't care about my incon problem, he was concerned about my blood pressure. Nothing has changed 40 years later, except now I take blood pressure meds. Getting a Dr. to take my incon problems seriously(knowing that I'm diabetic with nerve issues) has been tough. My urologist has finally gotten the msg, but he is still stumped.

Ain't life fun

Dan

From my own rather wide reading online I have come to these conclusions:
1- Someone who is in the business of selling incontinence supplies like diapers, plastic pants etc. online generally isn't doing it because he thinks he's going to make a million bucks or get articles written about him in Forbes or Fortune, but because he perceives a need that he can fulfill and make some money at it.
2- None of these people are going to limit their market to fetishists only or incontinent people only - at least not if they're good businessmen.
3- I'd suspect that incontinent people actually use more of these products than fetishists. The reason I believe this is that incontinent people generally wear 24/365, and while fetishists also may, they don't necessarily have to, and many don't. Therefore incontinent people are a larger market than fetishists.
4- On the subject of variety, incontinent people and fetishists alike vary in their tastes. Some want lots of variety, some are satisfied with basic white, so to speak. As in most all other areas of life, the differences among us are wide.
5- I posted something along these lines a couple of years ago in another thread on this forum, so if this post seems repetitious I apologize.

thats the big deal
ether you have to
or you need to
or you want to
i remember when i had to start wearing aka diaper their was attends an depends an stalk it felt like oil cloth on my butt
they all leaked an it was a pain
now their companies out their with products that work
my ex did not freak out i did i felt humiliated
the first words out of mouth was now i have something to change on you
if i was a woman i would wear lace ones
theirs no big deal
get back to life an live it

_________________
well ibs thats enought

Maria, A fetish is a fetish. If you have no choice, i.e. you are incontinent, and have to wear diapers we are talking two whole different worlds. The fetish side gets "turned-on" either mentaly or sexualy by wearing diapers. If you have read much of their lifestyle you will see they find wearinmg diapers out in public as some huge thrill. We on the other hand we can't leave the house without a diaper on. And we strugle with that in many ways. Wouldn't it be fantastic if all of a sudden we could go from the angst and worry of incontenence to loving it and actuallly getting a good or wonderful kick out of being in diapers? But it just dosen't work that way. What the diaper looks like hardly makes one a DL or AB. I have never tried Bambino diapers but those that have have high praise for their comfort and absorbancy, though most always add "of couirse i only get the white ones." If Bambino suddenly had a super sale on their "Baby Print" diapers - at say .25 for one $25 per 100 - I would guess that eveyone on this board would be sitting here in a diaper that says "BABY" or something similar.
While we all can't cover up our diapers fast enough with clothes which defeats the design or color or print the fetish side needs to expose what they wear. Print or plain, to us it is all the same - it is still a diaper. So never worry about what it looks like, worry more about how it does the job. Papa

I don't think that you understand my point .. maybe I am phrasing it not right.

But it is really simple: I don't worry about how they look. I am a woman and I don't mind if things look "girlish". I even like that. I suppose that's on account of me being a woman.

My problem is that I am very much annoyed to be tossed into one group with these abdl's by some of those internet stores.
Does that make sense?

sure, and there's nothing against that. I wouldn't be surprised though if some of them have made a million bucks though by smart targeting the abdl market niche, because if there's one thing about the products targeted at them it is that they are laughingly overpriced.


Again, sure. That's how economics works. But there is still a great difference between, at one hand, relentlessly maximising your profit while ignoring all moral considerations; and on the other hand conducting your business in a decent and dignified manner.
I know that most don't give a d*mn, but that doesn't invalidate the point.

There is nothing wrong in trying to earn a living by targeting a handicapped group like people with incontinence. But I find it quite another thing if they milk out that group because they don't defend themselves that easy.

And my point was that I don't particularly like it if those entrepreneurs simply start addressing all their customers as if they were abdl's - just because they don't give a d*mn, it saves them the hassle of considering sensitive issues and *we* don't stand up anyhow because we feel that we shouldn't bite the hand that feeds us, or what?



You don't take all factors into account.
First, not all incontinent people use or need protection 24/356. In the case of bedwetting, it can be 8/356 or even less, say 8/120 such as in my case.
Also, there is no mention of the actual number of both groups.
On top of that, I have the idea (though that's also born out of my own experience) that incontinent ppl usually get their things in a local bricks-and-mortar shop, like a pharmacy. The Internet stores that we talk about may very well be created almost uniquely to address a demand that arose in the abdl community. Maybe they just use the word "incontinence" to create an illusion of medical resposibility and respectability. But that's speculation.
But *if* that is the case, incontinent ppl may very well only be a very small minority of their clientele.




True.
Like I said, I dont mind the variety at all. On the contrary, I appreciate it.
I just don't want to be lumped in the same category as abdl's.

Maybe I should give you the example that annoyed me so much.

I want to give disposables a try. That's why I ended up on this forum.
I am quite particular in what I want as far as plastic diaper covers go: I dislike that smooth, shiny vinyl. Not only because it doesn't appeal to me visually, but also because I think it's quite obvious that this smooth material tends to behave like cling-film. I hate that.
There's also a textured variety of PVC that looks and behaves more like regular fabric. But you cannot tell by the low-res pictures that these shops have of their pants.
So I asked. By email. From one store I initially got a friendly answer, though it was from someone who addressed themselves as "mommy". But hey, if they want to, fine. She told me that they indeed had one Gary-type pant that was made of this textured vinyl and thus I ordered one of those. I got my order quite soon and I wrote back to thank her for the prompt processing & sending and mentioned that this was indeed what I'd been looking for.
Her answer to that was very strange and I've been thinking about that ever since. This is what she wrote:



Can you imagine that this made me very upset and angry? What the heck does this balderdash about "her baby" - for crying out loud! - has got to do with a polite thank-you note?
I haven't replied to it, though my fingers are itching to do so.

Maria, You can not adjust people to act correctly. As far as the internet I am delighted we have it. Women are less "sensitive" about going to the local store to buy these things. Even if my wife was still alive and she went in for me I would worry that some neighbor or friend would see it and know I had a problem since I went through cancer surgery and incontenence is a common side affect. I am very relieved since I am a deeply priveate person. I can purchase my products on line. If you ask around I believe most here are also. I have accepted that there is some overlap on some of the sights dlab/incontenence. Ignore the ignorent and embrase the true merchant. As the population grows older, lives longer we will see more and more sights just selling diapers for our needs. I would argue against anyone thinking there are more of the DL crowd out there than true people in need of diapers or other type protection. The market is greatly leaned our way. We don't "speak up" beause we don't need to, the market forces know who the BIG purchasers are. They just don't realize that many of us want some variety or color and therefore just pump out the vannila products they do. Although I saw some depends pull ons in the supermarket that were quite fashionable. So maybe they are getting the point. But please don't let the stray idiot upset you, ignore them. Use them for what you want and go on with enjoying life. Papa