www.incontinentsupport.org

Thank you for your comments Sociologygeek. Luckily I am still in the drips/dribbles and small spurts stage, so for me right now, I don't think a tape-on brief is necessary though I totally get the security and changing benefits that they bring - the only thing that would change that for me at the moment would be if Depend introduced their 6-tape "protection with tabs" brief to the UK. I wore those for a work/leisure trip to the States 2 yrs ago and was impressed with the thin-ness and ability to get them to fit comfortably and no tell-tale pad bulge at the rear. Absorbency wise they'd meet my daytime needs and give me the convenience of easy changes. I see they have a bad reputation amongst tape brief users for poor absorbency but the thin padding would work a treat for me. So for now its guards or pullups for me - I cant justify wearing a tape brief for mild leaks.

What Sociallygeek said. I almost perfectly match his thoughts and experiences. At times wearing a tape on diaper may seem overkill, but other times I was glad I was adequately protected. Prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.

I think there is a point of overkill and other some factors. First, there is your own acceptance of a changed situation. Most are concerned with appearances of this change at first. Then there is cost.

Finally, then there is spousal acceptance (appearances etc. and concern for cost).

While it might be true that tabbed briefs or cloth + PUL provide better protection, it may not be necessary if you are just becoming incontinent. In my case, my wife has accepted this changing situation in my life. But if I were to jump into tabbed briefs or cloth + PUL, she would be mortified (I might be mortified as well). She'll likely question the reason for such a choice given my current level.

From an engineering standpoint, you always want to design+build to the worst case. But here I think there is some room for adjustment over time.

Yes, baby steps, pun not intended. My wife has accepted my issues from the start, but it's been a slow progression as to the type of protections used. She pretty much has said do/wear what you need to. It is what it is.

I am confident that my own wife will reach the same conclusion but right now is probably too soon (too much shock to the system). I'm not worried about the progression either. I just take one week at a time.

New here, but I agree with everyone here about the guards. I figured out quickly that they would not be there for me when I needed them. My bladder and my protection can't both be unpredictable. I then tried the Depend for men pull-ups. It was pretty humiliating, sure. But the anxiety of wondering if that stupid guard thing would catch me if I had a bad day, was gone. (For a while) until I leaked through those a couple times. For the record I found Abena M3 pull can handle the bad times so I still use those during the day when I'm out for a short time. Nighttime has not been an option to not use a tape on for me.

I had a difficult time mentally like others here coming to terms with having to wear diapers, but I think I'm almost past that. I really just try to look at strictly from a utilitarian POV. If I was bleeding I'd wear a band-aid. That's i guess what helps me to "get over it."

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Thank you kindly,
CG

only part my wife hates about going to full taped briefs is like today when I get 3 cases of briefs from northshore and they stuff em into 2 boxes.
and of course come after I have gone to work and she has to move those heavy ass boxes inside.
didnt help that I got 2 100rd linked cans of 50BMG ammo as well. . those are pretty heavy too.
in my cases it was a progression from the depend adjustable underwear in 2008 to a full on taped brief by 2013
probably an oddball who went from just Fecal Incontinence to after 100 UTI's later full on dual.

I think I’m at a stage were I’m fortunate that a guard will do (except at the gym - it has to be a pull-up there). But a read and reread you posts and replies and this morning actually stood at my wardrobe for 5 mins trying to make up my mind whether to go with a guard today or a pull-up. Put on a pull-up, looked at myself in the mirror and decided today is not the day for this. So I’m now back in regular briefs and a guard. It’s strange, as when I first wore pull-ups at the gym I did the same thing in the mirror and decided “this is good, They don’t look THAT bad, these are going to work for me” but today as everyday wear I’m not in that place yet. Not sure if any of this makes any sense, just wanted to capture my thoughts.

I would advise you not to worry about what's in the mirror, but that would be hypocritical of me, as I am constantly checking to see if my it looks like I'm obviously wearing a diaper under my clothes. So I guess really, as long as you are comfortable, and don't have to live in fear of leaks, that would be paramount to any other considerations for deciding what to wear for your day.

Sounds like you're dealing with your IC instead of pretending like it's not a big deal. It's always a big deal, no matter what level you have to deal with. Good on you.

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Thank you kindly,
CG

Yeah I know exactly what you mean about checking for padding bulge. I always think my guard makes me look very well “endowed” particularly in certain underwear - it’s not a look I crave (honestly!) and and to me it didn’t look natural and I wasn’t at all comfortable thinking that people would notice the pad. I worried for ages that my pull-ups would be very obvious at the gym under shorts. They probably are, to an extent as gym shorts are so thin, so I wear compression shorts over the pull-up and under my gym shorts but I’m now firmly of the opinion that no one is looking at or interested in my rear when I work out, everyone is so absorbed in themselves to notice or care.