www.incontinentsupport.org

I have bowel incontinence and have used diapers off and on for about 7 years as a tool to deal with it. I have had some success managing it and was able to avoid using diapers on a regular basis for a long time. But about two years ago I started to have more accidents and began wearing diapers on a regular basis, just in case. Anyway what started as just wearing while I was out in public turned into wearing a diaper most of the time. I realized that having a accident was much easier to deal with when you are wearing a diaper, it’s much easier to change a soiled diaper, than have to change clothes. It’s also easier to carry an extra diaper than a change of clothes and in addition to the fact that it is more sanitary, a soiled diaper is much more discreet than messy clothing. But it is somewhat of a catch 22, the diaper makes it harder to use the bathroom normally both for number 1 and 2. When I feel like I have to use the bathroom time is of the essence and the extra time to get the diaper out of the way can sometimes prove disastrous. Anyway after making several messes, unless I was absolutely sure I would make it I would just go in the diaper, even if that meant practically soiling my diaper on purpose. Eventually, over time I quit trying to make it to the toilet at all, as stressing out over trying to avoid accidents, that had a good chance of happening anyway wasn’t worth it. Which just left me with my bladder to worry about, which while wearing a diaper is a pain to empty normally, you can take it off (but then where do you put it?), sometimes you can pull it down, sometimes it rips and you can’t put it back on, etc. After dealing with that for about 6 months I started wetting my diaper half the time, rather than deal with the hassle. It was weird and kind of uncomfortable at first but I got used to it. Anyway long introduction over, for the last 8 or 9 months I have been wearing diapers most of the time and using them for all my bodily functions. I managed to get a UTI and after having to explain to the doctor why I was wearing diapers (I don’t have a regular doctor so she didn’t know my history) I started to think about the whole thing. I went from wearing diapers “just in case”, to using them instead of the toilet, it was several small choices that at the time felt natural and seemed like the best choice at the time, that added up to something more significant. I don’t mind wearing diapers (most of the time), but I really don’t want to be completely dependant on them. So after I felt that I started to become dependant on diapers and the UTI, I stopped wearing them, had an accident, started again, and went back and forth several times over the last couple of months. My incontinence didn’t get worse while I was wearing diapers and I didn’t lose any bladder control but I know both of those are possible with long term diaper wear so I don’t think this is a choice to be taken lightly. But a choice I feel I must make, I don't like going back and forth. My personal feeling is that I should use diapers, my quality of life while getting a little worse in some areas got better in general when I wasn’t stressing out over accidents. My question is what is other peoples experience or opinions are in this area, I know that what we wear and do in our own pants is ultimately our own business and no one else’s, but I am curious to hear what other people have to say. And whether or not anyone has any experience with becoming “diaper dependant” and losing complete/partial control. Is it permanent? I assume it doesn’t happen overnight and occasionally spending time out of diapers would help maintain potty training and prevent it. Anyway sorry for the long post, but it’s my first and I have a lot of questions and wanted to give as much info about my situation as possible.

Hello sam adams... welcome to the forum! This is a tough question I think all of us with incon issues deal with sooner or later. Having only liquid to deal with is a totally different and easier problem to deal with then having both. I only have the bladder to worry about, and I have been wearing some sort of protection for 15+ years, but do put forth my best efforts to make the bathroom instead of relying on the diaper to just avoid trying. I hear what you are saying about getting there, and having a hard time with tearing tabs, outer shells and such. I found the cloth backed diapers to be best for that problem, can undo and refasten without tearing, makes it much easier for me anyhow. If I am out and about, I will tend to not stress over where the bathroom is located, and go on with my day, but if I see it or know ahead of time where one is, I will make a pit stop before anything happens. I still have not lost total control, and am not by a long shot "diaper dependant"... yet! It can be a struggle for sure, but a worthwile fight to try and win... There is another thread similar you may want to read up in...
http://www.incontinentsupport.org/phpBB ... light=lazy
Keep smiling, and don't just give up on trying at all, but at the same time, don't stress over making it or not, it is just not worth the stress it causes... Puffy

I second what puffy says. I try not to sweat it if I make it or not. I have urge urinary incontinence and partial bowel incontinence. I try to use the toilet when I can. But if I don't make it, its no big deal. I just clean up. I have worn diapers for about 3 years now. Maybe a little less. I have had the urinary incontinence about that long. The bowel incon problems I have only had since last year or so. I just see wearing diapers as getting on with my life. I have too much to see and do to worry about it. Get out and live your life. Don't let the fact that your wearing or using a diaper bother you if it makes your life easier.

In my case being diaper dependent means I can do most of the things I was able to do 15 years ago before the accident. Until someone comes up with a better alternative to diapers that gives me the freedom I enjoy then I will choose to be diaper dependent.

After years of UTIs , Embarrasing accidents. Drugs for this and that. Negative side efects. I'm on other meds anyway for other issues. I'm severly disabled and unable to do much for Myself. Diapers , or briefs whatever you call em. Bed pads etc. Its just a better solution for lots of us. You still have issues. Rashes etc. Finding the right products. And Yes its very embarrasing. I have been completly incontinent and dependent on diapers for quite awhile now. Very few people know besides My doctors, Nurses, Family and a couple very close friends.

Brandie,
I too have been ill over the last few years. I have been hospitalized many times. Due to the nature of my illness, my self care often went out the window. I have needed help from medical professionals in the past as well. I too have found that diapers are the best solution. I have tried many meds and found the side effects to be intolerable and the meds, often times, didn't work. The medical professionals have never said anything to me about the diapers. The just ask about them, I explain why I have to wear them, and then all is good. I find diapers though, to be the best solution for my problem.

Good question,...... but there is a very simple answer when you think about it. As long as you, and your doctor know the cause of your incon what difference does it make how you manage the problem as long as YOUR comfortable with what works best for YOU. When you think about that's the only thing that makes a difference. I'm of the opinion that you should feel good about yourself and how you manage you incon. End of story,......it's that simple.

I too waffled between different types of protection for years and finally decided wearing diapers 24/7 for my urinary and bowel incontinence was the best choice. I also decided against trying to make it to the toilet (which I rarely made in time) and wet and mess them when I needed to. After 10 years of being diaper dependant I am pretty much unaware of when I've wet or messed my diaper now, it just happens. My doctor believes this is permanent and doesn't think retraining is possible.

Sam--

I don't know if this will help, but I don't worry about being more incon or diaper dependent. If I feel the urge I go to the bathroom. For daytime use I wear diapers with refastenable tapes so that I can sit down and poop when I need to and can refasten and fix the fit. I was wearing wellness briefs during the day and found that they were just too difficult to get on and off when using the toilet. So I wear them at night and they work for me.

My incon may get worse of the the years and it may get better. I try not to worry too much about that, taking one day at a time. But I think if you are actively making the choice to go when you can you aren't becoming more dependent.

I was just answering the question of my experience that you can lose complete control of your bladder and bowels to the point of not even realizing it till its happened and sometimes not even then. At night I wet and mess without waking, and that it appears to be permanent.