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 Post subject: Stay diapered or....?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:21 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
I have dealt with some form of incontinence for years. Up until my green light prostate surgery over 10 years ago, my incontinence was pretty sporadic. Even after my prostatectomy/diverticulotomy from 5 years ago it can be quite unpredictable. I wear pin on cloth diapers at night, and tape on disposables during the day. I can go several days being dry day and night, but then several days when I'm not. My question is, have any of you here on this site tried going undiapered, and how did you manage? I would like to not rely on diapers, but a little timid in trying to do so. Diapers have almost become my security blanket. Should I just accept that I am what I am?


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PostPosted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:07 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
For me, managing IC has been about avoiding embarrassment. Sometimes I struggle with IBS and have had some success with managing my diet. Whenever there is a perceived threat of any form of IC when I go out, I use the appropriate level of protection. Around the home, it is less critical since the toilet is nearby (although the stairs can be a problem).

From what you describe, if cost is not a factor or insurance coverage exists, then I might be inclined to just accept your need for diapers. However, if you do get to the point of reliable dryness, then you can rethink it.

IMO, unpredictability is one of the biggest problems with IC.


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 7:50 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
It's all about risk acceptance and risk management.

For myself, I am extremely anxious about having a visible accident in public. As a result, I may be overly cautious.

In addition to having an accident, a very important factor is the consequence of the accident. Are you frequently in public situations, such as a work environment, where a visible accident would cause you public humiliation? Is it worth the risk? If you are alone or not near others it may not matter so much.

There is no right answer to this, but, it sounds as if your "security blanket" has served you well up to now. Is it worth changing (no pun intended). :D

--John
(double incontinent)


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 12:15 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 15, 2011 7:48 pm
Posts: 57
Location: East coast of US
dp66 wrote:
My question is, have any of you here on this site tried going undiapered, and how did you manage?

Hi dp66, I guess I'm curious if you settled on something. I know I'm late replying. I saw your post when you wrote it and I was like -- how do I explain the last ten years of my life without turning into a wall of text.

I did try going undiapered. Not at night, but during the day yes. I spent ten years of my life like that. I've posted here about some of those experiences.

By and large, I wasn't having horrible wet pants incidents in public or anything like that. I'm "right on the edge" where I can kind of manage it, but it's really hard and it takes all the energy I have. And it's embarrassing. You have to do things that don't seem to other people to make sense. Like if you're sitting down at a restaurant and you sit at a booth, you have to make sure to be on the outside. And how do you explain that if someone is curious about why.

So I guess my take is: just because I "can" go undiapered, kinda sorta, doesn't mean I'm automatically the equal of all the other people who don't struggle with this stuff. What they can do easily, is REALLY HARD, for me. It's not equivalent.

Finally going back to diapers this year was one of the better decisions I've made lately.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you can find a good happy spot that works for you. And I hope having a different person's perspective on it helps. i know it may not. But for what it's worth.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 8:46 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2013 8:28 am
Posts: 219
Thanks for you input, bcca. I do appreciate how others manage or try to manage. A couple of times, I went unprotected but met with failure. Once in Walmart. Fortunately, I was wearing a untucked shirt so most of the wetness was concealed. Another time I was at the grocery store wearing only a padded brief similar to a child's training pant and started to have a major leak. Again, I was lucky enough to be wearing dark jeans and an untucked shirt. I still feel that I can make short trips without protection, but usually chicken out. My heart failure is causing my incontinence issues to escalate a bit, so I doubt if I will venture too far without wearing a diaper. Thanks again for your opinion.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 08, 2022 12:51 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
I am unable to go around undiapered per se due to my dual incontinence. However, I do practice timed voiding 4 or 5 times a week.

The purpose is to exercise whatever control you may have left and to practice sensory awareness of your bladder and when it sends early signals that it is time to pee. For timed voiding I am completely bare but sit on a diaper or absorbent pad - just in case.

A welcome benefit of this is that it has shown me my limits. I can get by for about an hour or a bit more in the mornings (when I have better control). However, as I begin to concentrate on work (or just about anything other than my bladder) I suddenly can find that I am begining to pee without realizing it. So, no running around undiapered for me. Of course, being bowel incontinent, I would not risk it anyway.

--John
(double incontinent)


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 3:06 am 
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Joined: Sat Jan 02, 2010 4:49 pm
Posts: 193
Location: Arizona, USA
dp66 wrote:
I have dealt with … My question is, have any of you here on this site tried going undiapered, and how did you manage? I would like to not rely on diapers, but a little timid in trying to do so. Diapers have almost become my security blanket. Should I just accept that I am what I am?


JDinVirginia wrote:
I am unable to go around undiapered per se due to my dual incontinence. However, I do practice timed voiding 4 or 5 times a week. … A welcome benefit of this is that it has shown me my limits. …


Alas dp66, i too have tried going undiapered here and there. But the stress and anxiety of knowing that I was not protected was, in the end, not worth it to me to going without some type of protection. In otherwords, while I probably “can go undiapered” during some parts of the day (not really, but …), I just don’t want to take the “embarrassment” chance of having a visible wet spot accident. Therefore, I prefer the “comfort” of being “daytime diapered” and not having to be stressed out over visible accidents verses going without! And to further JDinVirginia’s statement, I know my limits and work within those limits.

To be upfront, if at home during the daytime, I (mostly) try not to use protection. This is because I have all that I need/want: managing my incon costs, bathrooms nearby, access to diapering supplies and, most importantly, family acceptance of any accidents. But if I am out and about, I prefer the “security & comfort” of knowing I won’t be forcing the world to deal with my issues!

Now, I am not saying you should “accept” what you are (you asked “should I just accept that I am what I am”). But where I am at, I do know that I have two issues to evaluate/balance:: 1) Can I endure a visible/embarrassing wet spot or 2) can I endure being in a diaper that catches the effects of my incontinence? And since the dread of the first option outweighs the second option, I choose to be diapered eventhough I may have some daytime control.

In the end, when you have options (as it seems you do), you can decide what is best for you and your situation. I hope you can find your life’s balance.

Blessings to you, ILuvLA.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 11:10 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
Because I leak small amounts continually, and because I can have a bowel release without warning at any time, I can go without diapers only when I'm dehydrated and I can be sure my colon is empty. But those occasions are few and far between. In many ways, diapers are my security blanket. I can go anywhere, do anything, secure that I won't have an accident.

To change the subject, I had a cardiac exam yesterday, preparatory to cardiac surgery in a few weeks. One of the medical workers assisting the procedure is herself bowel incontinent, and we had a useful conversation while we waited for the cardiologist to arrive. Heavy diapers got me through the procedure, and the staff did not have to change me. How I'll handle my incontinence during the surgery promises to be a challenge.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 11:39 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Hopefully all goes well for you Patrick!


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2022 1:17 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 11, 2022 6:12 pm
Posts: 27
Location: Austin, TX
I have been going with no protection when my bladder is acting normal. But I recently had a very close call while out of the house when I thought I would be fine. I was driving to the coffee shop with my family and about 5 minutes from our destination my OAB hit. I made it to the shop but standing up to run inside lessened my control. If things had been slightly different a low pay coffee shop worker could have been cleaning up my puddle. Fortunately the restroom was immediately available and I only had a small wet spot on my underwear and the inside zipper flap of my jeans.

I've soaked my car seat before and I've had diapers leak a fair amount. But that was the closest I have come to having a publicly visible accident. Because of this I am seriously thinking of staying diapered anytime I am out of the house. If I wear a lower capacity diaper and change it once or twice per 24hrs maybe the cost won't be so bad. But the insurance value would be great!

I will likely still go sans diaper at home when not needed though.


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