www.incontinentsupport.org

I'm sorry about your wife's father-- stage 4 doesn't sound promising but hope for the best. Life does bring on the challenges. Years ago, my wife got called for jury duty at the worst possible time for us (long story). That murder case went on for months. I was commuting to Toronto at the time and I was wishing to get jury duty to avoid some commute but I never got called.

Best of luck on all your challenges.

Thank you Wayne . The family has made a collective decision to honor my wife's fathers wish to come home. With Covid-19 the hospital visitor requirements are so strict he would be alone most of the time , that is just not acceptable especially now . He is 87 and does not want to focus on aggressive treatments that will not provide enough benefit relative to the intervention. He is now at his home with Hospital bed , wheel chairs etc. with nurses , doctor and PSW's scheduled to assist. The lions share of the work falls on us the immediate family but more specifically his wife and my wife who has moved down there until. He is content and currently in no pain.
He is a wonderful kind and gentle soul of a man. He has been the best father in law in the world to me.
Just to demonstrate he was more concerned about me than himself this week. A real saint. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.

Paul

I think that is great that he can be around family and be without pain. I have and will pray for you all.

My Father in Law has been home for a little more than a week . We are doing almost every thing we can for him. We have started using adult tape on briefs from tranquility at night for his safety and my wife's convenience. He does not produce a lot of urine at this stage , so this brief is perfect for him. We had a conversation yesterday and I said that I was very glad he decided to come home and then he responded and said that he was glad too.
I just took my mother in law for her Covid-19 vaccination on Thursday providing more protection for her and my father in law. It was a very well organized process. My wife and myself hope to get our shots this week.
Thank you all for your prayers, my wife and her mother are truly saints for doing this. Truly it is a gift to my father in law and the whole family who now have an opportunity to safely say their farewells before he moves into his new forever home that Jesus has prepared for him in John chapter 14.

God Bless you all
Paul Henry

Hi everyone , I know some of you have been following my story and I truly do know that life throws a lot of difficulties our way from time to time, and I know it is hard for some of us more than others to accept our own particular circumstances ; but we must find a way and some how we do. We find what solutions are going to work for us, whether better products, medications, doctors , science or aids to help us live and carry on our lives not letting a disability define who we are as individuals. I am a newbie here but I for one am extremely proud of the spirit many of you have displayed in not giving up. You continue to seek those solutions that work for you so that you can get on with the important things you have yet to accomplish on this earth . It is truly inspiring to me and I thank you all.
My Father in law passed away last evening surrounded by his wife my wife his son ,we in laws and the adult grand children. He was peacefully lifted in the arms of Christ from his earthly home to his heavenly one .
Each time I loose someone close I am encouraged not to take life and living for granted. My message in this is keep on living , keep on inspiring others, and overcoming, keep finding those solutions that work, and please keep sharing those experiences, so that we can all grow and overcome our difficulties together, finding the best way to live our lives with those disabilities, not being defined by them. Thank you all for sharing your struggles and victories, and thank you for your thoughts and prayers for us at this time.

Paul Henry

Hi Paul,
So glad to hear your attitude on the loss of your father-in-law. May you continue to be blessed by those around you, and may you continue to bless others. You will remain in my prayers.

_________________
- Tom

Thank you Tom life is precious, each loss is a reminder of that reality. I am trying to live the best life I can , overcoming each difficulty as they arise to the best of my limited ability. I told a dear friend one beautiful morning at work as I was watching the sun come up, " I always like to take a moment and enjoy the beauty of a sunrise because you know, you only get to see so many of those in a life time" . I believe today they call that " mindfulness " appreciating the beauty of a moment or experience to it's fullest , it really does calm the soul.

Thanks again Tom

Paul Henry

Add my condolences. Mindfulness can be truly spiritual, in the face of your challenges, it can be life affirming. Glad to have you here, sharing your life with us.

Thank you Patrick for your condolences and I am very glad I registered so that I can lend my voice and experience to perhaps help and encourage others as so many of you have unknowingly and tremendously helped me. I cannot tell you how therapeutic it has been for me to finally open up and accept incontinence as well as a number other new life altering limitations as my new realities. I am also recognizing the immense value of therapy, counselling and psychotherapy. Life is hard and some times I have learned it is okay to reach out and ask for help.

Paul Henry

I thought I would tie off this thread by sharing a few thoughts about the last week.
Preparing for a funeral has a lot of components and a lot of must do things when you are really least prepared mentally, physically or emotionally to deal with them. One of those components as it relates to this forum is how to prepare to spend a very long day while incontinent. My protection is the LAST thing I wanted to be worried about especially when I had to stand in front of people in the chapel and hundreds of people watching on live stream and speak. I controlled the pain with Tylenol 650 mg through the day , the anxiety with the Duloxetine 60mg, and the urinary incontinence with the Incontrol Elite Hybrid Briefs with 12 hr. protection (Rearz). I boosted the capacity with three microfiber squares . Every thing was held in place with a light control brief (from Walmart) and covered with Gary Euroflex plastic pant. My day started at 8:00 am and it wasn't until 7:00 pm that I could change out of my dress pants and suit. I was impressed with the capacity and my wife said the diaper was not noticeable , ( maybe she was being kind ) but I did not feel that self conscious, and it all worked out no leaks.
My father in law was laid to rest in our cemetery just up the road beside our son. The day was sad because we lost a precious gentle soul of a man, but also a celebration because it was an end of suffering and a promotion to Glory.
Grief is a process and now the family will begin that process each of us in our own way and collectively. Thank you all for your comments thoughts and prayers they were so appreciated.

Paul Henry