www.incontinentsupport.org

After my coming out rant about a week ago, I took your collective advice and started wearing something every day to prevent the dreaded public accident from happening again.

Since the only thing I had on hand when I started were the heavy absorbency diapers I use on long drives, I used them. Then something interesting happened. Around day 4, after indulging my bladder's every whim, the dull poking pain and constant feeling of having to pee I've experienced on and off for the past 2 years, and almost constantly for the past several months, started subsiding. Without holding much in the bladder, the sharp, painful urges disappeared. I feel almost normal again. Except for the peeing even more frequently now, which because of the diaper has been irrelevant (except for one minor leak).

Has any one else experienced anything similar when you stopped trying to hold it? It leaves me very conflicted.


I now have a supply of pullups I'm planning on using to prevent the accidents, but that means going back to holding it. I hope the spasms remain at bay.

I gave up trying to hold it long time ago. I'm not worried about making it the bathroom any more so all the anxiety is gone. Whatever happens happens, and I just change when its convenient. I didn't notice any difference in the state of my bladder, but it makes sense that your bladder is now more relaxed as well.

I agree that, for some of us, diapers simply make more sense, make life easier, and contribute mightily to our well-being. Kudos.

I've never really stopped trying to hold it for longer than a couple of days. I can really relate to the constant dull pressure (not so much pain) and never feeling like I'm completely empty, so to speak. The symptoms did subside somewhat during my experiment with it, but it just doesn't sit right with me.

However, it is good that you were able to find some relief from your issues and that you started working towards a solution. Just keep in mind that your comfort and dignity are what comes first. Perhaps its good information to relay to your doctor to help find a root cause for your issue, because a sharp, painful urge sounds very awful and is a sign for concern.

I do want to add that pull-ups usually don't work very well except for the mildest form of incontinence. Unless you have previous experience with them and you know they work for you, I would advise against them. A lot of users on the board, myself included, have found they often are not adequate for our needs if we have larger surges or worse, accidents. It may be helpful to take extra precautionary measures until you know they work for you to avoid an embarrassing situation.

Accidents for me are actually very rare. Maybe once every couple of weeks. And when I do leak, it's typically not more than a few ounces, which I think a pullup can easily handle.

As I mentioned before, trying to use a toilet with a diaper on has not really worked out that well for me. So, my idea was to wear a pullup "Just In Case", and continue to use the toilet as usual.

But the relief from the constant dull, achy, pokey feeling I get in my bladder and groin has given me second thoughts.

My fear is that giving in can mean losing that control and ultimately becoming completely dependent.

I wish I could advise you on this. I have the same fear as you that stops me from doing that, and perhaps maybe other members can say more, but from what I've read others have had similar fears and similar issues arise afterwards. I've also found that many of the members have found themselves better off despite it, like johnstone. There is not a lot of information on the topic, at least from what I've been able to gather. Your comfort and your relief is the most important thing, I would say, and if that solution gives you the comfort and relief to feel normal and in less pain, that may be the best solution for you.

Have I? I'm quite certain I've had it much worse, and for a lot longer. My painful urges got to the point where I had to not only embrace diapers, but to also actively seek out four (soon five) consecutive sphincterotomy surgeries to actively remove my sphincter muscles so my bladder can drain freely (and not accumulate any urine which will trigger my urges).

Yes I am very dependent on diapers now and have absolutely no choice in needing them. I am also living almost without that constant pain in my bladder too, so it is well worth it to me. There is no conflicting feelings for me in this. I am living a happier and easier life, why be conflicted on that.

Oh, and trust me on this. Going back to holding it is absolutely going to also bring back your pain. My serious recommendation; skip the pullups. Go with a good premium diaper and improve your quality of life.