Open Invitation

[LtsofQues]

Thanks Paul and Gimwet. Today I had to stop at the store and two other errands. It's very cold and after the first errand I was hopeless to make it through the store and one other stop so its times like these when you have to rely on a diaper, otherwise I would have been stuck in the house or had to make several different trips. Still, most times if I can't make it I feel kind of like I failed, even though sometimes there's nothing you can do to prevent this situation. I guess it takes some getting used to and realizing that protection is a means of being externally in control if you can't help what's going on internally.

[Paul Martin]

Gimwet and LstsofQues,
Gimwet, you're absolutly right about meds and the surgery you attempted. Meds have never helped me, and I also had the trial interstim done on myself. The interstim helps some people but not all. I guess you and I are in the same boat.

LtsofQues, You're right about what you said concerning doing things you want to do rather than letting incontinence rule how you run your life.
Please, though, don't feel ashamed or a failure if you wear a diaper. If you have a diaper on and you make it to the restroom in time, great!. But if you try and you end up wetting your diaper, sowhat? I don't even try to stay drt any more. As I get that uncontrollable feeling I'm about to let loose, I just let it go. Mostly, though, I never get the feeling. I usually have small wettings all day long. Anyways, LstofQues, you're doing great! ..........Paul Martin

[LtsofQues]

I thing the reason for this is for one, the stigma and shame. Another could be because as a child you are punished for an accident or sometimes if a child is a bedwetter the are punished for a problem they can't help. I can remember having an accident in school because the teacher wouldn't allow me to use the bathroom and then having to sit in a chair next to the teacher on display in front of the class. Another year the same thing happened and I wasn't punished but had to wear those same clothes all day. Now that I think about it, my baldder may have always been week because this happened at least once a year until fourth grade. I recall kids who had the same problem occasionally being teased sometimes from one year to the next. I think these methods stick with us and cause the shame and stigma. If I had children I would not scold them for wetting the bed or during the day and after this I would probably send them to school with a change of clothes in a backpack just in case. This really makes those memories come alive and they may be related.