The In-Laws

[Bobsan48]

So my wifes parents are coming to visit us, and will be staying in our apartment from the 23rd through the 27th of next month. They dont know about me having to wear diapers, but Im sure they might find out on this trip. I dont know how they will react or how they will think of me afterwards, which has me on edge. Should I confront them and tell them about it or dont say anything and just hope they dont find out. I have yet to talk to my wife about this, which I should but its hard for me because its a little bit embarassing for me. I know its ways away but I thought I might ask everyone early so can come up with some kind of game plan, so please if anyone has some kind of advice it will help alot, thanks.

[RobertH]

Hi Bob

Anxiety about telling family members or friends can be Stressfull at first but the more you have to talk about your incontinence issues it does get easier, talk to your wife and let her know how you are feeling and see what she thinks the best plan is. Living in close quarters for a week especially in a one floor apartment its going to be next to impossible to hide the fact you need diapers.

maybe have your wife talk to her mom and fill her in on your medical issue, and them her mom can tell her dad getting your incontinece issues out in the open with close family members makes dealing with it easier since you do not have to hide the fact you have a medical issue and require diapers.

Remember you are not alone in needing diapers and there are millions of us that are back in diapers as an adult due to a medical issue. Its better to be upfront and deal with it head on unfortunately diapers are now a part of your life and eventually they will probably find out either way.

[realworldic]

The Anxiety is completely normal, starting the conversation is always the hardest part, our fear of how people "might" react is really one of the hardest things we all face! however, almost always the people we tell are supportive and empathetic so much so most people come away from the conversation realizing that talking about it was way easier than they thought! however, I don't think you have to tell anyone if you don't want to unless you will be sleeping in the same bedroom and have no place to change privately you should be able to step away for a few minutes to change. use a diaper cover that will cover any sounds (if you use plastic backed Briefs) that will help cover many leaks as well. If you have bowel incontinence this becomes more difficult but you could try the old chlorophyll tablets (Nullo) to help odor (if you can handle green poo). but remember you are not alone many have dealt with and are dealing with the exact same issues! and really is 99.9999% of the time talking to family about the issue is a good thing and almost always MUCH easier than anticipated! good luck we are here for you!

[JDinVirginia]

Bob, first, consult with your wife. Then, I then I would vote for eliminating the source of anxiety by informing your in-law (note: not "confronting"). You will defuse a situation that could be confusing for all parties concerned. I informed my family members and have never regretted it.

--John

[batman381327]

completely understand your anxiety. on the flip side her dad or mom could be experiencing the same anxiety as you. I agree with Robert and JD about talking to your wife about your anxiety and see if she can brain storm with you on ideas of how to handle this.

[Porkchop]

Agreed with everyone above that said consult your wife before you do anything.

[Bobsan48]

Thank you, to everyone who shared. I talked to my wife and we both agreed to just take it like we would any other day. Wont say anything to them about it but if they happen to find out they find out.

[realworldic]

Thank you, to everyone who shared. I talked to my wife and we both agreed to just take it like we would any other day. Wont say anything to them about it but if they happen to find out they find out.

Solid plan. Good luck let us know how it went!

[fanoftherichISC]

Thank you, to everyone who shared. I talked to my wife and we both agreed to just take it like we would any other day. Wont say anything to them about it but if they happen to find out they find out.

.
Solid plan. my brother and nephew visited all this week. none the wiser. super discreet works for me.

[mattwp]

bobsan48 how did this visit go hopeing you come back with good news