Dermatology appointment

[Don]

I go to the dermatologist every six months for routine skin exams. During these exams, I have to completely disrobe and put on a white gown that opens in the back. I always leave my diaper on until the doctor asks me to remove it towards the end of the exam. I leave it on because one time I pee'd on the exam room floor. Well the clinic I go to has doctors who are in their residency. They are learning. I had one such doctor meet me in my exam room and start looking at my skin. He asked me to take the gown off and of course I was standing there all exposed wearing nothing but a diaper. He didn't ask me why I was wearing it. He just made a sarcastic comment of "how's that diaper working out for ya?". I didn't know what to say. I was taken aback and just said ok...I guess. I explained to him the I am incontinent due to nerve damage. I didn't appreciate being judged. How would you have handled it? I told my family practice doc at my next appointment. She is one of the faculty and said she would handle it.

[jeffswet]

I would have asked this guy if, being a doctor, he might be able to answer his own question. In short, I'd have turned the tables and waited for an answer. If he thinks he's so funny, maybe he should share with rest of us why (and how) he thought that might be an appropriate thing to say. And I would wait for that answer as well.

[HotDogg55]

When I've been in similar situations I always bring a
pull-up with me and at the very last situation change into that for various exams, and then as soon as I can, change back into a fresh diaper. Though this was only at times that the doctor would have to be seeing my nether regions, so the pull-up was good to just pull it down. But it depends (no pun) on the situation.

[Don]

I have pull-ups but they are not good for fecal soiling. I am bowel incontinent too and have little control with very little warning. So I just wear diapers. I keep it on as long as possible until asked to take it off. Then as soon as the exam is over, I put it back on.

[MikeJames]

I've not had the problem yet but I'd be pissed if a doctor made a sarcastic remark like that. I'd file a formal complaint with the medical board. That's absolutely unacceptable. As if we aren't self conscious enough about our incontinence and need for diapers.

I've had doctors try to convince me to keep trying more meds/combos of meds and other more aggressive treatments but my primary doc understood when I told him I'm sick of taking pills that make me feel awful and don't even cure the issue and I'm tired of having tubes shoved up my dick hole and never getting any new info out of it, just discomfort and humiliation. Wearing a diaper, for me, is just more comfortable and a better way to manage it. My urologist, on the other hand is always trying to recommend giving up the diapers and trying this x, y or z instead. He seems to not understand that I can't just piss myself in front of all my coworkers while trying whatever it is you want me to try.

I get that doctors aren't fans of adult diapers. They're not a cure and doctors want to cure you. But they don't understand what it's like to piss your pants in the middle of a crowded mall in front of EVERYONE. I think mandatory training for urologists should be to have to wear an open ended catheter for a week and not be allowed to take it out. Get a snense of what it's like to uncontrollably leak urine all the time. I bet every one of them would opt to wear a diaper that week!

I think they think we're lazy or something. Like if we just did our Kegels harder or something...if we just were more diligent in our bladder retraining and behavioral mods...if we just plowed through and took their high doses of horrible side effect inducing meds. It all really comes down to they just don't get what it's actually like to live with this and how diapers give us a life again. The vast majority of us certainly don't want to be in diapers but they make our lives manageable.

[roadracer]

If it is a dr or nurse that would not know I am wearing a brief, and they need to examine that region, I usually start by explaning things before I remove my cloths. I usually keep it short, simply say that I have a neurogenic bladder and bowel, and am wearing a brief.
They usually reasure me that it is no problem, that they see it all the time.
It is likely he was caught off gaurd and made a comment without thinking about it. He may not have even meant to be sarcastic. If he did not explain himeself any further, then it is hard to tell.

[Don]

I've been to gastro, neuro, and urology doctors. None of them questioned my need for diapers. I've seen many over the years. I see my family practice doc every three months. She is that "other docs" supervisor. He is a resident doing rotations. He is the only one to comment on my diapers. Even the urology doc didn't say anything. He gave his recommendations, I tried a few. I took ditropan for several years. It worked for a while then quit. I've tried many medication therapies. Some worked but the side effects were intolerable. He recommended surgery. I'm not willing to do that because it's not guaranteed. So I'm 34 and have been wearing diapers since I was 25. Like I said, I've seen dozens of doctors from specialists, to surgeons, to behavioral health and emergency medicine. He is the first one to make a comment like that. I guess I'm lucky. My family practice doc has no objection to me wearing a diaper. She knows I have exhausted all options. There is no cure my my incontinence (neurogenic). It is what it is.

[roadracer]

I've had doctors try to convince me to keep trying more meds/combos of meds and other more aggressive treatments but my primary doc understood when I told him I'm sick of taking pills that make me feel awful and don't even cure the issue and I'm tired of having tubes shoved up my dick hole and never getting any new info out of it, just discomfort and humiliation. Wearing a diaper, for me, is just more comfortable and a better way to manage it. My urologist, on the other hand is always trying to recommend giving up the diapers and trying this x, y or z instead. He seems to not understand that I can't just piss myself in front of all my coworkers while trying whatever it is you want me to try.

I get that doctors aren't fans of adult diapers. They're not a cure and doctors want to cure you. But they don't understand what it's like to piss your pants in the middle of a crowded mall in front of EVERYONE. I think mandatory training for urologists should be to have to wear an open ended catheter for a week and not be allowed to take it out. Get a snense of what it's like to uncontrollably leak urine all the time. I bet every one of them would opt to wear a diaper that week!

I think they think we're lazy or something. Like if we just did our Kegels harder or something...if we just were more diligent in our bladder retraining and behavioral mods...if we just plowed through and took their high doses of horrible side effect inducing meds. It all really comes down to they just don't get what it's actually like to live with this and how diapers give us a life again. The vast majority of us certainly don't want to be in diapers but they make our lives manageable.

I think what you are describing is inexperienced doctors. Urologist at small practices do not see as many complex cases, so generally have considerably less experience in treating them. I travel over a hour to go to a large medical center, and because they see substantially more patients with more complex issues, the response and treatment are considerebly better. The urology dept even has people on staff that have urinary conditions themself.

I guess my point is, if a doctor is treating you poorly, in my opinion that is a sign of inexperience.

[Don]

I agree. The medical centers I go to see a lot of patients. The doc I encountered was fresh out of med school. So yes, I think inexperience was a contributing factor. He should not make assumptions. My family practice doc said he should have gotten to know me and then asked. Don't just see an adult in a diaper and make unqualified judgments. Talk to the patient.

[ThatFLguy]

Been there a lot.
The first few years were crazy because doctors and everyone else I went couldn't rap their heads around an almost sixteen year old having inconinence issues after all the stuff I had been though at that time in my life. The also could not understand why I would use diapers. My parents got talked into having me tested for just about everything. And I was on more meds than I can remember. One time that sticks out was when I went in for IVP test.. I was told to fast before the test and at the time was having day time accidents as well and the tech that was doing the test could not inject the dye because i was shivering from it being cold.. I was laying on the table with just a gown and pull up on. She left to go get heating blankets. It was 6am I fell asleep and wet through my pull up. She woke me up with five other people and they had to get me cleaned up before they could go any further with the test. These people were not medical staff as our local hospital has a cleaning crew. They were asking her why they had to clean up the room and when she told I had an accident and they needed the room cleaned for my test. I was in the bathroom when they started working. They started making comments about what happened. I was so embarrassed but the tech shut them up quickly when she told them I was in the bathroom.. It sucks when people are stupid. I just remember that It is not yours or my fault that people don't have any common sense..