New to this'

[AWHamilton]

Hello. First post here. I am a male in my 50's and have never had what I would call a strong bladder. I have for the most part been able to manage with only a few problems. I have limited fluid intake, used the toilet before venturing out. I have even worn pads as a backup in certain situations. Lately problems have gotten worse. Last week I was on a road trip. I took the usual precautions: wore a pad, used the toilet before leaving. Into the trip I got stuck in traffic. Shortly the situation got desperate. I arrived home. I had dribbled a little and the pad absorbed that. I got into the house and made it to the bathroom, where my bladder suddenly emptied. I flooded the pad and my pants.

My wife has never been supportive of my weak bladder. I was able to clean up and hide the evidence. Suggestions? Thanks. Feel free to contact me.

[B Brian]

I'd suggest you be open and honest with your wife. She may not be fully supportive of your problem, but she needs to understand it isn't your fault either, and that you really do need moral support from her. I do remember my vows including something along the lines of for better or worse. Well, what happened to your wife making that promise too?

I would also recommend you follow up with your doctor on this as well. Even with your pre-existing complication, this sudden worsening could be a sign something else is going on now too. It may be nothing more than a mental trigger, stress, or an honest one time accident. It could also be your prostrate too. Best to know for sure, than to leave it up to guessing.

[AWHamilton]

Thanks for the response. See doctor regularly including prostate exam and PSA test. Not sure what could have triggered the accident. Thought I was going to make it. Only minor dribbling that was contained by the pad. Got in the bathroom and bladder just completely. Usually I can stop the flow when I dribble.

[Wetters]

Hi AW and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that you're having bladder challenges. I can't tell what "Lately" means in this context, but since your urgency is becoming more severe in frequency and/or volume and/or lack of control, I think it's wise to have a medical workup to determine whether or not diabetes or something else is causing your symptoms to be worse then they historically have been. Once you know what is or isn't going on, you can formulate a plan of action for either a cure or management of your condition.

I'm sorry that your wife isn't on board with your issues. If your urgency/accidents get to a point where they cause you to have confrontations, perhaps a medical consultation to bring her into the loop medically and invite her input may give her a better understanding of your condition and help her to develop more tolerance toward it.

Wetters

[matthewmeto]

Hello, and welcome. I am relatively new here and new to incontinence as well. Hopefully you can get your wife on board. Having a partner that I can rely on and who is supportive of me has been essential to me not feeling so ashamed of my issues. Perhaps having her realize its not your fault will help matters greatly. A lot of the posts and articles here are extremely helpful to a newbie navigating this world.

[batman381327]

Welcome to the group AW. Hopefully, your wife will be more understanding the more you find out about what is causing it.

[mlhjr]

AW,
Welcome to the group, hopefully she will understand better after your medical visits.

[Porkchop]

Welcome and good luck, just know that you're not alone......

[RobertH]

Welcome to the group

[PB&J32]

Welcome aboard. I'm sorry to hear of your issues. We're all battling something it seems. My wife was not fond of my diapers at first. She still has a hard time with them, but is accepting of it nowadays. It seems to be getting better with time. You stated that you're wearing pads. If you're going to continue to have issues, you're going to need to beef up your protection. Perhaps a pull up or even the extra security of a tape on style diaper like most of us have come to rely on for our everyday protection. Having the proper level of protection is a big confidence booster!! At some point you definitely need to sit down with the wife and make it clear that you need her support and that you guys need to be on the same team. Good Luck and keep us informed!! We're here to listen and offer support.