Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:14 pm
I have seen a bunch of posts about accepting the condition we have and accepting the need and use of diapers to manage the condition. I have gotten there. I accept the diapers and have no problem wearing and using them when I need them. The problem I have is dealing with it when accidents happen.
I'm at the point that I have some loss of control and sometimes wet when I don't want to. When that happens, I can feel something happening. Now that can happen at any time from being at home, at work or out with friends. My problem is not reacting to that feeling when something happens. I know what is going on, I know I'm protected, I know no one else knows what is going on. But, I still get this start or shock feeling and my initial reaction is often surprise or panic. And, if I am around people, I don't want that reaction showing and prompting curious glances or questions from those around me.
So that's where I am right now.
I'm at the point that I have some loss of control and sometimes wet when I don't want to. When that happens, I can feel something happening. Now that can happen at any time from being at home, at work or out with friends. My problem is not reacting to that feeling when something happens. I know what is going on, I know I'm protected, I know no one else knows what is going on. But, I still get this start or shock feeling and my initial reaction is often surprise or panic. And, if I am around people, I don't want that reaction showing and prompting curious glances or questions from those around me.
So that's where I am right now.
Re: Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Wed Dec 18, 2013 2:34 pm
Hang in there. We all had to jump that hurdle too and you are not alone. Unfortunately the only thing that will help you get there is time. Time and more accidents. The more accidents you have and then see that your protection will do its job will help yo relax and be able to move on. Now, with that being said, also remember, leaks will happen from time to time. Your job is to figure out what level of protection you will need for the task at hand.
You are doing what you need to be doing and you are on the road to living your life. My hats off to you.
Rope
You are doing what you need to be doing and you are on the road to living your life. My hats off to you.
Rope
Re: Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Wed Dec 18, 2013 8:52 pm
Yes, it certainly i snot easy to accept, that is for sure. Having on the right level of protection, and trusting it takes away the stress of a public event that could be embarrassing, no it WILL be unless you have on what you need to. Everyone goes through the trial and error stages to find what works best for them, after that it is the get on with life attitude and leave the stress behind, but it is still not easy. Hang in there, it will get better! 
Puffy
Puffy
Re: Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Sat Dec 21, 2013 7:30 am
Yep, it just takes time to get used to wetting yourself without that fear expression on your face and body. It will go away but it can take years. To a large extent the time will depend on whether you accept just going in your diaper all the time or if you are still trying to save a diaper or two a day by going in the toilet. If you still keep trying it can take years to never since you are still telling your body and brain that it is bad to wet yourself. For those who do give up, it seems it takes less than a year for it to become second nature to just go and you don't even feel the diaper until it is very wet after multiple wettings. How long have you been wearing and are you still trying to use the toilet?
Re: Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Sat Dec 21, 2013 12:07 pm
I certainly know what you mean about needing to become comfortable about using your diaper. I have urge incontinence, which means I feel a urge need to urinate. The urge to go starts suddenly, increases in intensity to the point that it becomes painful, and eventually (after anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes) causes uncontrollable leakage that empties my bladder. So I need to wear a diaper 24/7; and unless I'm really close to a bathroom, I have to use the diaper.
As my incontinence developed to the point of having to wear a daytime diaper, the worst part of it was the feeling of not being in control of my body. Unless I could get to a bathroom quickly, I simply couldn't help wetting myself; and that was scary. Eventually, I realized that, unless I was close to a bathroom, I might as well not go through the painful struggle and just use the diaper. Perhaps paradoxically, once I began wetting my diaper voluntarily, the scary feeling of helplessness vanished. I was back in control.
As my incontinence developed to the point of having to wear a daytime diaper, the worst part of it was the feeling of not being in control of my body. Unless I could get to a bathroom quickly, I simply couldn't help wetting myself; and that was scary. Eventually, I realized that, unless I was close to a bathroom, I might as well not go through the painful struggle and just use the diaper. Perhaps paradoxically, once I began wetting my diaper voluntarily, the scary feeling of helplessness vanished. I was back in control.
Re: Accepting and dealing with it are two different things
Fri Dec 27, 2013 5:36 pm
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That is probably my biggest struggle right now. The feeling of not being in control of my body. I have found diapers that work for overnight and during the daytime. It is still just getting past that feeling.
[quote="jgrover"]If you still keep trying it can take years to never since you are still telling your body and brain that it is bad to wet yourself. For those who do give up, it seems it takes less than a year for it to become second nature to just go and you don't even feel the diaper until it is very wet after multiple wettings. How long have you been wearing and are you still trying to use the toilet?[/quote
I am still using the bathroom when I can and I can often tell when I have to and can make it on time. So, I have not given up yet and probably will not anytime soon.
Inconinmiss wrote:the worst part of it was the feeling of not being in control of my body
That is probably my biggest struggle right now. The feeling of not being in control of my body. I have found diapers that work for overnight and during the daytime. It is still just getting past that feeling.
[quote="jgrover"]If you still keep trying it can take years to never since you are still telling your body and brain that it is bad to wet yourself. For those who do give up, it seems it takes less than a year for it to become second nature to just go and you don't even feel the diaper until it is very wet after multiple wettings. How long have you been wearing and are you still trying to use the toilet?[/quote
I am still using the bathroom when I can and I can often tell when I have to and can make it on time. So, I have not given up yet and probably will not anytime soon.