www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi everybody,
Thanks again for all of your support. It's been a tremendous help to have understanding people around to try to sort thru this whole mess.

I let the rest of my family in on my nasty little secret this past weekend. Again they greeted my incontinence with an unbelievably indifferent attitude. Sort of like "Gee that's too bad, anything else new?" That was fine, or better yet, that was the very best reply that they could have possibly given me. I have ZERO desire for sympathy. My only reason for informing them was to avoid an embarrassing situation for them and myself. Also, I lived for years with this secret. The embarrassment and repulsiveness that I feel made me believe that everyone else felt that way. I can't begin to tell you the relief I've experienced by finding out that they still love and accept me. The total lack of pity was also a blessing.

I'm just so tired of fighting and hiding all of this. My loved one's acceptance has allowed me to move on in my life in a huge way. I no longer have to worry if my over ample bottom is offensive to them. As far as the general public, They'll just have to deal with it. I'm no longer going to concern myself with people that might find the bulk of my pants a bit too full for their liking. I'm in my sixties now. I really don't need to worry myself with what a bunch of kids think about how I look.

That said, I hope to be able to confront my doctor with my problems in a somewhat more mature attitude. I wish to confront my issues and try to bring this to a concrete conclusion. If it means a battery of devastatingly humiliating and possibly painful tests, so be it. Thanks to you folks I have a clearer idea as to what options are available. I have had the time to sort thru these options and will be able to chose the route that I (not them) wish to choose. If it means a confrontation with these "providers", so be it. ......bring it on buddy....

Once again, thanks to all of you for your support, Ted

Kudos for surmounting one huge hurdle. Maybe our society is becoming more open and accepting of so many things that earlier generations hid behind the doors of locked closets, which is a good. You are an example for the rest of us.

Well done. I can say for certain that my life got easier when I stopped hiding my incontinence from everyone I am close to.

Happy Holidays!

CJ

Bravo!

--John

Good for you, Ted!! It's nice to clear the air on that and get stuff off your chest!!

Glad to hear it is going well with you. I think Patrick is right, many things that used to be hush hush are now more out in the open and we quickly find out we are not alone.

That a way to hit it head on and get it done.

Glad it went well for you!!

_________________
When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius

Hi, To all those here that have spoke up and let the people close to them in on their secret. How did they take it? I expected less than loving understanding to say the least. What I found when I talked to them was an odd sympathetic shocked look and a "oh yeah, that can happen I hear" sort of reply. It shocked me to not get some kind of disapproval from them. That's what I REALLY expected. I wonder if that attitude in me was some throwback from childhood. I suppose that it was really a somewhat immature response for me to expect. Embarrassment has always been a powerful emotion for me and hard to control.


Anyways, what I'm wondering now that everyone important to me knows, is how have relationships gone from here? I guess concerning my "problem". No one has said a thing since I informed them and there hasn't been a single question asked. I guess I find that really odd. I'm wondering if it was a bad idea to say anything at all and that I made them uncomfortable.
No doubt I'm overanalyzing all of this. Is this subject the old "way too much information kind of thing"? So, it would be nice to hear from some ol' pros when it comes to relationships and how they progress after you let them in on your secret.

I think it would be nice to be able to bring up the subject and gain some insight from those that are close to me, but I suspect it's just too uncomfortable for most people to discuss. So there's this sort of "we won't go there" feeling that I think I'm getting from them.
I can't make up my mind if that's real or I'm reading WAY too much into the incontinence thing. And I don't want to make this into something worse than what it is by trying to open up to them about it.
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. Ted

Ted,
All the family members that know and friends, they just look out for me. For my family it was me uncomfortable not them. After I finally came out and said I cant control my bladder at all, they ask question all the time for them and people that are experiencing issues with incontinence. Remember you didn't want this, it is what you deal with. I make a lot of jokes about it now. For instance, we went on a long family trip, six adults. They ask if we could stop at a rest stop to use the restroom, I told them I'm fine for least two more hours, my wife said listen, were not were diapers smart ass. Everybody was laughing so hard I had to stop for me too. I no longer care who knows, if they cant deal with it they don't need to be around me. I finally love my life again and no one is taking it away again.