www.incontinentsupport.org

I am at a point in my struggle with bed wetting that I do not care who knows about my problem any more. I use to dread buying supplies, now IDGARA ( I Don't give a rats ass ). So who else is at this stage in their battle?

_________________
Life is like a camera
Focus of what is important
Capture the good times
Develop from the negatives
Take another shot!

Me! I have the right protection and the bed stays dry. That's all that's important. It is what it is.

Wetters

I have times when i say to myself that i do not care anymore. The truth is, that I do care. It is important that my protection (diapers) work, but it is not ALL that matters. When you find what works and it does work you gain confidence, but that is a confidence on the edge of being shattered. I, like Rope, have gotten to the point that if a product or accessory is going to make thing easier or more relaxing or whatever, I go for it. For me the swings of emotion change and each day/week/month is subject to change. Yes, it is what it is, what else can you do? Papa

I agree with you all I have now found the protection that works for me. Full diaper at night and mini diaper during the day. I tended to fear being found out however the more I wear diapers the greater confidence I have don't get me wrong I stil have wobbles though. I can now do a lot more and enjoy life without the worry of finding a loo.

I guess, mostly because I walk like a drunk occasionally, I do care, a lot. I pay close attention to the way folks respond to me; I'm ready to give an explanation to anyone who looks askance at me. I care about the way folks respond to me because, when I eat a normal meal, every bite comes back on me, so I dare not grimmace, or I'll have to answer potentially embarrassing questions. Incontinence? As long as I'm confident that my protection is adequate to the task at hand, that I know where the handicapped restrooms are located and my diaper bag is loaded and at the ready, no problem. I do not give it a second thought.

I find myself being cautious in public and even around people that already know about my problems. I guess that's the nature of incontinence and wearing diapers. I guess all of us here are careful about what we wear or how we move. Always wondering what people can see, hear, and notice.....I know I am. But in the back of our heads we know nobody REALLY cares. I am at the point where if people find out I'm not really going to freak out about it, but I'm not going out of my way to notify the world that I wear diapers either.

Like many here, I found products that work for me so I don't worry about leakage, diaper bulk, or odor. The use of those products allowed me to build confidence over time and now I don't worry about going places, or doing things away from home. Whatever happens, happens, and I don't worry about since I wear the right combination of products. I think acceptance, and confidence set the stage that each of us follows. Since I'm 100% disabled, I'm not usually away from home for long periods of time and that has an impact on how I manage my incon. I NEVER let my incon manage me, and since I HATE to change in public, I can almost always wait until I get home to change so the possible embarrassment, or hassle of changing while away from home is never any concern, or worry because of the quality products that I use. I don't like to do it, but I can use extended wear, or long lasting protection diapers that last up to 10 hrs, and with no leakage, or odor, I have no fear of detection, or embarrassment. That's the level of confidence I have with the products I use. Even when I do travel, usually two, or three times per year with each trip lasting 7, or more days, I heavily rely on the trust I have built on the products I use. I try to plan each day with a change every 4 - 6 hrs if possible. If this does not work well in that day's plan then I usually forge forward relying on the extended wear products that I have come to trust that give me the level of protection desired. For those long days, I usually have a backpack near by just in case waiting to change is no longer an option. Having a backup plan for emergencies (waiting to change is no longer an option) is always important even if I leave home for just a few hours. Everyone needs to find the products that work best for them, and manage their incon in a manner they feel most comfortable with. What works for me may not work for someone else. I guess "THE" most important thing to remember no matter what you do, or how you do it is NEVER let your incon manage your life. Do whatever works best for you, and don't worry about anything else.

Hope this helps.

Like Papa, I do still care, although I am less anxious about it than previously.

I am much like Johnstone in that I have tested and upgraded my protection to such a point that my high confidence in its ability to do its job has relieved me of much emotional stress regarding having a public accident. Of course, as I am bowel incontinent, and it is almost impossible to completely conceal a bowel accident, that stress never completely goes away.

On the down side, to achieve this level of assurance often means that I am wearing one or more levels of protection higher than I logically can justify and paying a price for it. I economize when at home and alone, but never when I am out of the home.

--John

JDinVirginia,

I understand your thoughts since I am also bladder, and bowel incon. Using the right products makes the difference in the level of confidence. I am so confident in the products that I use I really don't have any worries any more and this of course means not having any stress. I really like the Abena M4's, and recently I started using the new Northshore brief (diaper), and now I like that even more than the M4. The cause of my incon is nerve damage at L5/S1 resulting in Cauda Equina (spinal nerve damage). Since I am mobile I'm medically classified as an "Incomplete Paraplegic". Being incon is secondary to all my medical issues, but at least I'm mobile. When I leave home for extended periods of time, or travel I wear plastic pants over the diaper for added protection just in case I were to have a leak sometimes cause by a broken diaper tape but that is very rare. I don't like to take the risk when out in public so better safe than embarrassed I say. I achieved odor control by taking Devrom. There are many other brands that will accomplish the same, but for price and effectiveness my preference is Devrom. Over the years, I've experience all kinds of situations that could have been very embarrassing include a BM while in flight and those seated around me NEVER noticed a thing because there was NO odor. That type of situation can obviously become devastating, or a real confidence builder in the products you use. I'm glad to say it was the ladder of the two that I experienced. Without question, I would have been mortified beyond embarrassment had there been a noticeable odor. That truly was a confidence building experience,....I know it was for me anyway. I don't fly often, but for those times when I know I will be around large groups of people I sometimes carry a very small bottle of air neutralizer in my pocket as an added precaution. Just one, or two small sprays can do all lot since the brand that I use is concentrated,....a little dab will do it, and since the bottle is so small its easy to forget its in your pocket. I don't worry about being incon when in public any more,...whatever happens, happens and there is nothing that I need to worry about. Been there and done it so I really don't care. Don't worry, be happy.

I'm still adjusting to my bowel incontinence. I would never want someone to notice my diaper, but having a bowel accident in public without it is many times worse. Trust me, I know. Before I accepted my need for diapers, I experienced this. I agree you must be confident in the protection you use. Not much sense wearing a diaper if it won't protect you.