www.incontinentsupport.org

For some time, I've been asking myself the question in the title of this section.
Or am I really incontinent at all. Or just tend to have accidents.
Those accidents have caused me enough anxiety to resort to wearing adult diapers in public.
I've had at least two embarrassing and noticeable accidents in the recent past.
There either wasn't a restroom available or I just didn't make it on time.
I admit, Now I feel more confident, as long as I'm wearing "protection".
I've been able to feel discreet in the Med/Regular size of Tena stretch briefs.
They seem to be thin yet, able to handle a lot.
Because once I loose control, it's not a trickle, but more like the damn dam busted.
They seem to be barely noticeable under my clothing.
Besides, I'd rather one person notice my padded rear,
Than a dozen or so notice (or smell) urine soak pants.
I do go to the restroom when I'm able to find one.
So it's not like I just use them because I have them on.
And I haven't had much if any accident for months now.
Except for a few long car rides home where I just let it happen...
Am I the only one "guilty" of doing that sort of thing?
But going out without wearing a diaper is something I fear.
And as long as I have a choice, I do not really want to try it.

If youre having genuine accidents, then in my opinion you certainly fit the definition of being incontinent.

I think that it's really important to get over feeling guilt about wearing and using diapers. It's really not a moral issue! If you are reasonably likely to have an accident, wearing a diaper protects you from the possibility of seriously embarrassing yourself and protects those around you from the strain of witnessing something perplexing.

Your description of your situation sounds as if you're dealing with urge incontinence, something I've lived with for many years. I have to urinate much more frequently than most people; and if I don't get to the bathroom in time, my bladder will empty itself when it "decides" to do so. If I'm not wearing a diaper, I produce puddles on the floor, carpet or sidewalk and have very obviously wet pants. My way of dealing with the situation is to wear a diaper 24/7/365. When wearing a diaper, I can go anywhere and do almost anything anyone else would do. Without a diaper, I have to be sure that I can make it to a bathroom in less than a minute and, even then, am likely tomhave an accident. So wearing a diaper is my key to leading a normal life.

I hope this description of my way of dealing with a situation resembling yours is helpful.

To me if you even think you are incontinent and cannot hold your urine I would seek help and get an appointment with an urologist.
Having accidents even once in a while can be a sign of something serious going on.
Incontinence is not a disease but is caused by an underline problem.
Putting a diaper on and ignoring it is not going to help you, you need to find the cause.

I agree with 2lyle,......you really need to see a urologist and find out what is causing your incon problem. Sometimes, (not always), incon can be treated with meds and will resolve the problem. I am double (bladder & bowel) incon due to nerve damage in my spine and suffer from the same symptoms you've described which is "urge" incontinence. I understand what you saying about being discreet and using protection. Depending on the underline cause, your present condition may be come more severe over time. If meds don't help solve your problem using diapers for protection is NOT the end of the word and as you already know.

In my opinion, there is no right, or wrong answer about being, or becoming diaper dependent if you are incon. If you have a small urine loss that cannot be corrected with meds, and does NOT involve nerve damage then your situation is much different than those of us that have a neurogenic bladder, and/or bowel with complete voids due to nerve damage. The needs are different and so are the type of products used. While a pad, or light absorbency pull-up may work fine for a small voids this type of protection is not adequate for anyone that has a full discharge. Senation, mobility, and mental ability are also factors that have to be considered and evaluated by a professional. Even if you have the desire to use the bathroom and you don't have the physical ability to make in time then the use of diapers, commode chair, or other collection devices are a must.

Not everyone has the same type incontinence issues and needs.. Anyone that has urge incontinence is diaper dependant to some degree depending on the type of incontinence. Everyone has to do what they think it best for their situation. I can only speak for myself,......I found managing my incontinence to be easier to just use the diaper all the time. For me, it was relief not to be worried about making it to the bathroom in time since I have little senation anyway.

Hope this helps.

Your situation sounds like mine many years ago. Urge incontinence pretty much forces guys to wear diapers since nothing less will hold the flood but diapers make it pretty hard to go to the bathroom normally and quickly so it is usually a lot simpler to just go in it and change later. You also avoid the nasty pain of the urge. The only issue in doing that on a regular basis is it will pretty much make you completely urinary incontinent and dependent on diapers quickly. These days unless I am consciously thinking about it I only notice I peed after the diaper gets saturated. And even if I am thinking about it I got only a minute of holding time before the pain is too excruciating so I am completely dependent on diapers to maintain social continence. That might sound bad but you really need to think about what your incontinence outcome is going to be anyway down the road. For most people with urge incontinence unless you find some drug or continuously practice some urge suppression toilet training program your incontinence is going to get worse as you get older and it just becomes a matter of time on when you will be dependent on diapers. For what it is worth I tried until I reached the point of needing 2 diapers a day. At that point just biting the bullet and using 4-5 diapers a day to never have to worry about getting to the potty on time made my life so much better.

Sounds a lot like myself as well. Urge issues are a pain to deal with at the best of times, the options are either drink much less then you require, or wear something to get on with life. I juggle fluids with the best of them, it makes going out a bit more predictable, but when I am parked for the day, be it at home, or near a bathroom, I drink much more then I normally would. Diapering makes things easier to get accomplished without cutting out the coffee of juice, I wear when i need to, and don't hesitate to use it if need be, most times it is like that, but beats a public event, or multiple trips to the bathroom... it is almost to the point of "What, AGAIN! " Not the best of all solutions, but for this problem, it works for some, not for others. I just enjoy having a life again where I can get out and not be ultra-tense as to the "when" factor, I know it is a non-issue for a few hours. Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

It really is a silly question to ask oneself. If you can not avoid wetting your self under all normal conditions then you are incontinent. Some leak non-stop, some wet in their sleep, some can't hold it and others have many different "leaking" situations. It is called incontinence. If you have no choice about wearing diapers to avoid even an occasional social accident then using them under any situation is a moot point. Papa

I thought maybe i was diaper dependent because i had a few accidents in one day and started wearing a diaper and so i thought maybe just maybe if i wasn't wearing a diaper i'd make it to the toilet, well i left a wet spot on my couch and did a number 2 and it came out my leg holes of the underwear and got on the inside of the pants. so no i'm probably not diaper dependent, but damnit i'm not ready to accept incontinence either. I'm 25 I'm too young to be having accidents like this.

I was age 9 when my problems got real bad. They discovers I had nerve damage in my lower spine. It was then, that I was put in Pampers 24/7 and I tried to fight it and kept wanting underwear. My mom finally got rid of the undies saying I was diaper dependent and was expected to use them. I got used to them and stopped trying and actually felt much better. The pain was gone with what little control I had, but it was so worth it in the long run. At what point, is it worth the struggle to prove that you may still have some control. It is a loosing battle and diapers will roll over the top of you eventually.

I don't know if there is a right answer to this question. I have nerve damage in my spine (Incomplete paraplegic), and I still have some control but not much. Most the time when I feel the urge I don't have much time before I lose control (Neuro bladder, & bowel). I don't worry about trying to make it to the bathroom since I rerely make it anyway. I found it easier to change the diaper and move on with life but all this depends on the level of incon a person experiencies and the type of protection used. When your already incon and diaper dependent who cares?