www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi all,
I'm new on this forum. I'm reading it already for a few months and for me it's the best on the web. I recognise many stories and it shows me I'm not making it up. I do have a light form of incontinence and that's just what I'm struggling with. It's going all right for most of the day and I think " you see, nothing is wrong, you are fooling yourself". Well, than it can change into an urge and it just hurts to keep it up. Some days are just a disaster I would call it, other days are a breeze. Nights are the same. I can be dry for four days, I build up some confidence, and then it goes wrong. I wake up while it happens (or not), or I have to go to the toilet 5 times a night. It all results into the fact that that I wear pads in my underwear, at daytime, which gives me a lot of confidence to move on. I just don't dare to wear nothing as protection, it just goes too often wrong without a warning. During the night I wear protection as well, my wife supports me tremendously.

This problem started a year ago. I had many cases upfront that I was 'just in time' to the toilet at night and it was a matter of time before it went wrong. As I'm traveling quiet often for work I had to act fast finding a solution. I found it an attack on my mental balance. I thought about it continuously. Now time has moved on I found a balance, take my precautions and move on. My wife tells me that this is very manageable and that we are lucky that this is all we have to deal with. I feel blessed. I have visited the doctor and urologist a few times but this has not led to a solution yet. I try to find a better balance between work and free time as I discovered it gets for sure worse while being under stress.

I do apologise for my English as this is not my mother language.

Bob

Bob,

A lot of us have been where you are and do understand. Pads, pullups, or diapers not only help us control our incontinence, but they also provide us with very valuable emotional support. Otherwise we would be afraid to go about our lives. You seem to be doing quite well in coping with your incontinence!

--John

Hello Bob and welcome to our " Incon family".
I just want to say thank-you for thinking that we are the best on the web.
Everyone here has some form of incontinence or at least know someone that is.
We have a great group of people on this forum that I know can help you with any questions that you may have.
So don't feel alone, we all have had wet pants in our lives hehe.

Schoppy

Welcome aboard bobcooper, you are not alone in this by a long shot! I also want to affirm with you that NO, it is not all in your head! Sounds like you have been dealing with it rather effectively, and yes, life goes on, with or without pads, just one way is far better then the other, which is just staying at home scared to go out (been there too). Kudos to your wife for supporting you, that is what a good marriage is all about, better or worse, and I have seen too many times when the worse part rears it's ugly head, some "spouses" go running in the other direction! Hang in there, and feel free to contribute in whatever topics you feel you can! Puffy

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Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Thank you for your support. It sounds that I have all under control but it goes with ups and downs. The mental insecurity hits me sometimes pretty hard.
This morning all seemed to be fine (day off), I try to keep reasonable times between the toilet visits and then I just can't keep control of it. Bit by bit it flows in my pad and I think "no, no, keep it up". At the end I lose the battle and that results into clean underwear with protection. Again à battle lost. I know it should have been the easiest to go immediately to the toilet, but I want to try to force myself in a " normal " rythm. At work I don't take any risks and visit the toilet every hour. Better safe than sorry. Even then it goes sometimes wrong when I can't leave the spot ( telephone, meetings). I'm so glad I found the right (invisible) protection. It helps my confidence a lot.
When traveling I have to carry more material these days, i'm still not used to that.

Bob

Bob,

What do you use for protection? Me, i have tried every incontience product known to man, and then some... pads, guards, belted shields, pullups, and briefs.. and as many on the board know.. i struggled with the idea of wearing a full-blown brief.. but in my expereince, for men, it's the only real adequate protection, regardless of the level or type of incontinence, because for us the point of where urine leaves the body can vary from one minute to the next depending on whether "it" is up or down.. and pullps leave gaps at the legs.. guards buch up and lose their adhesiveness.. undergarment straps get twisted and chafe.. briefs are the only thing I wear nowdays and im comfortable with it. And yes, even with a taped brief on you can still use the toilet.. its a matter of eitehr finding a brief that has velcro tabs.. or one that is easy to pull up and down without untaping the tabs. The problem with pullups is most do not have adequate padding coverage..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Bob, I can understand how you are feeling. Sounds like your incontinence comes and goes, good days (dry) and bad days (wet). That happened to me. Some days, I'd have no problems and begin to not think about it and then I'd have an accident. This went on for years. The stress was awful. Finally, I just decided to be protected all the time. Some days, I can tell I need to go but some days I am totally surprised. You need to find your balance and be able to keep your dignity as best as you can. That was why I finally went 24/7 because I got tired of the surprises. Good luck. Stay connected here. It helps

Hi Bob

I agree that Premium taped diapers my be the solution for you, they give you the security that they will handle most wettings and you will be able to Carr on with what you were doing when the wetting happened.
Once you find the correct size and fit you will find that premium taped diapers are the only real option for most bladder control issues for guys. Unfortunatly it is expensive to wear 24/7 but the secure feeling you get they you probably won't leak whe you have a wetting is worth the expense.

Robs right you with most taped diapers once you in your in and if you go to the toilet you will have to change from your current tapped diaper even if it's dry.

I did that at first changed every time but now I just let the diaper do its job for my wettings and only change when really required. For Me diapers are a Bette choice then taking Meds to control my OAB due to the possiable side effects.

Try some premium taped diapers for a few weeks like dry 24/7's and see how it goes you will probably find you will be more at peace whe wettings happen.

Bob,

Welcome to the group. You are not alone in this battle. I had similar symptoms when I had to start wearing some form of protection. Thanks to this group I just look at is as the same as having to wear a knee brace or some other form of device to get me through the day. This group has definitely help me adjust to this.

Hi Bob,
Welcome to our corner of the interwebs. You will quickly adjust to packing for travel. I travel 2-3 weeks a month and it is second nature for me.

My tips:

• Pack more diapers than you need.
• Never let the airline check your bags unless you have 2 days of diapers in your carry-on bag.
• Go through TSA dry whenever possible.
• Don't sweat the TSA inspection- they have seen it all.

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- Tom