Re the bowel incontinence, acceptance was very, very difficult for me. After that emotional hurdle, acceptance re the diapers was difficult but much easier as they were part of the solution to prevent my public humiliation (you can tell that I still am very anxious about that). Very different from the others in the group is that my preventive enemas became my primary defense against bowel accidents and then the diapers became my backup defense.
Regarding acceptance of the enemas, I think you have to reach an emotional point where your anxiety and frustration about the bowel incontinence have reached such a level that you are willing to accept the (relatively) minor discomfort and unpleasantness of the enema in exchange for avoiding public bowel accidents. A European medical study of the use of the use of traditional enemas (not Fleets) as a preventive for fecal incontinence used the phrase "motivated patients tolerated the procedure well." That pretty much sums it up.
I have had to accept that for the rest of my life I it is very likely that I will be wearing diapers 24/7 and using enemas to prevent accidents. That is a real downer! However, on the positive side I have the satisfaction of having been proactive in researching my problem and finding a solution that provides more reliable protection than what the colorectal surgeons were promising. Also on the positive side is having the satisfaction of doing it well (or as well as can be expected). Except for one friend whom I told, as we share rides, none of my friends suspect that I am bowel incontinent, wear diapers, or take enemas.
Re Nullo, I experimented with, and evaluated, the various bowel deodorants. Nullo worked the best. I used it when on an extended European vacation and cruise when I would be in close proximity to other people even to take transportation back to the hotel or the cruise ship. In the larger of the recommended doses it worked well for me. On the negative side, Nullo can be very constipating. This can exacerbate preexisting tendencies toward constipation. I stopped taking Nullo when I had to take strong opiate pain pills as the combined effects were far too constipating. However, it is a good product.
Slightly off topic, our best weapon is still a good sense of humor. Of necessity, we must do some really weird things that the general population never thinks of, like digital stimulation. If, ten years ago you had told me that I would be wearing diapers, performing digital stimulation to prompt defecation, or taking enemas to prevent fecal incontinence my jaw would have dropped in disbelief. Frankly, if I saw someone else going through the physical contortions I go through for a thorough enema I would have laughed. By the way, what is the best music to take an enema by? I nominate Handel's Waterworks or Respeghi's Fountains of Rome
--John