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Do any of you use a bib for eating

no, just a knife and fork!

I use a disposable bib and and underpad on my laps

I do not use a bib, yet. However, I have so much trouble with my food coming back on me, I may soon need to wear one. To me, wearing a bib is far more threatening than wearing a diaper, because it is so visible, whereas a diaper is hidden under clothing.

Try using a underpad on your laps

I eat lying down so use a towel or napkin. I will possibly need to get something once I am back in my chair. It will need to be super discreet though. Probably oone of those ones that looks like a scarf.

I use the disposable bib. I don't have a working washing machine. But it does not cover my laps so I use disposable underpads( saves mattress when diaper leaks) on my laps to protect my laps. Even though really embarrassing it works