www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi Everyone,

My name is Tim and I'm new to this forum. I have urge incontinence due to a defect of the urethral sphincter. My problem wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. In the beginning it was just at night. My parents didn't have a very accepting attitude, and I lived in fear of waking up wet, which I did almost every night. If only they had been as understanding as some of you folks are with your kids. I read the discussion under bedwetting, and I can really tell you that your kids are so lucky that you did not shame them and let them choose their options of how to deal with it.

As I was growing up, I was prone to all sorts of UTIs which worsened the problem. I finally went to a urologist who did a cystoscopy, but due to the defect, he tore the urethra and I bled so much he couldn't see anything. I didn't go to a urologist again for several years, but eventually I did. The doctor offered the option of surgery to put in an artificial sphincter, but when I looked up the statistics online, it scared me out of pursuing that option.

For the last ten years I've used Depends for daytime, and cloth at night. I like the cloth better, and they work well at night because there's better coverage on the sides than most disposables. I'd use cloth all the time, but I don't have the confidence as to whether I look bulky or if I smell. Plus it's less convenient if you're an active person, which I am.

I look forward to "meeting" you all. I hope this forum is still active.

Tim

Hi Tim!
Welcome to the ISC. It has been pretty quiet here. We got hit hard with spammers and had to shut down the free access to the forum which I know turns some folks off....they just don't want to be bothered with usernames and password...but such is a necessity these days!

I use cloth diapers all the time. Except for travel, I wear cloth to work and to social events, since I can rely on the protection afforded and I appreciate not having to worry about a damn leak and wet spot when I get up after sitting on someone's furniture.

Have you looked at our Primer (third menu item down on the left on the Home Page)? Lots of very basic info but I urge you to look at the "what to wear" and look at the suspender briefs Addendum. Keeping cloth diapers "up" as they get wet and heavy is key to comfort and concealability.

You mention "Depend" for your daytime diaper, Tim, and many of us feel they are pretty poor diapers. This is not to say they may not be working well for you but a majority of incon folks prefer Attends to Depend in the low cost category. Tranquility ATN should be considered, and the cost is just a bit more than Depend and Attends.

You can wear a much better diaper for a more money with Molicare and Abena. You probably know this, but I thought I'd throw it out since many times folks wear one or two brands of diaper and don't even know there are lots of others....until you visit a site such as XP Medical....which I urge to do if you haven't been there yet. Get his link on our links page...but it is simply www.xpmedical.com

Joe K

Hi Joe,

Thanks for the nice welcome. Regarding the quality of Depends, I agree with you, but I'm one of the lucky ones whose insurance covers my supplies. I'm not sure if they would cover the more expensive brands, but one of these days I may try switching. For now, I use the "Dignity" Extra-Duty Doublers to insert in the Depends for added absorption, and they work well. But I still prefer cloth.

BTW is there a delay for posts to appear? I thought I had sent you a response, but maybe I got interrupted and forgot to finish it. Anyway nice to meet you.

Tim

Not normally, Tim.

But we got hit hard with spammers and the boss (Schoppy) has to shut down the forum and fix things. Then he was forced to go to a register to post system....yeah, I know our Forum cover page still says you don't have to register....but we do hope to return that policy in the future and the requirement to register is only temporary.

But, even so, after you sign in, if you "submit" your post, it should go up immediately. We moderate "after the fact", prefering to trust folks use good judgment and common sense. So far, so good.

Welcome again, great to have you and I see lots of good input from you and you've kept me busy responding! Now I hope others will jump on the bandwagon!

Joe K

Hello Tim,
Welcome to this group. Joe K has given you some good advice about cloth and disposable diapers. I'd like to echo his suggestion that you try cloth for daytime use. The distinct advantage (as discussed in the Primer on this website) is that cloth has a greater capacity, and you can make changes less frequently. I have not found odour a problem. Plastic pants always cover them and that serves as an important protection for odour as well. Joe suggests that suspender briefs help prevent sagging. I also find "Onesie" T-shirt covers work well to do the same. Depending on your insurance, they might also be eligible for reimbursement.
An important liability of the Depend brand is that they are designed more for a feminine body style, with wider leg openings that can leak. Their padding is also narrow and positioned more for the feminine anatomy. In addition to the brands that Joe recommends, I find that the Tena Super is an excellent fit and has a very good capacity.
I hope that you will post frequently. I look forward to further exchange.