www.incontinentsupport.org

Hi all

My first post here hope you don't mind

I've started to show some symptoms of urinary incontinence recently and I just wanted to describe where I was at and see if anyone else had had similar issues - guess I'm just looking for some support with people who are going through similar issues.

Problem I've got (reading endlessly on the internet about what it might be) is some kind of urge incontinence. I seem to find that on occasion I get the usual signal that I need to go, except instead of my body giving the usual almost indefinite window of time to find a loo, it goes from saying "you need a wee!" to "sorry mate, you'll burst if you don't go NOW!" in a matter of minutes. More often than not it's not an issue in that I get the signal and I find a loo; the problem tends to come if I'm in an unfamiliar place; in the middle of a long car journey; stuck in a meeting at work. It's caused a couple of embarrasing moments, well to me anyway, luckily nobody else noticed.

I'd say it's happening a few times a week; this is all new to me so working out methods of managing it, solving the issue, etc are still in early days. I've bought some pads and fix pants for the time being as I'd rather be safe, than sorry. I've been to see my doctor for some initial tests (blood test and urine test) but both revealed nothing interesting. I'm only in my early 30's so the doctor doesn't think it's anything prostate related as it would just be very very unlikely. I've not received an appointment yet but next up I'm being sent to a urologist for some further tests - whatever they might be ...

I'm a little worried that as what I experience is very hit and miss and that my issues aren't constant they might not find anything or say it's all in my head or something. I want them to work out what the problem is but right now it's not like this happens to me 7 days a week all the time; sometimes I can hold it and make it to the loo no problem just as I always have. But it's just these occasional losses of control that are happening sufficiently enough that I daren't go out without protection; but most of the time I find I wouldn't have needed it.

It totally feels like my bladder is working fine most of the time, but giving me the urgent messages on occasion at which point I just can't hold it in, like going from needing to go to desperate to go in a matter of minutes.

I wondered if anyone else had a similar issue; the internet is fab but most of the articles I read basically say incontinence is mostly in women who've have babies; older people; as a result of a trauma; and that a lot of cases end up being undetermined as to the cause. So not being a woman, older, having had trauma ... and having a bit of an unpredictable urge incontinence, I'm not feeling like what I have is obvious

I could type way more as I have a few questions for the group but wanted to keep this to a short essay rather than a long essay to begin with.

Any views or thoughts welcome

Thanks all

Admiral

Welcome Admiral,

You will find tons of good information and willing ears here. You are on the right path with seeing a doctor and my fingers are crossed it is nothing major or something that will stick with you for long.
Use the search feature and you will likely find that most questions have been asked, that's not to say you are not allowed to revisit any topic or question.

Again, welcome to the group

Rope

welcome admiral. At least you are seeing a doctor and being referred to urologist. One thing to remember when talking to your doctors is don't be embarrassed about your condition. They have heard it and seen it. You can find a lot of information in the forums and other areas of this site. One thing is for sure you are not alone. My bladder does the same thing. Some days I am dry and others not so much. Like you I get caught in meetings or will be working with something I just can't drop and go to the bathroom when my bladder says it is time to go. Give you a little background on how mine started, I thought I would be done using the bathroom, but as soon as I zipped up I would wet myself. Later on it started to be where my bladder acted like yours little warning and on the way to the bathroom I would started leaking. Never knew it was possible to pee while walking to the bathroom. Plus, it seems I get stopped on the way to the bathroom for a question which adds seconds to the trip. So I have to tell the person talk to you after I go to the bathroom. I eventually was diagnosed with neurogenic bladder which basically means my bladder goes into spasms. I have tried different meds, but they either gave me extreme dry mouth or made me very tired. So I soon asked the question to myself which was worse, having accidents or being very tired and still have occasional accidents. So as long as I can wear protection which holds the leaks I will go this route.
Good luck and hopefully you will find your answers soon.

Thanks guys. I think I'm at the point at the moment of thinking its come out of nowhere and I'm still working out how to deal with it. Doctor has been great and easy to talk to. I suspect the next few months will determine what's going on if they can work it out. In the meantime will just have to do my best with it. I think because its so new and strange I feel like I should be able to control it. Read some posts about meds having some strong effects but will see what urologist comes up with. I'm not mega overweight perhaps a slight beer belly of sorts so going to try and lose a little weight in case that's any kind of trigger. Appreciate the support Admiral

Welcome Admiral

You have come to the right place for support and help. I have a similar condition where the message to go arrives too late. Take yesterday I was in the supermarket and had I not been wearing diapers would have been in a terrible mess as I was stranded at the the furthest point from the loo. I hope all goes well with the doctor and they find out what is causing your problems.

Regards Greenbank

Hi Admiral and welcome.

You have a lot of company in this group who understand what you are going through. Urge incontinence or overactive bladder is the most common form of urinary incontinence.

Your urologist may be able to help you control your bladder incontinence through medication. Most of us use some form of pull-up or diaper. For all but the lightest incontinence, taped diapers are more reliable and less likely to leak.

Over time, most of us have found the best solution for our individual lifestyles. One thing common to most of us is that we rarely buy drugstore diapers, if we can avoid it. You can obtain better products and at a markedly lower cost by ordering either by phone or over the Internet from medical supply houses. I use and recommend XP Medical (XPMed), whose owner, Gary, is himself incontinent. He will give very honest and helpful advice. Also, if you know what you want so that you can order by the case, you will save about 30% of the price of individual packages.

Admiral, don't ignore the emotion aspect of incontinence. It can cause us a lot of stress. By being proactive and taking measures to control the symptoms of your problem you will maintain an active lifestyle and experience less anxiety. Re pull-ups or diapers, it is mentally tough to accept that you need to wear them. However, once past that point, life becomes easier. Good incontinence protection will give you good peace of mind.

Good luck!

--John

Thanks again everyone. It's reassuring to know there are supportive folk on the forum - I appreciate your replies.

I think because I don't have a diagnosis yet I'm getting information overload as I'm reading endlessly and not reaching any conclusions. The hardest part is the fact it's not constant. I've almost got an appointment (waiting for a callback from the urology department at the hospital to book) but given what's happening comes and goes I'm really worried they'll not conclude anything or tell me it's in my head or something. I know that no conclusion or nothing obviously wrong is in itself a possible outcome to a good number of cases of incontinence; but knowing my luck the day I go to see a specialist is the day everything behaves itself and makes me look stupid. Pretty sure it'll be the test where they pop a catheter in and measure pressure and volume and whatnot.

JD - you're right about the emotional aspect and I'm trying to "own" this rather than be swept along by it. It's helping me stay relatively positive and have a glass half full, rather than half empty, attitude. Ultimately whatever happens (hopefully it is just a phase or something I can work through) like you said there are solutions to maintain an active lifestyle and I'll be damned if I'm going to be in the position of worrying about going out just because of this. And as distressing as the idea of having to wear protection might be it's not like I'm doing it for the hell of it. I've been wearing protection about a month now and in some ways where initially it was a bind and embarrassing to show it in front of my wife, I think we've both become a bit normalised to it already; again I'm using it for a reason.

Thanks for the tip on slips. I've been using pads so far and they're okay most of the time but it only takes a flood and because, well, lets be blunt, man parts can be any shape, size or direction at any given moment, it can occasionally result in reasonable leaks as the pads don't have any leak guards or capacity to seal some of the leak in at the leg cuffs. He says having not really tried slips yet. I've got a drawer full of pads at the moment so trying to use them up first but my confidence in them is diminishing as this situation goes on. I'm minded to try slips; but there's a certain amount of getting your head around that as although they are and should probably just be referred to as protective slips or something (Tena and everyone else never call them diapers or nappies) there's that stigma and the idea of wearing a diaper is another step. I think I'll just have to tell myself it's a need thing, they just sit underneath my regular clothes, nobody but my wife need know it's even there, and that's that.

I'll be happier when I know what the experts think; and if I have to deal with this longer term then I'll deal with it. It's just that unknown. And because I'm dry for days then an accident will happen out of the blue, I can't really just ignore it or stop wearing protection in the hope it'll just pass.

I did want to ask whether folks here still wear regular underwear over their choice of incontinence product? And if so, is it for better concealment, more supportive, preference? One one hand my mind currently says what's the point - it gets warm enough down there too with the padding and it's only something else more to launder if there's a leak - but equally wasn't sure if this was a sensible approach.

Could I also ask if there's a perceived sensible timeframe around changing? As I don't leak all the time I don't always wet my pads; however I'm also conscious that like underwear (which you'd change daily) is it sensible to change the pads daily too, irrespective? I do find they are all bunched up after a days use and ofcourse there's no overall guide to how to manage this stuff so thought I'd ask the experts.

Thanks again all. Hope you don't mind my ramblings and questions they're not the most well formulated words!

Admiral

Hi Admiral

I have attached below a link to the Primer that contains very useful help and advice that I found invaluable when I started my journey and you will find that some of the questions you have will be better explained as the Primer was constructed with great attention to detail. The one about higeine is one of the best. I wear stretch pants over my diapers to hold the diaper more securely in place and to reduce the wear in the crotch area due to rubbing etc.

As far as changing is concerned don't keep the diaper on too long as the sweat can build up. I normally change between 3-4 times a day. I was given a great tip by another member the key is to learn to be wet for a bit before changing but don't keep it on too long. I like most people wet and then changed streight away as a result I did not learn the capacity of the diaper. Intially I did wear waterproof pants 24/7 to prevent leaks however now I only wear at night as I found the product mix that met my needs during the day etc.

http://www.incontinentsupport.org/primer_index.php

Don't worry about the ramblings it is all part of the journey as with every journey incontinents is no exception and has lots of path markes to overcome on the way.

Like you I too had information overload as it felt I had been hit for six however on finding this site and forum made my life a lot better.

Regards

Greenbank

Hello admiral,

A lot of the questions you asked really depend on you situation and needs. When I first began to have problems I started out with the Depend guards. They did fairly well. At first it was more then I needed and was able to go about 8 hours before changing it. Any longer then that the pee starts to really stink. Also the padding begins to clump up and fall apart. Later I had to change to the pull up style and found the same to be true. About 8 hours till it started to fall apart.
Now that was till I began to have more frequent accidents and was wetting myself more then making it to the toilet.
As for your question about the regular underwear, I never wore them over my protecting other then the pads. When I got to the pull up stage I didn't see the point of having them around and actually had a melt down and destroyed them all and an emotional frenzy.

I know this does not flat out answer your question but there is no one size fits all answer to all this. I do hope I have helped at least a little.

Rope

Admiral,

Ditto to what Rope and Green has said. Each of our journeys are little bit different and what works for one doesn't work for the other. I wear regular underwear over my briefs for two purposes. One to help support it when I do have an accident and the other is to help catch any leaks that get past the brief. I will say I did have to throw out all my old underwear since I wore a spandex material underwear. I now wear cotton which helps soak up small leaks. As for changing, I have found at night if I am lucky enough not to have an accident I can reuse the brief. For the day, I do not reuse as they have sweat and just don't feel comfortable after wearing them all day.