Hello all, thank you for taking the time to read this.
So, basically, for maybe the past four years or so I've been having random occurances where my bladder has felt somewhat...weak. Like generally, you know normally your body will warn you that you need to urinate soon, and you'll have anywhere from maybe ten minutes to half an hour to get to a toilet? Instead, for me it's sometimes near-instant, that I have to find a toilet within five minutes or less. Not always, but often. There's also some rare days where I'll need to go as much as ten times in one day (usually it's five), or have to wake up maybe once every hour while sleeping to go to the toilet. I should also note that I have IBS.
How this mainly affects me is that I suffer from acute social anxiety disorder, and up until recently I didn't go out of my home more than once a year. But I've been gradually going back out, first just chilling in the back garden, then going for walks, then heading to local shops...and so on. I'm also losing weight from that and exercising too (being honest, I'm quite a fat dude), which is of course all wonderful...but the urine issue has been getting gradually worse, not better. And it's beginning to affect my confidence, which is exactly what I don't need when I'm trying to get my life back on track (I'm 25 and have never worked, something I'm trying to put straight).
The other problem is that if I were to start using some form of protection - pads/briefs/nappies/whatever they're called - I'm terrified of people I know finding out; I live at home with my mother, her boyfriend, and two sisters. I could probably deal with my mother knowing - she's very understanding and easy to get on with - but I don't speak to her boyfriend often (no hate, just no common ground), and I don't think I'd like him knowing. Much less my sisters, both of whom are younger than me and look up to me (yes, I know that the 'wearing adult nappies = lack of respect from family' idea is silly, and also likely offensive to the incontinent; I apologise). I'm looking to move into my own place at some point, but it won't be for a while. Using protection while I'm here would be difficult to hide, especially disposing of used nappies.
I've had no more than a few wetting accidents these last four-ish years, twice because there was a queue for the toilet, and once because I just didn't wake up fast enough. No-one found out, luckily. Of course, it's easier to cope with urine issues when you don't go out much or have a job; not having a restroom ten seconds away would be altogether different. The IBS doesn't help much either.
So, what do you guys think? Am I incontinent, or just overreacting? Is it tied to my IBS, perhaps, or my (over...) weight? Maybe something to do with the social anxiety? Or I could just be a hypochondriac and this is all in my head. What say you?
Note that I'm not looking for a definite solution (though that'd be nice), just thoughts and musings would be helpful.
I recognise that this is quite a wall of text and I apologise for that. If you read through all of it, good job! Thanks for reading.