www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello everybody,

I found this Forum about a month ago, and after reading some of the topics/discussions posted, I decided to join, as I thought that this was one of the best about incontinence.

So.. I'm a 34 male, writing from Europe..
I have been suffering from urinary incontinence for almost three years now, due to a nephritic infection degenerated into a total paralysis of the sphincters. Now I'm in briefs 24/7.
I can't say that it totally changed my life, but personally, thx to full supportive and understanding wife / Family, I'm still alive..

Welcome to the board, Lorentz78

Life sure has handed you a blow but it sounds like you are making the best of it. Good for you! I am glad you have a supportive and understanding wife to help you when you get "down" and it is common to get "down" when you have to wear diapers/briefs to keep pants and bed dry. With three years experience, you have encountered a lot already but still, I sure you've also had the "bad days" when you ask "Why me? What did I ever do to deserve this?"

I appreciate your kind comment about our board, especially since it is one of only two I know that are legit incon boards while the AB/DLs have a huge presence on the web as I am sure you've discovered with any searching or surfing involving "diapers".

And let me add that I am not judging the AB/DL crowd; to each his own! I will give them credit for the development of better diapers that they demanded and we all benefit from better diapers that fit well and provide the protection we need for peace of mind and the abilty to go on with our lives.

Thx JoeK,

You are totally right; it's a "burden", Sometimes I feel the same things You have written (Why me? etc...), but I always try to think that I must be grateful not to have some real bad desease (And I don't even want to name that).
I know, it sounds quite simple and silly, but when You have to deal with inco you only can react in two ways:
Isolate Yourself or Manage the problem.

As my condition seems to be irreversible (The only way out would be a complex surgery with 30 - 40% of success, but I'm not going to do that at the moment) I chose to manage the problem.
The everyday life is always the most complicated (Particulary at work); but, having to carry a diaper bag wherever I go (Always in the car), manage holydays and trips, or decline invitations for something I can't do (Anything involving water, just like a pool party) is not that tragedy for me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not enjoying my condition.. I smply try to not to let it ruin my life.

I agree with you about the AB/DL theme. Searching for inco support forums and diapers suppliers around Europe, I stumbled in a lot of AB/DL ones. I didn't know anything about this "affection", but I don't care about. If they are with that.. Anyway, that's why I chose this forum (Got no choice, don't wear for fun..).

Hi Lorentz78

Glad you joined us this is a good group and most people here will try and help you.
I am sorry to hear you have nephritic infection I don’t know much about it just it can be serious. We all have different things that caused our incontinence that is why this group is good.

Life has hit you below the belt and I am sorry to hear that. Living with incontinence can be difficult it has its own challenges but having a supportive wife that help and I mean a lot. There is nothing like family support to get you through all of this.

You have a good outlook on incontinence I don’t know if I ever achieved it I still want to be normal again but like you my incontinence is irreversible so I do what it takes to get along every day. Having your wife support well that is everything I know we have been married for 45yrs.

Take care
2lyle

Hi Lorentz78, welcome to the Forum... you, no doubt, after 3 years of your troubles, have a good working system all figured out. I commend you in not letting it all get in the way of living, you obviously have a strong will and don't let stuff push you around too much, you just push back! Great members here, lots of advice, of which I am sure you will be able to contribute to... Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

Thx guys,

and sorry, a bit late; I'm quite busy theese days..
Generally, I'll be able to check news & answers once/twice a week..

As You wrote, the support of family/wife is a main part of the "treatment". I'm not sure I could manage this trouble the best way without their support.

I must say it took me roughly 1 year to tell my parents what was happening (I live abroad and I suppose it gave me time enough to take exams, accept and finally confide), and I'm quite sure that the most of You, just like me, perceive this as one of the hardest part, but personally, when I finally decided to rely on my family, I realized how determinant their support was going to be.

My wife was for sure my first support. After all exams/clinical test was done and resulted the worst possible, first told me that her love for me wasn't going to change, and that it was time to explain all to my parents..
At that point, almost 1 year, I realized and felt a sad sense of permanence, and began the hardest days (For my wife and me). She was really affected, but always trying to make me smile and feel confident.

It took 1 more year to totally accept the fact and recuperate confidence. Life goes on..