Hi Myminiandme,
I have tried a couple of meds for incontinence, i have forgotten the names though, i did try two different ones, now before i say anything, i do have a very low tolerence for any medication!
they made me feel quite dizzy and queezy most of the time and they also made me loose all libido
I have been hanging around with different people who have incontinence issues, and i have never heard anything positive about the meds used..
not sure about the guys and gals on the forum here, no doubt they will let you know their experiences.
i do know the meds used fall into two different catagories,
'anti-spasmodic' and the range of meds used for 'over active bladder' are 'anticholinergic '
the possible side effects for the anticholinergic based meds are;
•Dry eyes. Dryness in the eyes is a particular problem for people who wear contact lenses. Patients who wear contacts may wish to start with low doses of medication and gradually build up.
•Dry mouth.
•Headache.
•Constipation.
•Rapid heart rate.
•Confusion, forgetfulness, and possible worsening of mental function, particularly in older people with dementia, such as those with Alzheimer's disease.
•In rare cases, anticholinergics may precipitate glaucoma.
and for anti-spasmodic meds;
•Weakness.
•Dizziness.
•Drowsiness.
•Hallucinations.
•Insomnia.
•Dry mouth.
•Impotence.
•Restlessness.
not a doctor myself, but i did a small bit of research for the question you asked.
i do know that meds affect different people in different ways,it may be you could be a person who gets all the benifits from the medications!
i do think the best person to advise you on the meds and their possible side effects is your doctor. although i have done, what you are doing, asking people who suffer with the condition in its many forms, how they get on with the meds.
ultimately, the doctors advice trumps all.
Mike
But then on the other hand you maybe the one person that they will work for 
I know many on the board will back me on this. Most of us including myself had tried drugs and to make a long story short. Found that diapers really aren't that bad 
For me I feel good I'm healthy I really don't have any medical issues to speak of. Other then my bladder is junk 
And well ok I could stand to loose 10-15 pounds 
ok-ok maybe closer to 20 