www.incontinentsupport.org

Early last year a wooden chair snapped under me at home. Ended up with mild thoracic scoliosis in upper back. Dec last year when my lower back started to have issues collapsing etc (don't remember how I did it) when i noticed the incontinence until around then (as I tend to have sweating issues down there)and started wearing depend pull ups since then Had cat scans done in April this year as my G.P and I thought the pain would go away (still taking naproxen for all injuries) had cat scan in April and found impingement nerve at L4/L5 S1. G.P, my support network and I thought the incontinence was caused by anxiety would go away by itself.

Saw the urologist for the 1st time about a month a go he was quick 15mins in and out kind of as I had xrays of back and bladder ultrasound he said he thinks its not the bladder but because of back injury he said he thinks its something about bladder nerves being around the area of injury and the nerve might be damaged in some way and I was put on a waiting list for a cystoscopy which he thinks will show nothing wrong.

Stupid me I froze up I forgot to tell him about the wetting accidents as well as I'm restricting my fluid intake.


I'm scared I might have to wear the pull up underwear for the rest of my life as Both my GP and I have ruled out surgery for my back as it tends to cause more problems then its worth as well as I don't have the confidence in my bladder any more as I tend to have good days when I don't think I and there are no signs that I've wet myself or anything but tend to wet myself maybe couple times a week or emotional or bad weather. I kind of wish I had no feeling of it when it happens as it is extremely distressing.

It seems sometimes when I restrict fluids it helps (already been told of/lecture by G.P as I am dehydrating myself and she tends to be caring) and next week going to be told off again/ lecture by psychiatrist as I took myself of lithium(as bipolar type 2) because of it.

Also at the moment none of my friends or family knows about it I am dreading that they find as my mother uses my injuries back and RSI against me in arguments and I know that she'll have a field day if she ever found out.

I really don't know how to mentally accept it as I am trying to as my G.P and I have ruled out surgery and don't think the urologist can do much as its more then likely nerve damage. and it is really distressing when I have to go to the chemist when I run out.

I am currently working on this issue with my support network (G.P, Private Psychologist(whom works with my psychiatrist whom I see under medicare) Psychiatrist). But I still have issues accepting it as well as it has destroyed what little self esteem I had. I don't know what to do as it impossible for me to accept as I am only 24 and I tend to find my bladder to be uneasy feeling when laying down especially when I go to bed which I have difficulties getting to sleep because of it.


Thanks
I hope this makes sense
(ps I live in Australia)

Hi Tom 23!
You've gone through a lot by what your post just said. By experience of what I have gone through, it takes a lot of patience to finally figure out what's causing your incontinence. Be sure you take time with your urologist the next time you see him and let him know your concerns. He's there to help you, not to confuse you.
Sometimes it's hard to be descreet when you're having to wear some sort of protection. I've been totally incontinent for over 10 years now and only a handfull of people know I wear a diaper.
This forum is here to help you in many ways. Mental support is here too. We all can give you suggestions of what to wear and how to cope with the hassle of it all, but you have a lot of friends here that are ready to listen to you.
Keep us posted as you find out more information from your doctors. .............Paul Martin

Well I guess Ill chime in here for my first post. Tom I have the same back injuries along with a few more discs that have caused some nerve damage. Ive been having problems on and off for years now and its gotten to the point that Im in diapers almost 24/7. I've had trouble dealing with it but I've always thought about it this way, it could be worse. Theres a lot of people out there who have so much worse things to deal with. I've talked to a few close friends about my wearing diapers and they have all been very understanding. If someone automatically thinks worse of you because you're taking steps to avoid wet pants or accidents then screw em. Ive had some worries about getting back into the dating world after my recent divorce and Ive been out with a few different women that know about my situation. They have been cool with it for the most part. Wearing diapers doesn't change who you are and if people can't get past that then you don't need them in your life. I hope this helps you out bud.

Hi Tom 23! I deal with incontinence caused by nerve damage to my lower back. I was in a car-semi accident back in 1998 and ended up with ruptured and buldging disks in my lower back along with permanent nerve damage. The nerves damaged left me with dead areas on my legs and buttocks as well as no feeling or control of my bladder. I got to go through all the tests, etc... only to be told that I was lucky to be walking and to have survived the accident in the first place. It took me a few years but I learned to manage the incontinence and I remain a very active individual despite having to wear a diaper 24/7. My doctors will not perform surgery on my back as long as I am able to move around without severe pain. Most of the time my back is pretty much pain free with a few exceptions. My neurologist told me that even if they were to do a surgery on my disks that there was pretty much no chance that it would help my bladder control since the nerves had been damaged. My regular doctor suggested I try several ways of managing my incontinence. She felt that a cath would work just fine but it was not my cup of tea. I'm sure they work just great for someone who moves very little but I found myself way too active to wear a cath. Finally she told me I might look into using "absorbant products" (her term) which was her way of saying diapers.

In any case hang in there. You are not alone. You have come to the best place on the web for support. The people on ISC are nothing short of wonderful. They have helped me many times through the years.

Wow, that sounds like exactly whats been going on with me. The only difference is I feel like my bladder is always full but maybe thats just a wierd nerve damage thing going on. Its been a challenge dealing with wearing diapers but I have good days and bad. If I can tell its going to be a bad one or just feel like it is I just wear "protection" some days I'll go without and just bring a change of clothes and a diaper with me to be prepared. This board has given me a lot of information and peace about all of this and I agree it is full of awesome people.

I've read this thread a few times but haven't responded? This kind of thread has away of coming around. My heart truly goes out to you fellows/people that get thrust into incontinence. I know it's hard. But hey your not alone. Your no less a man because your Bladder leaks So what you wear diapers Some people have a slow drul out the side of thier mouth that the whole world can see. Others can't walk without help from a support device. You could be stuck in a wheel chair. How about missing an eye or a limb. All these things people can see and if they are narrow minded enough they can judge these people as being less human then thier conceded selves You must wear protection. Very few people have to know about that You can dress in ways to hide your protection. Wear dark pants whenever possible. Black is best Be sure to also wear pants that are loose fit. Hey Overalls are the best for hiding protection. I often wear Overalls when I know I'm going to be out in a public situation for an extended time period. You can wear a think cloth diaper and no one will ever know

So all I'm saying is there are far worse things to deal with other then diapers. Please look up the tread titled "What not to wear" As I remember we talked at length about how to dress in that thread.

Keep your chin up................................Sandy

Sandy, that is so well put. Especially the part where you stated that a man is no less of a man just because he cannot control his bladder. My ladyfriend has told me the same thing several times. We just learn to deal with it because we have to. Yes, we have special needs but that does not mean we have to stop living a full life.

There are very few people who know that I am diapered 24/7. I have been able to "hide" the fact that I am diapered by the clothing I wear and the diaper that I am wearing. I prefer cloth to disposables but use them both. I was wearing disposables to work but was having trouble with the tapes staying put so at the advice of members on this forum I have been wearing cloth to work and so far it has been successful. Plus I felt that disposables tended to sag more in the crotch than properly pinned cloth diapers. I wear a pair of no-fly bikini briefs over the top of my diaper and plastic pants which helps keep everything in place. I also believe that wearing the biefs helps with support. I wear jeans and pants the next waist size up which also help. In summer the shorts that I wear are cargo type shorts which are baggy enough to hide even thicker diapers.