www.incontinentsupport.org

I thought I would share my experiences of dealing with incontinence. For over 13 years I have dealt with total bladder and partial bowel incontinence, and learned to live with it, and enjoy life to it's fullest.
First of all I can only share what has worked for me, and it may not work for you, so keep that in mind.

For me after my accident and after I was out of the hospital I wanted my old life back real bad, but because of the constant worry of leaking I tried just about every possible solution, but none worked, and after my first accident away from home I quickly accepted diapers.

For me the most important thing was to find a diaper that fit me like underware, and then it just took a couple of months to get used to wearing a diaper with confidence.
Once you get the confidence that nobody knows it becomes no different than wearing regular underware.

After 13 years of wearing diapers now they have the opposite effect on me. I feel completely naked, and exposed when I am not wearing one, even if it is for a few minutes, I never go longer than taking a shower without wearing protection.

I know what it is like to date and be intimate with incontinence, and it can be very easy to deal with if you learn to live with it, and not against it, if that makes sense?

Feel free to ask me questions or comment on what I shared!

I wish so much i could trade my bowel incontinence for bladder incontinence. Dating, running errands and just day to day life is a pain in the fact that i dont know when im gonna go. Half the time i can feel if ive got to go or not, but when i can feel it, i often cant win the battle to hold it in.

Ive thought so much about trading my car for a van so atleast i could change without going back to the house or parking in a wooded area.

When its time to travel, there is just no choice, diaper bag and all thats needed.

Been there im new to post.Mine started about 20 years ago boating accident. It took me years to accept and at times i stikk feel i cant deal with it but i just go on. I have no bladder control. Just nervous never been on a post or forum before

Evil, you pretty much summed up how a lot of us feel. It can drive you mad at times. You are not alone with those feelings. In short it sucks. Here you can open up and maybe get some relief talking about your feelings. Papa

Evil, don't feel too nervous about posting on a forum... It took me a LONG time to finally register instead of just lurking around reading, and talking about it has been immensely helpful just to get it off your chest and out in the open, especially if nobody else knows about your "little secret" as it is with me. Only health care provider, and the home health care nurse, and 1 close friend know, that's it, so feel free to post, it really helps! Having to cope with this on your own is just not a good time at all, believe me, I have had my share of dark days in the past, but now that I have opened up about it, I notice a difference in my outlook on life, as well as my day to day behavior. Keep talkin! Puff

I had a back injury several years ago, and as a result of that accident I have what is known as Cauda Equina Syndrome (CES). I was only bladder incon for several years, then little by little I became bowel incon too. I've been bowel and bladder incon for the last 2 years, and it takes some adjusting, but I'm mobile, and my incon does not cause me any pain so that is good. I have enough pain in my back to make up for it.

I'm glad I didn't start off being double incon. Starting off with bladder incon was bad enough, but it did give me some time to adjust before I slowly became bowel incon. The only thing I can recommed to anyone that is incon is to be confident in the products that you use (no leaks) and if necessary, take odor meds such as Nullo, etc. It really does make a difference.

Severe nerve damage has made diapers a way of life. A couple of my doctors have been very supportive. It has been a hard road but it's slowly getting easier to deal with.

_________________
When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Hey SeattleDoug, I wish my doc was as good about it, when I told him the external system was too expensive and just did not work for me as I go out for 2-4 hours, and it is a pain to apply and remove, and gets hard on the skin as well and I was now using disposables, he just kind of looked at me and said 'do what you need to' kind of thing. I am sure he thinks at 42 I am too young to have to rely on a diaper for this problem, but it works, and is not that expensive, and I can got out without the hassles that would nornally keep me in, and mentally I have dealt with it and it is now OK.... He is very understanding in the matter of having serious urgency, and sent me to get checked out so in that area he was great, the way I am dealing with it has him concerned from what I can tell. If the shoe was on the other foot and he took a look at what it is like to be standing in the middle of a parking lot and be wetting your pants, he may think otherwise. That conversation is sure to come up sometime in the future, but for now I just go with what works for me, and could care less what he thinks either way. One day in my shoes and he would probably see things a LOT different, I really don't think they fully understand what it is to have to cope with incontinence at all... Puffy

Puffypants,....maybe I've missed it, but have you seen a Urologist? Just having some understanding what is causing the problem (urge) might be helpful as maybe some thing can be done to address the problem that is causing the problem. I've been incon for several years, and I would tell you my thoughts are that you should use whatever products work best for you. I know there are several ppl that doing cathing, but I just shun on the thought of doing that all the time (internal, or external) would not work for me, but in part, it is because I'm also bowel incon too.

I don't have any comments from any of the doc's that I see, but I am a partial peraplegia so I'm sure that has a great deal to do why none of the doc's comment, or make any remakes about me wearing diapers. In fact, as I reflect back, the only doc that I have seen recently (last Oct/Nov) that did make any comments about the use of diaper was my Urologist, and I think he was exploring the idea to see if was receptive to the thought of using a cath. Since I'm also bowel incon and mobile, I don't see how using a cath would be an improvement, unless I experienced a lot of skin issues (diaper rash), and I don't. Unless somethig comes up, I don't have a follow-up with the Urologist for 2 yrs, so I will contine to do what works best for me which is the continued use of diapers.

Bottlon line,......do whatever works best for you, but I would encourage you to find out if you don't already know what is causing you to be incon. Just my 2 cents worth.

Yes johnnstone, I have seen the Urologist, two in fact and had 2 cyctoscopies done, only showed a prostate infection on the latter one last August, did the fill and drain Urodynamics, but revealed nothing except for the fact that I had to go immediately when I sensed I had had enough, and he never even got a chance to remove the catheter, it happened that fast, not unseen before, but most can hold it until it is taken out. For me there was no waiting, just the GO NOW sensation with no hope of holding on for any longer. Not interested in seeing him again for any further tests, I am poked and prodded out. The rear ender car accident was at high speed, and left me off work for a year, and came along with a mess of back problems, some I have resolved through my own doing with the pool sauna and gym routine, physio and massage therapy, which hurts like Hell and is very temporary, all my knots and lumps always come back to visit me. The doctor I see thinks that nerve damage is most likely the cause, my back got pretty torn up in all of this, but I am not slated to see a nerve specialist, and I doubt there is even one near me within 200 miles. I have very good quality of life, and deal with all this pretty well, just keep on keeping on and don't give in to it. Have the diaper thing figured out, and the external system for entire days works very well, and travelling, takes all the worry factor out of it... thanks for the reply, Puffy