www.incontinentsupport.org

I finally plucked up the courage to make an appointment to talk to a professional regarding my incontinence at the local Bladder Clinic. It was all fine until they sent me an appointment letter and a member of my family opened it by mistake!

I didn't say very much about it when I was questioned about why I had an appointment with someone at the Bladder Clinic. Guess it was a close call. I'm not really ready to talk to my friends or family about it. I will do one day.

I'm not sure how I'm going to bare this topic, pun intended, to may family members yet. I have a relative that is living with me right now. I don't think they know, but I'm sure it will become a question soon enough. I will just honest and keep it simple. "It's better than leaking all over the carpet".

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Like the others have said, try to relax and plan ahead. I am not ashamed that I have to wear diapers but this isn’t something that I feel everyone needs to know either. We don’t go around telling others that we are wearing briefs, boxers, and or nothing at all under our clothes so what is different about our diapers. They are our underwear and so what we have to change them more than others. Over the last 3 years I have been wearing 24/7 I have learned how to stay away from home without anyone knowing I wear diapers. The advise about putting them into bags is one of the biggest helps. Not only do I do that but I spray some Renuzit spray into each bag before I tie them up. If I can’t get them out of the house every day, I always carried a second bag that didn’t have anything in it and I would spray the inside of that bag as well. I would keep my used diapers in that bag and when I left for good, it looked like I was just taking my own luggage back home with me. Normally though I carry a bag with me everywhere that has changes in it and many times I will put my used ones in it and carry it out with me when I go to run a errand so I can throw them away at a gas station or wherever I can find a legal dumpster to dispose of them. For the bedding I always use the disposable pads under me so that I don’t have to worry as much about leaking on a bed. When I get up in the morning and make the bed, I just fold it back up and put it in my bags.

Like I said, I am not ashamed that I have to wear diapers, I just choose not to let it rule my life and or bring attention to it if I don’t really have to. In the past 3+ years there have only been 3 or 4 times that I have brought up the fact that I have to wear diapers and that is because I had to have private sleeping arrangements. I was working with groups that several men would sleep in one room together and I had to let the leaders know if they wanted my help that I had to have a private room and why. Each leader I had to deal with was very understanding and it never went any further than that. In fact one of them has been a life saver for me because we has taken me to doctor appointments to where I wasn’t allowed to drive afterwards and my wife couldn’t get off work to be with me. This is a true, true friend and when you find them, you will find that what we fear is mainly just that, our fear and we need to learn that it really isn’t what we imagine it will be. We are our worst enemies when it comes to thinking the worst about ourselves and the fact that we have to wear diapers.

Kent

This is most likely one of the hardest areas to deal with. As for myself, I have not informed anyone in my family that I have any kind of control issues, they all know I went to the doc and Urologist recently, but the hernia and testicle pain issue I have as well was a convienient cover for that. I will most likely discuss it with my mother if anyone, as she is 70+ and due to stomach issues uses womens Depend pullups, so I have a bit of an allie in her when it does get brought up. Last time I was over to see them, a friends daughter was there who is pregnant, and they got into the diapering discusssion, as well as rashes/creams etc... I was abit a quiver on the inside, thinking to myself... If You only knew! what was right under your nose... One day I am sure it will happen, but I am not in any hurry for that to arrive right now. I am sure I overthink what their reactions will be just out of fear that this kind of disorder has in your mind, and when it is finally out in the open, is really not the big deal you make it out to be... I just keep telling myself that! Puff

I posted this in another thread, but I thought this would be more appropriate. I am going on a trip with the wifes family in May. We will be going to Disney World and staying in a condo for 6 days together. I have to wear diapers 24/7. I'm bringing 1 pkg of Extra's with me and 1 pkg of Xplus. I have to have a whole other bag just for my diapers. I don't know where I'm going to put them all. The problem I'm facing is that I will be practically living with these people for 6 days. How do I keep this secret? I'm going to have to take the diapers out every morning. I'm going to carry a backpack throughout the park with my spare diapers in it. I usually don't wet that much while I'm walking around the park because I'll be sweating. So I'll probably go through like 4 diapers a day. My point is, somebody is bound to suspect something. I don't know what to do. How do I keep this secret from all these people?

That's a tough situation, Don, but try to keep in mind we are our own worst ememies thinking everyone knows we are wearing diapers.

I think it is possible to keep your secret even with 6 days living "close". We all get our private times, in the bathroom, if no where else, but that allows a diaper change. You also feel you won't have to change more than 4 times a day....which is in your favor....your number of bathroom breaks is not going to stand out.

I say "try to be casual......" meaning if you can pull that off you won't appear to be nervous or figgity which could lead someone to ask what's wrong or what is bothering you. You want the opposite....to not be noticed as you enjoy the trip and the good times.

You've selected good diapers so you should have no worries about the Extras keeping you secure by day and X Plus secure by night. Tho some sort of beddding protection is a must for peace of mind knowing you won't ruin the mattress if you do experience an overnight leak!

With the confidence of good diapers to keep you from embarassement at the Disney park and any other places you all visit together, you should be able to "force youself" to smile and have a good time. As for the back pack, I would cover for that by having a camera in there along with sun block and a light poncho (for rain of course) with the diapers buried in the bottom....should only be one or two diapers I would think. And it's also a place to stuff souveniers you pick up along the way!

I've always covered for my back pack....if I need to explain anything at all.....by saying I hate to carry stuff in my hands....like bags or parcels....and that is true. I absolutely like to have my hands and arms totally free when walking about so the back pack is a constant for me.

Use a diaper deodorant if you think it will enhance your confindence. Fresh Again is a good one and there are others. I hope you can find disposal sources for used diapers....that can be challenging. But tricks like hanging back from the group when necessary, to get a used diaper out of the back pack and chuck in a trash container, may be possible....I'm sure you can get creative with excuses or ploys to get yourself some private moments here and there......but not excessive to raising questions with the rest of the group.

Same with the overnight diaper....you may need to get creative with when and how you get it to a trash receptical. If it is going to involve time, then the deodorant becomes an important part of your stealth to keep the used diaper around until you can dispose of it.

Best of luck! I think you will get sufficently creative to pull it off and have a good time at the same time!

Oh, yes, and worse case scenario.....someone does find out.....remember that's not the end of the world, either, and most likely will result in a "nothing" moment.....remember, it's no big deal....so you have to wear diapers....OK.....where are we going to eat lunch?

JoeK