www.incontinentsupport.org

I have been wearing diapers for years and I too am blessed that I have the full support of my family and spouse. The surgery and drugs with all of their side affects was not an option for me nor a path that I wanted to take. Diapers allow me to live as normal a life as anyone else.

When my brother-in-law began to have urinary problems, he went to his doctor for a check up. He gave him Flomax which did nothing for him. The next suggestion was surgery, which he went through. Even this has not improved his condition one bit.

I understand that there are several approaches to bladder problems, I just chose wearing diapers as the solution I can live with. My brother-in-law on the other hand takes a urinal with him or is limited to short outings or has constant anxiety searching for the nearest restroom. Given his choice I'll keep wearing diapers

Let me add my comment,

I believe a good doctor will advise you of all possible ways to help a patient who is incontinent. It's their job and that's why they are practicing medicine. A good doctor will not push you to do something you don't want. My uroligist is a good doctor. He's amazed on my attitude about diapers. I guess most of his patients are horrified at the thought of having to wear a diaper. But I really believe most doctors out there are only doing what they are trained to do. Advise the patient their options, whether it be meds, surgery, or coping with diapers, and then let the patient decide.

Oh, by the way, I'm really proud of our female members who have jumped on this subject. Way to go girls!!!!! .............Paul Martin

I just got around to reading this... probably should have a while ago, but things have been really busy of late.

I faced a similar situation with my doctors when I was 18. After the usual rounds of testing and trying two different meds (neither of which were effective) I was given the options of surgery or just dealing with it.

I wasn't comfortable with the surgical approach... the rate of success weren't 100%, and even if it was "successful" only a small percentage of patients regained complete control.

Obviously I chose to wear protection and just deal with it for the rest of my life. I can't say that I have regretted the decision. I've met a number of incontinent individuals, both online and in person, who sit around all day and complain about how hard it is and how much their lives suck. It is a challenge, sure... but everyone knows that life isn't easy or fair. Plus, being all down in the dumps sure isn't going to make things any better.

Keep a good attitude about it, deal with it as best you can, and get on with life. There is a lot to do out there... and I'm sure not going to let something like this slow me down.

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~~PuddleGuy

Well said Puddle guy, Well Said!!!

Those who have read my post know by now that i still deal with the idea of giving up.. and often encourage others to live with their incontience.. I must say, that this should only be true as a LAST..and i do mean LAST resort. Why do I say this? Well, firstly, it does seem that as of late my incontience does not seem as as bad as it always is. Secondly, i am undergoing biofeedback/plevic relaxation therapy, which may hold promising results. Now, for MY specfic situation, this may be very effective in treating or eliminating the incontinence. I am optimistic that it will.

Learing to live with incontience is important..but giving up on hope of treatment i feel is inadvisable, until every aspect has been explored. If one has tests of CMG, and urodyamics, and show no sings of OAB.. If neurolgical scans are done indicating no signs of neurological abnnormalities, and a thourogh evaluation has been done on the pelvic floor musculatuure, then do what you need to do.
So, if you must, get used to wearing/using protection, but DON'T simply assume that there is no other way to treat it unless you have been down EVERY possible route your doctor can think of..in my case, had i given up before now, i may have given up too early. Neurolgical cases are far less likely to be resolved than muscle problems.. though the latter can also be permanenet depending on the degree of the damage

What lead to this change in mindset? I'm not sure.. possibly due to my recent longer periods of dryness..possibly due to finding a PT that is close, but something has changed in my perspective on my dealings with this issue.. Maybe i just got so fed up with rash that i figured that i would try any and all things to keep my dry.

Now, knitter1, in your case, since you deal with both urge and stress, i can totally understand your reasoning in giving up trying to control it. Were i in your situation, i would do the same. But, i don't think i am. My PT said that she thinks that my incontience has less to do with my medication, or anything else neurlogical etc, than it has to do with my pelvic floor not relaxing enough when i do use the bathroom. There seems to be a lot of sense in that. So, after playing doctor roulette, i feel as if i'm FINALLY getting somewhere.. and you don't know how good it feels until youve actually done it. I feel sorry for those of you who haven't.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Yes, I made the same calculations and came to the same conclusion that diapers were best

To me, it was also that with medications, 50% effective is considered really good. As I saw someone say on a board once, "Great, I only need diapers half of the time. Now if I only knew which half." I figured I take zoloft but still get depressed sometimes, and I take prilosec but still get heartburn sometimes. If I take detrol, I'll still need diapers sometimes. Might as well just be all the time with this.

Hi all yes I agree with everyone that diapers are most of the time a better choice than meds or surgery.JRB you brother in law is me to a tee the meds did nothing for me and no to surgery.I know this is always a personal choice to use a diaper with all the stigma arond them.

It was my doctor who suggested that I try "absorbant products" to manage my incontinence. This was only after she had suggested that I try a few other methods. I got the feeling that it was her last resort to advise me to try diapers. At first I attempted timed restroom visits. I had limited success with this at first but over time my already limited bladder control diminished to the point where timed restroom visits became useless. I'd set an alarm to wake me twice a night but would wake many times to an already wet bed. Then there was the good old cath. I hated it. I had multiple "accidents" with the cath. It was unreliable and uncomfortable. In my case surgery was not an option. My doctor finally suggested I try using "absorbant products". Since that time I have come to accept wearing diapers as part of my everyday life. I know that I'll always be incontinent outside of a miracle. I struggled with diapers at first. Part of the struggle was the mental stigma of having to wear a diaper. Then there was the struggle to find what diaper best fit my needs. I tried a half dozen brands of disposables. These were great for daytime use and for travel but often failed at night. One day I was visiting an incontinence forum similar to this forum and noticed that there were several posters who were using cloth diapers. The cost of the disposables was getting out of hand as I was going through as many as 6 or more diapers a day. I decided to give cloth a try. This was several years ago now and I am still wearing cloth at night and around home. I still wear disposables when travelling or when I know I'll be out of the house for more than a couple hours but the rest of the time I am wearing cloth. Coupled with a good pair of plastic pants I almost never have leaks at night with cloth. I found cloth not only reliable but comfortable to wear. Until someone comes up with a better, more cost efficient system of managing my incontinence I'll be wearing diapers.