www.incontinentsupport.org

Well.. seeing as how before i was so adamant and sure the incontience i expereince had a neurolgical basis.. and thats what i thought the doctors were saying too...I drive down there today.. to consult with htem. Going in, i knew what to expect. I knew before the MRI and EMG had shown no neurlogical abnormalites. So, i do not have ANY neurolgical conditon that would explain the incontience i am having. So, we are DONE in the neurology dept..it was good to rule out anything serious. And as for the strange neurolgical symptoms i was having? I chalcked it up, and the doc seemed to agree, to..can you believe this...side effects from veSICARE! so, the urologist who put me on it trying to help.. made things WORSE! and, i do think that vesicare may have made it worse.

So what lies ahead? Again, the tests showed no abnormality of bladder spasms.. ruling out neurgenic baldder or OAB. what was found is that the sphincter does not relax all the way. Also, parents have noted that since i was young , i did seem to have very litte warning for having accidents..that somehow, sometimes my bladder had diminshsed sensaiton. Which lends credence to the overflow theory. Ook.. so now what?

My urologist at the U has sugested pelvic relaxation therapy. My neurolgist said to give that a go. with my parents backing that..i am going to give that a go, if it is local..NOT driving across the state for it. As far as the diminshied sensation..maybe not much can be done about that..that may make the situation more permanent.

Time will tell.. But one thing is for sure..this IS the last urologist i will see.. i will see him for a few appointments,, see what he has to offer.. and if, after all is said and done, there is not a solution..thats IT..i wear diapers and live my life.. I know, ive said every time is the last.. and then i get renewed vigor.. and, let's face it..the idea that one has to wear diapers for the rest of one's life is hard to accept when you're my age without EXTENSIVE trial and error of everything.. some of you vets are in your 50's and have more or less accepted your condition as it is.. i am still in the process of doing that. I may have had this for a number of years.. but it still bothers me..the idea of.. using a diaper.. still does bother me..

But, at least neurogical stuff is ruled out..WOHHOO.. no longer do i worry about my nerves degenrating and losing bowel control or mobility or someting like that..


And, i remember something sandy said before.. sure rule out the serious stuff..but dont run to the doc everytime your bladder leaks.. again..this is sound advice.. there really is only so much the medical community can do... slowly, i am mentally coming to terms with this.. and these appointments may be a way to do that. And, also, since this problem does involve not emptying all the way, it could lead to retention if unchecked..which is far more dangerous than incon.. seriously..if it was just a problem of not being able to hold it..id just use the diapoer.. but sometimes..its getting it out thats the problem.. that needs the help of the doc..

I will be glad when it is over.. i dont know how many more long drives i can take.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I am convinced that there are some things that go wrong with people that the Doctors, no matter how many tests, can explain. I applaud thier effort to resolve the matter but at some time the Dr has to face the reality of the unexplained and admit to the plan B. In some cases the plan B is protection. They need to admit that currently there may be no answer the way we need to admit to ourselves that we must manage the problem. That is where I am at. How many Doctors and how many tests must I endure? How much money do I need to spend. This is not like a thumb growing from our foreheads. It really cannot be seen and its really not all that hard to manage. We do what we have to. In my lifes travels if I run along somebody that says "I've seen this and I CAN fix it" will I pursue a remedy. I've been dealing with this for over a year now and I'm very tired of the constant need to think about it. So a while ago I pretty much did and life really has not changed a bit. Its all part of my routine now and not much thought is put into my incontinence. Some days are better than others I will admit and changing out of something damp verses something wet is just a little bit of a bonus I guess. But I dress for the worse case all the time. Life is just too short to consume myself with incontinence issues. I manage it rather that it managing me!

Hi,

I started a response earlier however it somehow got deleted. Speaking as a vet, if that is what I am, part of accepting what you have is exhausting the investigation in the reasons why you have this. The advantages that a younger brother has in managing their incontinence, is in keeping with the reseach and development of the incontinence market compared to what us vets had in the 1970's.

Yup, I have had my share of surgeries, investigations and life altering infections. I remeber the challenges that McGuire urinal and condom catheters had, and the bitter disappointments with the failures. There comes a point when you get fed up with it all, and learn emotionally to move forward with this and your life. I still get the spasms and the pain that goes with it. But you can have a leaky bladder and be healthy otherwise. Be it neurogenic or whatever, you leak at innapropriate times, and you need to be socially acceptable in order to cope.

I too, dislike the daily planning incontinence brings, but I manage and while I have a less than healthy plumbing, I am healthy otherwise physically and emotionally. That has taken many years of learning and pushing myself to limits I would never had achieved had I not beleived that I could at least put the emotional aspects behind me. I have also been blessed with a supportive family.

Like many here, I have waned from the medical investigations and interventions. I have a great respect for the medical profession, and they literally saved my life a couple of times, but at this stage in my life I just want to be comfortable and happy, and I am that for the most part. My biggest fear was that I would fail at providing for my family, and in many respects I was going down that road until a voice told me to give ny head a shake.

Sure, there will continue to be those embarrassments, those challenges, and the little things those without incontinence don't experience. No matter why the reasons, be it neurogenic or whatever we leak. If you are still pursuing medical investigation, you still need to deal with the social aspect of it. I know some people who leak all the time, yet other's at night or sporadic night and day. Sometimes, it is more traumatic for our older brothers and sisters to suddenly have this, as opposed to the younger folks or those born with it.

Bottom line, it is a disability and usually has an underlying cause. I was your age once, and I would be lying if I said I don't know what your complaining about, because I had much the same complaints as you. Sociologygeek, it gets easier with management.

Aside from your days ordeal, I hope you are well

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HarperLee

Very well put Don0417
You are so right Doctors can only do so much. It's good to go get checked out. But don't make a career of it like some Diapers are not the end of the world. Tape one on and go out and live!!
..............................Sandy

I intend to do just that.. It really is not the end of the world. And thank you don for your candor.. i too have been dealing with these tests diapers and such for a year... and i really have not seen tangible results..im still where i was a year ago..some days kinda dry..some days almost no control.. somedays contemplating just forgetting altogether about using the toilet for urination..its old history.. ive done it all before.. real resolution means getting me to the point i don't need diapers ever. Anything short of that is unacceptable. So, for me, its either diapers or underwear..continent or not.. no in between.

But, if the doc thinks he has a good shot at stopping this via this therapy..im gonna let him try... i had a good feeling when i saw the U of M urologist.. he had compassion and empathy that my other urologists did not have. I have heard from friends that know him that he is worth the long drive.
Sandy is right..diapers are NOT the end of the world.. and if incontience is permanent one should learn to accept it..i don't know for sure if mine is permanent yet.. we have not exhausted all possible treatments.

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II