www.incontinentsupport.org

Something has occurred to me recently.. I just saw an "Enablex" ad. It said it will REDUCE leaks and accidents. It will not eliminate them. I came to the realization that despite the fact i do urinate in the toilet, i am incontinent. Making it to the toilet every time wouldn't make me continent, because i'd still be going very frequently. What I realize now, is i have to manage the incontinence. I still hold out hope for a cure, thats why im going to keep trying to use the toilet.. But, if theres no hope of continence at all.. then thats it..

But, the reality is, i am managing loss of bladder control.. i don't gain control by urinating in the toilet frequently, i simply manage the problem.

It took me a while to realize that. My control does resemble that of a toddler.. and it will probably get worse.

It comes down to a question of "what is control?" What is contienence anyway? wearing underwear and being on a timed toileting program? That still isn't normal.
I think more and more the question is not "How do i become continent again?" Rather, it is "How do i deal with the incontinence that i cannot change?"

This is probably no earth shattering revalaiton, but it just recently hit me how little control i really have..almost next to none. The control i do have is sometimes able to pee in the toilet when i drop everything and use the loo.. or watch my fluids.. or do this or do that..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

Great observation. I never really thought of it like that. When I did timed voiding and pullups as backup I felt continent for a few months until I think all it did was reduce my bladder capacity and accidents in the pullup became common again. But you are correct that I was never really continent. Normal people are able to wait for the urge before going to the toilet. Going to the bathroom 10 times a day is not real continence. Neither is using drugs to reduce the need for absorbent products unless it can really cure you 100% which is rare. Unfortunately some medical professionals think it is cure if you only have one accident a month and you should just deal with it and not wear protection. They apparently never had a public accident.