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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2021 4:55 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I don't want to over dramatize this but I had the weirdest feeling of dread/shame/depression this morning. But before all that, my wife found an extra hanging set of shelves that are normally used for shoes etc. (similar to the attached image). It has a velcro attachment for the top rod in your closet and this particular shelving is about 8 inches wide. She suggested that it would be more discrete than having my bags of "product" on the bedroom floor, since our room is on the way to the bathroom on the main floor. So I agreed to put it to use.

After moving my suits and ties upstairs, which only get worn for weddings and funerals these days, I emptied my bags of "product" into the shelving (in the wardrobe). After the shelving was populated, I stared with a feeling of disbelief. The reality of my incontinence is becoming so real. With this pandemic, we've not been in close contact with our friends and relatives. This isolation made it easier to ease into this abnormal new way of living with diapers. But staring at all the "product" in these shelves reminded me of how real my need for diapers has become. It is such a weird and mixed feeling. I don't know how else to describe it.

I really don't know what to make of this other than the fact that life will go on. When you've been continent your entire life with perhaps 2-3 bed wettings as a child and then forced into diapers in your sunset years, it just seems so absurd. I know a lot of folks in this forum have it much worse, so forgive me for complaining.


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2021 5:27 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:40 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Newmarket Ontario
I still react with panic and fear if my wife announces someone is coming over and to please make sure none of my garb is hanging around or out in plain site. One day I will have to have someone build me a new closet just to contain the accumulation of supplies.
It is what it is. It is the stuff that helps me live a better quality of life . Just the same as all the different daily medications ( ten of them ) the walker the canes , the bed rails , super transfer bed pole, raised toilet seat , grab bars , folding shower seat and soon to be approved stair lift . I am grateful for all of it.

Paul Henry


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2021 5:31 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
The depression that incontinence causes can be very debilitating. Incontinence can be a slap in the ego. If there is a silver lining here, it is that there are so many of us, literally hundreds of millions of us planet-wide.


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2021 3:26 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:44 pm
Posts: 447
Location: Seattle area
Often, it's not our sunset years. My problems began in my 40s, for others it has been a lifetime. For me, the best way to deal with IC is to just think of diapers the same way I view my glasses.

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- Tom


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PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2021 11:33 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2018 4:52 pm
Posts: 265
Location: Central Texas, USA
I’m in my early 40’s and have been incontinent all of my life. I just realized though that I’m one of the fortunate ones in that I don’t wear glasses!!! :)
Really though, MUCH worse things could inflict any of us. When I get depressed, I try to remember that.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 8:35 am 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Yes, Ellyn, you are fortunate for no glasses. :lol:
Quote:
If there is a silver lining here, it is that there are so many of us, literally hundreds of millions of us planet-wide.
I read somewhere that there are 32 million IC in the USA (which probably doesn't include unreported ones). This figure astounds me when I think of the population of Canada is about 37 million! That would be 86%.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 3:21 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:03 pm
Posts: 167
Ellyn wrote:
I’m in my early 40’s and have been incontinent all of my life. I just realized though that I’m one of the fortunate ones in that I don’t wear glasses!!! :)
Really though, MUCH worse things could inflict any of us. When I get depressed, I try to remember that.



So true, that. Perspective.


Last edited by john1050 on Wed Nov 17, 2021 10:48 pm, edited 4 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 4:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
May I jump in here? After years of smiling at me and patting me on my back, my cardiologist decided I needed a cardiac catheterization, which was done on Nov. 4. No big deal. However, the anesthesia was another story altogether. My brain refused to create a 3D whole out of the two 2D images each eye sent. Nothing was where my eyes told me it was, table ware, bath towels, and, yes, diapers and diaper pins. I staggered and fell for no reason other than that the surface under my feet was not where I thought it was. Though not painful, it did complicate incontinence management. My eyesight is slowly returning to normal, but I am the worse for wear. I do love and respect body parts when they behave themselves; when they don't, not so much.


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PostPosted: Tue Nov 16, 2021 8:16 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Very sorry to hear that Patrick! Any fall is serious stuff in our "sunset years". And eyesight is important too. I do hope that you're on a quick route to being mended.


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PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2021 9:32 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Wayne, I have the same shoe storage rack hanging in my closet. That is a great idea for diaper storage. :D

And Paul Henry has hit a point that many of us share about our spouses asking us to "put things out of sight" when company is coming over. Normally I store diapers, etc. openly in my bedroom and closet. My wife still asks me to remove the more obvious things from direct view. However, I do not take this to extremes. If someone decides to walk into my bedroom and look around, they will see shelves with diapers. I just don't flaunt it.

I agree with WetDad but just consider my diapers to be my underwear. I wouldn't flaunt my underwear in front of strangers and treat my diapers the same.

Re depression, we all need to be on guard against that as it touches all of us from time to time. I try to be very thankful for what I have. As I have said before, "Be thankful for your diapers. Think how much worse it would be without them."

--John
(double incontinent)


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