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 Post subject: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2021 1:45 pm 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I am worried. If it were not for the incontinence, I'd be very much looking forward to our work weekend island retreat coming up. I almost declined. As long as there is no boating planned, I can get by in the daytime with my underwear because there are places to wiz all over this small island. But if I end up on a boat, then I need my protection. Because of an embarrassing urinary issue, I can't just whip it out and wiz into the lake. There will be about 4 others attending.

Then there is overnight. It gets very cold overnight meaning that I won't leave the sleeping bag and fumble in the dark to relieve myself. But I won't be able to last until morning. So do I wear the Forsites that I've not used yet to get me through the night? Then again those are so noisy. I have other briefs but they're less absorbent. Maybe I need a package of MegaMax. I don't know yet whether there is a suitable place to change and what to do about the diaper trash. Diapers complicate an otherwise simple retreat. Or do I just out myself up front and end the worries?

I could keep the used diapers in sealed freezer bags and store them in a garbage bag of my travel bag. I have discovered that they store well, confining the smell until a more convenient disposal. I just have to make it through a weekend.

I am going to lose some sleep over this.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2021 7:55 pm 
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If you have time between now and your retreat, you might consider doing a dry run rehearsal at home, todecide what will work under the circumstances you anticipate. Good luck, and report back. Your insights will be useful for others in similar circumstances.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Fri Aug 13, 2021 10:57 pm 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Thanks Patrick. I mainly need to know if there will be privacy for changing, or whether the unfinished cabin is all one room. If I can get changing privacy a lot of my worries diminish. I'm told there is an outdoor shower where I could change but I don't want to draw attention. I just realized that there probably is an outhouse. I guess I really need to ask some more questions.

Update:

After giving it a lot of thought, I have decided to order the Tie-Dye MegaMax for my overnight protection. Why take chances with leaking? I plan to sleep in my jeans (inside the sleeping bag) so I can ill afford to leak. I also know that the MegaMax is quiet enough for the job. There is also the 6.5 hour drive up to the island (with stops). A brief would be easier to change in a rest-station washroom.

I haven't tested the MegaMax in bed. Has anyone had issues with these leaking for overnight use?


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2021 4:46 pm 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Saga update: It sounds like the island retreat (way up north) is "official". I bought the MegaMax (Tie-Dye) but have decided not to bring them because they would make too much noise putting it on in the washroom (there is a flush toilet bathroom in the cabin), even though I know that they are quiet enough once worn. The only other way to get one on is to disappear into the woods and hope that nobody follows. :lol:

This week I tried an alternative experiment. I wore a Molicare Mobile pull-up to bed with plastic pants cover for an overnight "wet run". To make it less prone to leaking, I put a NS booster cross-ways at the pull-up waist line (I thought this was original until I read it in this forum). Anyway, this worked well until about 5 am when I pushed things too far. At that point the saturated waist line booster leaked as well as through the leg openings when I briefly lied on my side. I got overconfident.

If I don't push it too far, that should get me through to morning. OTOH, I may just bite the bullet and just get up in the night and use the toilet. It all depends on the overnight temperatures and how much changing privacy there is in the cabin's bathroom.

I am planning now how to get there and back in the car with 3 other guys. We'll likely make 2 rest stops each way (I won't be driving). I am thinking about how best to do my diaper changes en route. Perhaps a small travel bag for toothbrushes etc., large enough to carry two pull-ups. Then all I need to do is to bring one diaper wrapped in a grocery bag with me to the washroom. The bag will then be reused for disposal in the washroom. Alternatively, just bring the whole (tooth brush sized) travel bag with me (safer). It needs to be small enough that I don't have to store it in the trunk.

In preparing for this trip, my wife has been supportive. In my own worrying I told her that I don't want my IC to prevent me from "living". Not to disagree, she did counter that I might have to change the "way" that I live. While that's not wrong, I would rather err on the side of "living" and taking risks than being safe and wishing I had gone. I'm definitely more of a risk taker than she is.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Sat Aug 21, 2021 8:06 am 
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I have read recently that the CDC (USA) estimates that there may be as many as 33,000,000 incontinent folks in the USA currently. Its Australian counterpart estimates that, planet-wide, as many as 33% of folks will experience incontinence during the course of their lives. To quote my mother, incontinents are as common as dirt. Your preparations for your upcoming retreat, repeated countless times, will contribute to the relaxation of society's mores about incontinence. Bravo, and keep us informed.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2021 1:57 pm 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Wow, that is a huge percentage!

A good development in this preparation is that it has actively engaged my wife in the challenges. Deciding what to bring and how to manage my IC on the way and back. When she started to consider the logistics of my changing in a rest station on the way up, she didn't like the idea that I would have to take my pants off to change a pull-up. The floor might be a mess etc. and no hooks for hanging. That allowed me to mention that some wear briefs so that they would not need to remove the pants. The light bulb went on and then she said that I might have to consider wearing briefs. :idea: Had I just told her that earlier, it wouldn't have registered with the same effect.

I don't have much time left, so I decided to test out a MegaMax brief this Sunday afternoon. So far she hasn't noticed that even though these jeans have a fairly tight profile. I wore them out to the drug store and even though these feel quite bulky, they otherwise seemed ok without eliciting any stares. They are surprisingly quiet considering the plastic. I am trying to find out if I can handle these for 6+ hours for the trip up there. The MegaMax would spare me of all the logistics of changing beyond needing to fake needing to use the facilities.

Then the MegaMax could also be used overnight, if I dared. I suspect there will be time at night when everyone is around the fire pit allowing a private change in the bathroom (in the cabin). I will just play that by ear. It's just for comfort anyway as I can still get up in the night like I usually do. It's just that when its real cold overnight, nobody wants to leave the sleeping bag.

The unresolved question is that while the Mrs has accepted the need for briefs, will she accept the need for Tie-Dye MegaMax briefs. :lol: I think she will, as that will solve the the problem of trips to and from. I will find out later when I start packing.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 10:15 am 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Well, I managed to survive!

This was a huge challenge for me. The MegaMax got me up there and got me home without having to change during the drive. But I had to fake needing to go at rest stops to avoid suspicion. At one stop I went into a stall until the others had left and came out and just washed my hands. At another where there was just a single bathroom, so I just washed my hands and came out again.

The flush toilet at the island turned out to be an outhouse with a flush toilet in it. But there was no front to the outhouse and thus no door. It faced away from the cabin towards the lake. For a continent person, this is no a big deal. But removing the MegaMax or changing pull-ups, made this a frightening experience. I was an early riser, so most of my business happened before the others got up in the morning. Upon arrival, I made it known that I needed to take a dump and managed to get the privacy needed to remove the soggy MegaMax and into my regular pull-up. Nerve wracking minutes!

The remainder of the time up there, I was scheming about how to get my MegaMax on before the trip home. But history showed that I was the only early riser, so I got up early, used the toilet a couple of times and then taped on the MegaMax. No boats went by. The only problem was that we were not leaving until noon, so I avoided drinking fluids until we were almost home. Even so, it was a soggier trip home than the trip up.

Because my diet was thrown off with oily BBQ'd steaks and sausages etc, I ended up with diarrhea issues in the night. My balance is not that good and I had trouble in the night navigating the uneven ground to get to the outhouse. I also kept tripping over roots. On two nights I diarrhea leaked somewhat into the diaper getting to the outhouse, which was unpleasant. I had to throw some toilet paper in there until I could change in the morning.

The freezer bags for storing the used diaper worked ok. I worked real hard to avoid having accidents in the pull-ups because that would add to the number of used diapers I had to store. By the last day, even though I put the freezer bags inside a kitchen catcher bag, I could start to smell it.

I didn't do any swimming like the others but I was ok with that. I did walk in the water a few times. Overall, I very much enjoyed my time there.

There were many lessons learned:
  • Ask more questions about the facilities before you go (don't assume)
  • Watch your diet (especially oily foods)
  • Don't skip your regular protection (I was temped to because any bush or tree would do). But don't forget about diarrhea.
  • Leave extra room in your bag for the stored used diapers
  • Develop backup plans
  • Bring a little extra meds+protection (we ended up staying one more day)

The island had a wooded area, so I was prepared to go out there if necessary to put the MegaMax on. That is a last resort in my books because leaning against a tree will likely result in bark falling into your diaper. That would make it a very uncomfortable trip home!


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2021 3:25 pm 
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Thanks for your debrief report, and kudos for your thoughtful preparation and your successful trip. As for the diarrhea, your tale of oily foods is all too familiar. Although I'm glad for protection when I need it, needing it at all can be the pits. Again, thank you.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2021 9:05 am 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Thanks Patrick for the kind words. I had originally planned on making the trip with washroom changes along the way. I am so glad that I went with the MegaMax instead. It just wouldn't have worked unless I had coordinated the stops with the drivers.

This was a daring adventure for me. I was willing to be outed if necessary but was glad it was unnecessary. I'm not sure about next year. I have some time to think about it. :shock:


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2022 11:11 pm 
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Well... the work retreat may be on again later this summer for 2022. When asked recently I started to decline but left the possibility open. My health has degraded since last year and I now wear a diaper overnight. So I may have to be more open about my "issues" if I decide to go again. Ug. Being open does mean it will be easier to dispose of my used diapers in the community garbage bag.

Part of me says go and not worry about the consequences. I know more about the experience this time and have time to do some planning. I'll be travelling with a few other guys up to the cabin in the car, an all day journey. My wife reminded me that I am 65 and that it's not unusually for men my age to have these kinds of "issues". She was encouraging me to go.

What I fear most is F-IC. Last year with the exception of one small accident from eating oily BBQed food, I was able to get by during the day in a pull-up. But lately I have been more careful to avoid fecal surprises when going out, since the threats have been there when at home. So this time I expect that I will need to diaper up for the day for boat rides and hikes. Can I resist the coffee in the morning? We'll see. I need to plan the food I eat this time. Oily BBQed food will do me in this time around.

I really need to invest in some suitable cargo pants so that I can be more casual while being protected. I should probably also invest in a small backpack so that I can bring some cleanup supplies if it becomes necessary on a hike.

I need to try wearing men's briefs over the NS Supreme Lites + plastic pants. While the Abena fixing pants work great, I feel a bit confined as if they are too tight. Perhaps I might try a large fixing pant to see if that helps. I hate planning.

Comments and suggestions welcome.


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