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Support for dealing with incontinence
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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 6:49 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
Hopefully, the skill and experience you gained from your successful jaunt last year will be useful this year as well. As for "coming out" about your incontinence, you will be among other males, who all have prostates, and may eventually find themselves coping with incontinence. If you can ease their journey to acceptance, you will have made a major contribution to their well-being. Good luck, and report back when you can. We need tales of success, such as yours.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Wed Jul 13, 2022 7:11 am 
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Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2013 3:45 pm
Posts: 1943
Location: North Carolina - Raleigh area
Wayne, you have mentioned possibilities you should check out. I would encourage you to begin that process now. Experiment with all the new things you mentioned while safely at home where, if things go badly, the consequences are not so severe. Then you will be less stressed during your retreat.

--John
(double incontinent)


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2023 10:09 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2023 4:14 pm
Posts: 13
If you plan to tell your work mates about this you could begin by talking about your father, an uncle, a grandfather (or other 'older' fictitious relative) who had the issues you have to gauge their reaction. They may talk about their father's or uncle's prostate issues, IBS issues, etc. which can break the ice. I am in my early 60s and my motto is 'whatever works' (within reason). One person in my former office had Chron's disease. Another one had given birth to 4 large infants and by her 50s she was wearing adult diapers 24/7 due to drip type urinary leakage and had surgery to help it but it continued somewhat. This was not even stress or urge incontinence but more like a dripping faucet. Another one has a husband (in his 50s) with treated prostate cancer in remission who has to wear a pull up while running a business.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2023 9:55 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
It turned out that I didn't go this year due to various other circumstances. I may need to face this again in late summer if the opportunity affords it.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Sun Aug 06, 2023 5:54 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Well, it's 2023 and I reluctantly agreed to go up to the cabin again this summer. It is a wonderful get away but this visit challenges me. I found out thatt it's for 10 days! I have no idea what the local drug stores carry up there, if anything. Not much, judging by the local grocery store.

So my travel bag is stuffed full of overnight diapers and daytime pull-ups (I am afraid of diarrhea being on a different diet while there). I've left the diapers in their original packages so that they're extra compressed for the trip up there. Most of the bulk of my luggage is for IC supplies!

I also included three pairs of plastic pants for the overnight TENA Supers. I'll end up having to wash them every 2-3 days, which means hanging them up somewhere on the island. I'm going to have to own my IC problems this time.

Again, there is no door on the outhouse. My ace is the fact that I am usually up first in the morning. There will be a lot of smelly garbage bags to take back to the mainland on our way out.

I'm both excited for the adventure and apprehensive.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Mon Aug 07, 2023 7:51 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
Our supermarket carries spray deodorant which, if it works, might be useful for the trip home. Keep us informed.


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 Post subject: Re: Island Work Retreat
PostPosted: Wed Aug 23, 2023 11:23 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Well, I survived! And no reveal was required. However, no matter how well you plan, things do go awry! Murphy was travelling with us.

To stay anonymous, I'll just summarize some of the details. We had car trouble on the way up. That added hours to my MegaMax, which thankfully held on the trip up. Going home was worse. There were more complications getting the car fixed and then stuck in stopped traffic for two hours once we got underway. That meant my MegaMax had to last from 6:30 to 1 am. However, the clock really started about 8:30 when I had to give up the tea I had for breakfast.

On the way home, there was a moment when I got back into the car where people complained about a smell. In the end, the dog that was travelling with us got blamed (thankfully). I am still not sure if it was the dog or myself. As a precaution, I laid my flannel jacket across my lap to keep the diaper from breathing out stale pee smells as the car travelled over bumps.

At the cabin, I was the last to bed and the first to rise. I would take my laptop bag and PJ bottoms with me to the outhouse to change (note: there is no door on the outhouse, which faces the lake). It was important to preload my laptop bag with everything I needed else face the consequence of having to go back to get items again, which might cause questions.

In the morning, I would wipe the plastic pants out since I was not going to wash and hang them at the island. This made them good for a few more days than normal. But I also had a few extras in the bag. One night I actually woke up totally dry, so I saved that diaper for the next night. This eventually paid off, since the stay unexpectaedly was extended a few more days than planned due to car issues.

The original stay was planned to be 10 days. It ended up being 14. I had brought extra medication and a few extra diapers and pull-ups for day use. I barely had enough protection for 14 days. The lesson there is to always bring more than you think you need.

Packing was a big issue. About 60% of my bag was filled with diapers/pull-ups. That left less room for the clothing and other items. In hind sight, I could have brought fewer T-shirts since when you're roughing it you tend to keep to your current shirt until you swim/wash.

I wore pull-ups during the day since my eating was off my normal diet. We kept having sausages and other oily meals. I finally suggested we take a break in the sausages for lunch due to the effects of the oils on my digestive tract. That went well. Despite that, I had two very close calls for F-IC. But both times I was able to make it to the outhouse ok. Had we been on the boat or beach, it could have been worse. Pull-ups are really not the best for F-IC, but I considered them to be a compromise in convenience and protection.

Garbage was a concern. The host kept the garbage bag inside the cabin, which doesn't work for used overnight diapers. So I kept starting a bag outside as needed and it naturally got used out of convenience by the others when we were outside. I used kitchen catcher bags to dispose of my protection and tied them up. I would place them carefully at the bottom of the outdoor garbage bag. With the other garbage added to the bag, there was no curiosity involved.

One day we had planned to go swimming to freshen up. I traded my pull-up for my swim shorts which thankfully turned out ok. I did urge once in the lake. But then I expect that the others produced their own "warm spots" out of convenience also.

So all in all, the trip was a successful if not exhausting. The host may have been somewhat aware of my issue but nothing was ever said. The other guy slept upstairs in the cabin. This made it easier to pick times to change in the outhouse (knowing where everyone is, is key to using an outhouse without a door). It felt weird to be changing into/out of your diaper in front of the water. But in the morning you can see if any kayaks are present. Motor boats announce their own presence.

My advice is to avoid travelling to remote areas in a foreign car where parts/service are unobtainum. Other than that, I did enjoy the time there and did not allow incontinence to deny me that.


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