I am glad you found us and welcome! Post away with questions. Don't let the current calm discourage either. I had lots of questions when I started out myself, last year.
You didn't indicate what type of protection you use. There are several options today. I have urgent bladder incontinence myself, from years of diabetes. I use pull-ups by day so that if I have an accident, it doesn't cause embarrassment. It can happen in so many situations, long phone calls, long meetings, waiting too long at a lunchtime drive thru etc. So you must be prepared for that. In your situation, it sounds like it comes up frequently.
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So I want to ask, does this get easier?
Yes, it does get easier provided you use good enough protection. It is best to over protect in the beginning until you can test and trust lower cost options. It does take some time and experimentation to find that point and everyone tends to be different.
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I see a lot of talk about diapers leaking and I have had a leak or two already, though not at work yet. Do you learn to trust the diaper for the most part? Is it just a matter of finding the right diaper that works 99.9% of the time?
Yes, it's mostly about trust. In the beginning you might be tempted to use drug store products that are simply underwhelming in their protection capability. Better products can be found at online stores that specialize in incontinence products.
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Do you get used to peeing your diaper or other protection in front of co-workers?
If your protection is adequate, they should not be the wiser. Some folks have to practice avoiding the "pee face" while that is going on. In my case, I tend to go when I am standing still, often in front of a checkout clerks, bank teller or similar. You just let it happen while not making it you're look like you're concentrating. I've had a lot of practice it seems.
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Do you feel humiliated for intentionally letting go, even though you realize if you waited a minute longer you wouldn't be able to control it anymore anyway?
I found that if I suppressed it, it would only come back again in a few minutes, more urgent than before (sometimes with increasing levels of pain). In other words, "resistance is futile"! So as long as you trust your protection, it is best to just "let it flow" rather than to keep revisiting that urge and potential pain. The only time I feel humiliated is when (at home) I have to do that "walk of shame", taking my grocery bag containing the wet diaper out to the garbage cans in our backyard.
If you've been continent your entire life up until now, it does seem a very strange way to live all of a sudden (a twilight zone?) Eventually, you slowly come to accept it. You may have some periods of depression because you want to return to what you were before. I also had to work through my wife's own acceptance but with time, she mostly does. Without this site, it can be difficult to navigate because your better half may not want to discuss it or not have the same understanding of what you're going through. But this site has a number of folks that endure much more than I do and provide helpful advice.
Finally, be sure to work with your doctor to arrive at the reasons for your incontinence. Mine was due to nerve damage because of years of higher than normal glucose levels. But there are many other possible causes, including spinal injuries. Many go years without realizing they have diabetes for example. So be sure to follow up with the doc. Good luck with your new journey.