www.incontinentsupport.org

Support for dealing with incontinence
It is currently Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:37 pm

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
Author Message
 Post subject: I hate wearing diapers..
PostPosted: Sat Oct 25, 2008 7:19 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:33 pm
Posts: 417
Location: MI
It seems ive reached a "low" point. Last night, as i sat, on a whim i looked at what i was wearing underneath my pants.. seeing a white disposable diaper covered by plastic pants, i started getting sad, mad, and depressed. I dont know why, i just did. It hit me that im no longer in control of my body, at least elimination. I wear diapers because sometimes my bladder empties what it wants when it wants. :( I hate this. I feel so babyish. And yet, i know if i didnt wear diapers, i would probably end up with wet underwar and more than likely wet pants. I still havent given up toilet use. If i did give up the toilet, how many diapers would i go through? ive been doing dry diaper wear with the kendalls. Using diapers 24/7 would most likely require a different solution. My control i think is worsening, partly due to sometimes not using the toilet. I can't say for sure.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 6:17 am 
Offline
moderator

Joined: Fri Oct 22, 2004 4:42 am
Posts: 471
Location: New England
I certainly can empathize with you, as I look back to when I was about your age and in college. Incontinent from birth and growing up in cloth diapers and rubber pants was tough....there weren't any disposable diapers in those days! I hated diapers and I hated that I couldn't control my wetting "worth a damn!" but I went for the challenge and ditched the diapers!

I'd wear paper towels in my underpants and rubber pants over that. Timed toileting is the art of carefully watching what you drink, when you drink it and when you can expect it will void. The system is not too bad if you get good at it. It got me thru a lot of situations, including military service that was important to me and the family who were otherwise rather disappointed in a son that couldn't control his wetting.

However, failures with the system do mean leaks and they varied, ofcourse, from relatively minor ones that I could cover up to major wet pants and furniture that I couldn't conceal. For awhile I just felt I needed to try harder to manage the input and the timing and be on the toilet at the "right" time. This meant spending an inordinate amount of time on the toilet waiting for an anticipated void.

The "relief" at being out of cumbersome (and humiliating) diapers and enjoying the pleasure of wearing (nearly) normal underpants....I had even gotten away from rubber pants, having sewn in a plastic panel over the crotch section of cotton jocky shorts....was wonderful, or so I thought for awhile.

Then one day I came to realize how much I was missing in life. Things I was avoiding because I had to have a bathroom lined up and available both at a specific time and for a longish period of time. A toilet was essential as it didn't work well with a urinal at all. You need to be sitting down and go into a total relaxation mode to get the bladder to let go when you lack direct control.....and it took time.....as in 5 to 10 minutes which is extrodinary when most go to the toilet and are in and out in two minutes.

So, as ugly as the thought was, I looked into incontinence garments available in the 70's and they were mostly pad and pants systems with a cloth pad of some sort inserted into waterproof pants that pulled on like underpants. My life still wasn't my own and I grew tired of the constant hassle of juggling fluid intake with watching the watch. As my resolve faded a bit, so did any success timed toileting was achieving and wet pants became more freqent with the inadequate pad and pants system.

That led to "taking a break" on week ends and I pinned on a cloth diaper and pulled on plastic pants and found I could literally foget about incontinence and drink what I wanted, when I wanted and go anyplace anytime, including the movies!

I decided I "loved" the idea of not being slave to incontinence, so I "loved" what the hated diapers did for me and allowed me to do...which is anything I want, whenever I want. So that was the turning point and it's been diapers ever since. Call it acceptance, I suppose. After I made a real effort at managing my life without diapers and seeing how difficult that was, I suppose that played a major role in accepting diapers as the solution to an unreliable bladder that was running my life and let me take control of both my bladder and my life once again.

You are at a point where you don't want to give up using the toilet as much as you can, but need diapers to stay reliably dry. So what's wrong with that? Not a thing! And not making it to the toilet is to be expected and not something to blame on yourself. Allowing the diaper to spare you the embarassment of wet pants is, in my opinion, proper management of your problem.

Think about this: we would be abnormal to go around in public wetting ourselves and furniture....that just isn't normal! We chose to wear a diaper which allows us to be normal, in that we go around in public now and do NOT wet ourselves or the furniture because we have taken the step of wearing protection to prevent that....now that's being "normal"!

I wish you the best in sorting out your feelings in dealing with incon and diapers! Keep posting; let us know how you are doing as you go thru this struggle.

JoeK


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 8:19 am 
Offline
moderator

Joined: Thu Dec 09, 2004 1:04 pm
Posts: 686
Location: Tennessee
Thanks Joe,
I agree with all you said and it was right on the mark!

Sociologygeek, take Joe's advise. Don't let it get you down. There are so many people who have it a lot worse than we do. Good Luck! ....Paul Martin


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:21 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:47 pm
Posts: 406
I've said this before .........don't be a slave to the bathroom. The mental acceptance is not easy, but it is the best way for many that have urge and/or frequent episodes of incontinence. Move on with life and manage the issue. DON'T let the bladder problem manage you.

I manage the issue of incontinence by wearing diapers 24/7 and planning ahead for changes. Extended wear diapers, or booster pads can work very well when you may not be able to change for several hours. I don't worry about having an accident any more,.... or wonder if I could have made it to the bathroom in time. YOU need to do whatever works best for you. Meds work some people depending on the type of incontinece. If your able to MANAGE the bladder problem using the pull up kind of protection.....great, if not, there is NOTHING wrong with using the diaper. I echo everything JoeK said....its very true.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:02 am 
Offline

Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2008 3:04 pm
Posts: 344
Location: SLC
Wearing 24/7 is one hell of a step... no lie. It will seriously require some getting used to on your part. I think the first month or two is the worst... you have to get used to changing, keeping extra supplies with you, learning the limits of your particular brand of protection. After that, it really does become easier. It took me a while when I was younger to get to the point of wearing all the time. It feels like you are standing on the edge of a cliff... with the unknown below you. You eventually have to make that leap of faith... and you will realise that you are not falling, but that you are being lifted up to a higher place than you were before. It takes a lot of guts, and a lot of determination... but facing your fears and making the responcible, mature decision will get you on the right path.

If you don't like looking at the diaper... then don't look at it. Keep your clothes on man! There's no reason to go parading around with your pants off unless you absolutely want to. Honestly the only time I think about my diaper during the course of the day is when it needs changing... otherwise I have more important things to keep my mind on.

Yes, it is true that your bladder now has a mind of its own... but is it really that big of a deal in the overall scheme of things? There are bigger issues in this world to focus on, and once you have taken the proper steps to address your particular problem you can get back to focusing on other things.

Going with the diapered lifestyle is a commitment... and it seems to me that you know somewhere deep down that this commitment will be for the better. You just need a little encouragement and the right mindset. Don't give in to those negative feelings... don't let your undergarments slow you down. After all, we all wear them so we can focus on living our lives instead of finding the nearest bathroom all the time. Just take it one day at a time... focus on the good, and try to ignore the bad... things will get better for you in a short time.

_________________
~~PuddleGuy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 10:41 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:47 pm
Posts: 406
Puddleguy,

I can only speak for myself, but once I crossed into acceptance, everything else pretty much fell into place. Finding the right type of protection as soon as possible is very important. Once this is accomplished, you begin to have an understanding of the limits of the protection then it is just a matter getting into a routine so you know what time every day you will change. If I were to start this process again, I would start by wearing an extended wear diaper when I was away from home for most of the day and night use. Supplies.......I keep them in the trunk of the car, but only change in a public restroom in an emergency. With a "good" quality extended wear diaper there really is no reason why you would need to change most of the time when away from home for up to 8 hours or so. Just my thoughts........


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 7:46 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:33 pm
Posts: 417
Location: MI
Im no longer depressed... ive started trying just using the diaper at school... not bad, except one time i got it really wet, and it felt unconfortable. it didnt leak, but it was quite wet. Today i wore wings with tranqility boosters. I didt go completely toilet free, but i did let myself wet a few diapers. Not bad. They didn't leak.

As far as what you guys are suggesting, i agree. The only thing stopping me from giving up bladder control and just using diapers all the time is the hope that something might work with the doctor. This is the way i see it: either get me out of diapers completley, or diapers i wear and use 24/7. No middle ground. Unless i find a way to get out of diapers totally, i will do as u guys suggest, and potty untrain.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:21 pm 
Offline
moderator

Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 11:32 pm
Posts: 688
Location: Wisconsin
Just a Thought? Why don't you stop using that line about keeping your head up at the end of your posts................Sandy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Oct 30, 2008 9:48 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2008 12:33 pm
Posts: 417
Location: MI
does it offend? I went ahead and changed it. Sorry if i offended anyone with that.

_________________
"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 10:54 am 
Offline

Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 1:47 pm
Posts: 406
I have'nt given up hope that the doc's might find a way to cure my bladder problem,.... but until they do, I want to have an active life and manage my bladder problem without restrictions. Once you "dial-in" the right protection for your day needs, I think it will get easier when you can trust the protection your wearing that it doesn't leak and no one can tell you have a diaper on.

I had a doc apt. yesterday, and the first few seconds I was with the doc, I caught his eyes looking down at my crotch area. I know I'm sentsitive about showing bulk, or having a wet spot, but when I looked down to see what he was looking at I didn't see any thing wrong. I guess he was looking to see if he could tell I was wearing protection. I think being sensitive about someone seeing a wet spot, or showing bulk is in the mind of every person that wears protection. My point is,.... once you find the right combination of protection you will build trust that no one will be able to detect your wearing a diaper. Any leaks you might have during the day will be very rare so you might want to try a few different booster pads, or try an extended wear diaper. :D


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group