www.incontinentsupport.org

This is an issue for single people like me and a touchy one. I hope that someday soon I will begin dating again. In a serious realtionship it will eventually be neccessary to be open about your problem. You will have to have a plan to tell the person, and there is always the possibility that they may not want to deal with it and leave. In the beginning of the realationship, you would have to be prepared for an accident or leak on a date and how to deal with it if it happens. Some emotional situations would be if they noticed you making frequent bathrrom trips or found out early because they noticed you carrying a large bag everwhere, or saw your diapers by accident. What would you say? I wonder if it would be best to be up front about it or wait until it has progressed either way it seems risky. It may be easier if you were dating someone who shares your problem, but what are the chances of that?

This subject sure has a way of making it way around. I'll make this short and sweet If a person can't get past your Diapers and see what a wonderful person you are then they aren't worth your time. People today are so concerned with what's below a persons waist line that they forget what is really important . And that being the heart and mind of a person. My husband has often told me that from the first time he looked into my eyes he knew I was for him. Even today he says he often sees another world in me and him just by looking into my eyes It's been said that The Eyes are the Path to one's soul.................Sandy

Sandy, you did it again!
That's a great answer and the right attituide to have.
LtsofQues, Sandy is absolutely right about not to worry if your date has a problem with your diaper. That person is not worth dating any further if he can't understand.
If I were were in your shoes, I would be up front with anybody who I thought had a chance of being in a serious relationship. Sandy found her soul mate by being frank and she got herself a gem!
Yeah, it would help a lot if the other mate had a problem similar to yours, but that's not really necessary. There's somebody out there looking for you, Ltsofques. You just have to be patient. But never let incontinence keep you from enjoying life and dating! You love someone for who they are, not what they wear. .........Paul

LtsofQues

I know just what you are going through. ':('
Its not fun to be alone all the time but at the same time its hard to go out and think about getting a date. Its a lot easier just to stay home, where its safe, and just watch movies. On top of that there is the fact that a lot of relationships just dont last long anymore and we dont want to have that happen again. Its too hard to be turned down over and over again just because we are disabled, incontinent and in diapers again. ':cry:'

This is good advice. I don't think I'm ready for that yet, but rejection is a part of dating anyway. On the positive side if a significant other is still interested despite your problem, then it rally lets you know who they are. Each new thing with this problem is a challenge, and dating is a big one.

LtsofQues,
That's the right attitude to have! If you find someone who can accept their date has to wear a diaper, then you're on your way. Then you can check out the other's personallity and so forth. .............Paul Martin

I guess that's just the way it has to be.

Then again you can seek like people. I have recently been going to an incontinence group at the local hospital. Trying to find a "cure" and also finding it more comfortable to be with others who understand and are dealing with the same problem. Met a younger woman (46 to my 56) who was overly shy to begin with but has started to open up some. Actually asked me to go for a drink after the session but was in a cloth diaper since I ususaly am only gone for a few hours. was affraid it would not last.

Hey Papa,
Keep us up to date at this session group. Sounds like a great ideal! It would be nice for someone to meet another in this type situation. Maybe there are more groups like this, but no one knows about them.
How did you become aware of this group? ................Paul Martin

The best place to start is search the net - then search your local hospitals. Search under incon first but then if nothing appears try Prostate cancer which will always address inco since it is a normal side affect. Seek and yee shall find! (most of the time)
Papa