www.incontinentsupport.org

For me dating is completely out of the question. I'm diapered 24/7 and unless I happen to run into "Ms. Doesn't Mind a Diapered Man" my dating days are over. I was married for 13 years, got divorced and have been single for 16 years now. Had I become incontinent when I was married my wife never would have been able to deal with it. I know I should never say never but I'm not holding out any hope. If anyone knows of any understanding single 50ish women out there please put in a good word for me.

Hi Welcome to the board. DDS Don't give up there has to be someone out there for you. I know there are dating sites for the AB/DL crowd (NOT THAT I GO THERE!) but you would like to think there would be one for us. Maybe someone should start one any volunteers

For years I've been totally against any thought of the AB/DL crowd but in recent history I've been re thinking that Look I still have troubles thinking someone would get off on a person like me because I'm incontinent that is twisted. But hey these people are the most likely ones to except a person with our condition. So why then do we or maybe better said should we be so quick to shun these people. Granted if they are going to get perverted with you right off the bat then yes I'd avoid them like the plague. but if you can find those who are able to be respectful. Why not talk to them.

One of our members claims to have a AB/DL wife or girlfriend? and seems very happy.

I'm going to throw this out here. I know I've spoke before on this. But I feel one of the big problems today is people mistake lust for love. And when they start to date a person they jump right into sex. Rather then waiting till marriage. I never had sex with my husband till we were married. My advice if your dealing with incontinence keep it to yourself if you can. If your dating someone what says they have to know right away. Get to know them first without sex. Maybe I'm dreaming here but it worked for me. I was with my now husband for sometime before he knew I was incontinent. By the time he found out he was already in love with me so incontinence didn't matter. I was his no matter what

.............Sandy

Sandy has something here.
I have only these comments. If it's truely love you are looking for in your partner, incontinece will not matter. If it does matter to the other, then it's not true love! .....Paul Martin

Thanks for the encouraging words. Who knows, maybe someday. Part of my problem is I don't do a great deal of socializing for obvious reasons. I'm not a bar person as I don't drink alcohol. I go to work, to the grocery store and to church. My work calls for me to travel and meet with people but it is business, not an opportunity for personal socializing. I spend some time with friends in the great outdoors but because of my lack of control I have to limit how much time I am able to spend with friends. A couple of my closest friends are aware of my situation and they are very understanding but I feel that sometimes they pitty me which I hate. The remainder of my time is spent at home with my youngest daughter who will soon turn 17. I have 4 children 3 of which are adults and they all lived with me after the divorce. I'm down to one at home now and in a year and a half I'll be home alone. My children obviously know about my incontinence and are very supportive although it is seldom discussed which is how I want it. Although I know it is just another one of life's challenges and I shouldn't be ashamed of being incontinent I still like to keep it all under wraps as much as possible. You know the old out of sight out of mind thing.

Okay, so I don't want to pick a fight here but I'm going to have to disagree with this statement.

"Nowadays" 20 and 30-something men and women who are single DO go out and meet other men and women and sex is part of that equation. The whole idea of old-fashioned "love is all that matters" isn't true anymore and I don't believe that makes a relationship any less valid or weaker than a couple who managed celibacy before marriage.

Granted, I come from a community of individuals where sex can be extremely casual in certain crowds. I've ran into AB/DLs in that community and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this board's quick-to-demonize nature... if you read the diaper primer on this site it talks about how the existence of ABDLs has improved what is available for those of us with real incontinence problems.

But anyway, I feel as if there is a point that everyone is missing: while finding someone to be comfortable with your diapered state all of the time is pretty hard, but if you're in your mid-twenties and it's impossible to feel confident in taking your clothes off in front of someone, that to me is the biggest issue with finding a partner. Sex is important to my generation and I think there is a huge level of embarrassment for young incontinent adults because of it.

Just my 2 cents!

Well here's your change for the 2 cents
It has been proven time and time again that couples who refrain from sex before marriage have a much lower divorce rate? Gods word tells us not to do it before Marriage If the creator says that well then there must be something to it. You state Your Generation? Sex before Marriage was popular in my generation also. And to be honest Everyone that I grew up with that had sex before marriage has been divorced at least once. (Wow I never really thought about that) Now a days Divorces are at higher numbers then ever before? So now how is this sex before marriage a good thing? My friend Jane is in the middle of a divorce and guess what She had sex before marriage? Yes but your right what does Gods word have to do with anything. That's just some out dated book right? Problem is we are told in the book that Gods word is never changing it's the same today as the day it was written. ..............Sandy

Some more change for your two cents

Quote:
Granted, I come from a community of individuals where sex can be extremely casual in certain crowds. I've ran into AB/DLs in that community and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this board's quick-to-demonize nature... if you read the diaper primer on this site it talks about how the existence of ABDLs has improved what is available for those of us with real incontinence problems.


You state you come from a community of individuals? I'm guessing you mean your Gay Correct?
I love how you say we demonize AB/DL's Where do we do this?? Please show me? The problem today allot people are like a bunch of little kids. As soon as someone disagrees with something they are for . They are labeled hateful

The AB/DL perversion is out there. and it can stay out there. I have become somewhat more open to those people then I use to be. But saying this I still would rather not have to have that on our Board. I've been on other incontinent boards where they have been over run by the AB/DL crowd. I don't like having my disability being used to help promote some perverts fantasy. Along with also being played with on an incontinent Board such as this by a pervert pretending to be incontinent.

So if I'm being Hateful or Demonizing by stating this GROW UP!

..........................Sandy

Back to incontinence and dating. I have met a lady who seems to have accepted me and my incontinence. Two months ago I would not have believed it was possible but things have gone extremely well for the two of us since we met. I had to inform her of my situation on our second date but my news did not seem to phase her in the least. We have a great deal in common which certainly helped but her attitude regarding my being incontinent has been nothing short of great.

DDS,
Good to hear you are having some success with this. Getting through life in our condition is such a help to have an understanding partner. Keep us advised how it goes! .......Paul Martin