www.incontinentsupport.org

Hello gee,

Your life has changed. You need to change with it. You now have a "new normal" and things will not be as they were before.

It sounds like many of your difficulties are due to your refusal to adapt to your "new normal" of incontinence. You talk about an "unacceptable lifestyle change." Gee, if you are going to adapt successfully and manage your incontinence effectively the word "unacceptable" won't cut it. I am not being insensitive here, but this is tough love. Suck it up and move on so you can get back to living life to its fullest.

You complain about your diapers but the brand you mention is not a good diaper. You cannot expect a diaper like that to perform well. There are tricks to increasing the absorbency of a cheap diaper, such as adding a booster pad. If you will read the old messages here, you will find that most of us do not buy store brand diapers. We wear higher quality diapers that we order from diaper vendors such as XP Medical. We save money by ordering diapers buy the case. Normally we do not leak. We have learned the little tricks that let us go about our lives with a lower risk of accidents.

You say that you do not want to change your style of clothing, that you wear slim pants, and that you can't fit much of a diaper underneath. That is exactly what I am talking about. You must accept that some change has to occur. In order to stay dry you need to be able to wear a more absorbent diaper under your jeans, perhaps with a booster pad. That means buying jeans a size larger than what you normally wear and, perhaps, changing your jeans style to one with a more relaxed fit.

First you need to accept the reality of your incontinence. Next you need to adapt to your new situation. Change can be difficult. We know.

Gee, I'm not being unnecessarily harsh here. All of us here have gone through what you are going through. We have felt the same emotions you are feeling now. We had to accept our incontinence and the need to change and adapt in order to manage it and then go about our lives. Some of the members here have very severe bladder and bowel incontinence. I am double incontinent - I have both problems. We have had to experiment to find what works best for us. Many of us are trying things we had never heard of before becoming incontinent. We learn from each other.

You have found a wonderful place to ask for advice, share what you have learned, and to vent your frustrations at the problems of incontinence. We all vent from time to time.

Take the time to read my paper "An Introduction to Adult Diapers, their Selection and Wear" and the longer but more thorough "New Diaper Primer" at the links below. Between those two references, you probably will be able to answer 95% of your questions.

An Introduction to Adult Diapers, their Selection and Wear
http://www.incontinentsupport.org/Intro ... iapers.pdf

The New Diaper Primer
http://www.incontinentsupport.org/primer_index.php

Remember that we are here to support each other. You never need to feel embarrassed about asking very personal questions here. We really do understand. We are here to offer comfort and reassurance as well as factual advice. I only have been seriously incontinent for about four years. Most of what I have learned I learned from other members in this forum, plus a lot of reading and experimentation.

--John

JD hit the nail on the head. We all have had to adapt and I hope you will take his advice. Your life will be so much better.

Gee,
J.D. has gave some real life advice that all here face everyday. I myself totally incontinent and its very hard to accept at first, and after facing what I have life is great. I myself carry a back pack that looks like Im going hiking for a week just to go to the store but that's what it takes so that what I do. You will adjust if you give yourself a chance too. -- Mike --

Gee

We are all here to help and support each other as we deal with incontinence issues, over time we have adapted to our new norm of having to wear protection. Once you accept the need for diapers and find the right fit managing your incontinence issues will become easier.


i think its safe to say we all started in denial mode and tried our hardest to avoid having to wear diapers , but the Reaity is that we need them to help get on with our lives.


John has given you some great advice and informative links, order some samples of premium diapers from xp medical or other closer suppliers

i use dry 24/7's and they work great and with the proper fit pants (relaxed fit one size bigger) no one will know you are wearing.

Wearing taped diapers has a learning curve when you first start to wear and you learn how to tape them properly, but it does not take to long and you can always ask for advice here.

as Mike said a backpack full of supplies is needed and trust us you will be glad you have one with you .



Life is full of changes incontinence is just one of the changes we all now have to accept and manage being diapered 24/7 hasn't changed my daily life very much I just wear absorbant underware now

hope you accept your new requirements and order proper protection and new relaxed fit pants.

Remember we are all here to help and support you

Rob

I also second this (or third, or whatever). You've got to accept your current situation, and adapt to it.

I too use confidry24/7, as a thick diaper is way less noticeable than a thin one that has leaked. Just wear loose fitting pants like the others said. I go with pleated slacks which I believe also helps make my diaper less noticeable, and always wear black which will hide any wet spots.

Gee

So sorry you find yourself here welcome to the community.

Accepting the fact that one has to wear diapers 24/7 is hard and traumatic however this will pass. Icontinence can be a game changer if you let it for too long I let it ruin my life until I relented and accepted wearing diapers. I went all in streight away and sent my regular underwear to recycling replacing them with diapers, compression/stretch briefs, waterproof briefs and terry briefs. Yes you have to plan more and take in my case a man bag everywhere with all that you need during the day. I do so wish I had talken the plunge a lot earlier in my life I now have a normal life I can go anywhere I wish and feel free without the fear of publicly wetting myself.

Do not be afraid to reach out we are all here for each other.

Greenbank

Nothing I can say that has not been said already, make the switch from pull-up underwear to a full brief/diaper, it will make your life SO much easier... it's no ones business but your own, and yes, doctors are LESS then supportive in this matter... we are here, any questions, fire away! Hoping for the best possible outcome for you, sounds like you have been thru the wringer enough already. Hang in there, we are pulling for you! Puffy

_________________
Puffy
BC, Canada
Fighting the "Bladder Battle" since 1995

thanks. my condition may in part be due to psychological issues. i am presently persuing that possibility.

Still pulling up and i've found that Tena Overnight underwear (a new product) work much better than anything else ive tried. unless i discover that there actually is a problem with them - which i haven't so far - i'll stick with them. i've had no leaks or other escaping matter and i have a place to change before being in my actual work place so the odor problem can be avoided pretty well.

But something i am wondering about is - are there some kind of snug fitting shorts/pants/or whatever that can be worn over the underwear and under pants that help to hold everything in place and sort of smooth things out so it doesn't really look like i'm wearing incontinence underwear, and while not squeezing anything out??? and if so, where to buy them?