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I just wanted to share a few stories from my incontinence that were learning curves for me - hopefully they might help anyone who is new to this condition.
The first time I had an accident (since being a child) I brushed off as 'just one of those things' - I remember it was during the opening ceremony of the 2012 olympics. A some point, I went to the toilet as per usual, did my business, and as I was washing my hands, a had a moderate urinary leakage in my pants. My wife and I put it down to maybe not having fully emptied, still urine in the pipes etc - nothing to worry about. I remember feeling slightly under the weather, so we put that down as a contributing factor.
Over that night, I wet the bed. Not majorly, but required a change of sheets in the middle of the night. After going back to bed, all was fine the next morning. Just one of the things, eh? I was feeling a bit better, so put it all down to some sort of 24 hour bug disagreeing with me.
The next day I was at work. All was completely fine, I toileted normally without any accidents. Getting home in the evening, settled down to watch some of the highlights of the olympics, and after a couple of hours, realised that my pants were wet. I made sure I didn't have anything further to drink that evening, and sat on the toilet for about half an hour before bed trying to drain anything out. As a precaution, I attempted to use one of my wife's sanitary pads to bed, in case of any accidents. I was wet again during the night - the pad soaked up some, but not being designed for this, it was obviously over-whelmed. I made the decision to go to the local Boots store to look for some sort of pull-ups to wear, in case of accidents at work, and over night.
It just so happened, they didn't have any pull-ups in my size at the time of my visit, but did have an all-in-one, tape-on nappy.
Although I was a little reluctant to go "full nappy", the thought of risking an accident at work, or continuing to disrupt my wife's night with sheet changes spurred me on. When I got to work, I popped into one of the disabled toilets and diapered myself up.
What followed was perhaps one of the most insecure days of my working life - is the back of the nappy hanging out over the waist of my trousers? Can people see the outline of my nappy? If I wet, won't people smell it? What if it leaks? AARGHH!!!
Turns out it was all fine. Got home, checked myself, and I wasn't wet. However, as my job is fairly active (working in a retail management setting, I'm on my feet 90% of the time), and this diaper was plastic backed, and it being the middle of summer, the accumulation of sweat had pretty much saturated the nappy's absorbent mat, and all the fluff was clumped together, and sagging in the crotch.
After a shower, I decided to let myself "air out" after spending the day in a sweaty plastic prison, fearing the dreaded nappy rash. I sat in my favourite chair, with a folded towel under me (just incase..)
I diapered up again before bed, this time using some talc to minimise "sweat damage". Again, I was wet in the morning, but the nappy had done it's duty. As I committed it's swollen form to the rubbish bin, and with my wife's urging, I decided it was time to visit the doctor to see what was going on.
Eventually, I got to see the GP - I explained everything, and he took a urine sample, discovering that I had some sort of infection. Although not common, it could account for the wetting episodes I'd been having. I left the doctors with a prescription for some antibiotics, and a warning to read the leaflet about 'side effects'. Sorry, make that 'backside-effects' - as explosive diarrhoea turned out to be a common side effect with this particular medication.
I salute the people who made the poor, unfortunate nappy that got the first blast, half-way through a day at work. Dear god. It held everything my bowels chucked at it, sagging so much that the nappy was almost pulling down over my hips. Luckily, I was working on my own when it happened, as was relatively close to a disabled toilet, I grabbed a roll of paper towels, and waddled myself in for a massive clean-up operation.
Now, a sensible person would have said to the boss "I'm really not well, I need to go home" - but to my wife's eternal frustration, NOT I!!! Nope, I diapered back up, and carried on with my day. Looking back, I regret it now - but I was relatively new to my management position, and I was looking to impress, so didn't want to take time off sick, when, apart from causing underwear-holocaust, I was fine in myself. Needless to say, my wife wasn't impressed with my decision, though she stuck by me and supported me. If I had an accident at home, she would always help with the clean-up, for which I am eternally grateful.
So this carried on for the course of my antibiotic treatment, which I think was 10 days. After that, it was another week or so before my body started calming down. Although I was still wetting, the diarrhoea subsided, but was replaced with occasional solid movements. I returned to the doctor and he took some more tests,concluding that I may have IBS, and everything should settle down in a couple of weeks.
Determined not to let this condition affect my life, we continued going out on day trips with our daughter, to wild-life parks, to shopping centres etc. Always with my trusty back-pack, with 5 spare nappies, nappy bags, wipes, talc, and sudo-crem concealed inside. I wasn't going to turn into a recluse because of it.
It was after slightly more than a couple more weeks that everything 'dried up' - in total, I had been wearing nappies 24/7 for almost 3 months. I was glad to be free of my plastic prisons, and things started getting back to normal.
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A good few months later, and I started wetting again. This time, I was straight back into a nappy, and straight back down the doctors. I came away with another prescription for antibiotics, and essentially went through the same ordeal as above again. This time, however, we weren't going out quite as often, staying close to home in case of a major blow-out, where I could clean up quickly and comfortably, taking a shower.
The prescription ended, and again, it was several weeks until I was dry/clean again.
On and off now since then, I have had wetting periods, where for a week or two, I might be wetting. Occasionally having bowel incontinence as well. I've been to the hospital to have flow-tests, and ultrasounds, with every test coming back A-OK. The doctors seem at a complete loss with what to do - the consensus being "manage the symptoms", which I've taken to mean, tighten your nappy and get on with it.
In the last year or so, I've also started wetting during sexual activity. Any kind of prolonged 'stimulation' causing my to urinate, despite being aroused. Whenever we're together, I usually have to be 'drained' whilst wearing a nappy first, before any further intimacy can take place.
A couple of months ago, whilst 'in the act', I suffered possibly the most humiliating moment of my life when my bowels released without warning. Once again, my wife has been a complete angel and god-send, never judging or making me feel bad for my condition.
I'm wetting at night at the moment, but have been using a different, 'breathable' nappy recently, which greatly reduces sweat and associated risk of nappy rash (Tena Slip 'Super' - under £20 for 28 nappies, which I think is brilliant as the first ones I was buying was £10 for 10 nappies.)
I hope that one day soon, I will wear my last nappy. I'll be able to go back to not worrying about unexpectedly wetting an unprotected bed.
I don't know if any of this will provide any insight, or comfort to those who may be just starting out on this drizzly adventure. If there is light at the end of the tunnel, I'll be sure to put up some sign-posts.
Jim
EDIT: And please, if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask.
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