www.incontinentsupport.org

I am new here. I have had "urinary issues" off and on for about a decade. Partially I believe I have urge incontinence (sudden,powerful, painful, irresistible) urge to go. I also think that my Diabetes has added to my urinary problems. But then again, I have always had problems with urine. I was a very late bedwetter. I have a job that puts me into close proximity with people (Massage Therapist). I have been leaking again. And it is getting worse. In a small room this is a issue due to smell and I figured it was time for some padding to fight back, and to keep my career going. About 2 weeks ago I had a talk with my wife. To my surprise, she told me that she had been waiting for me to realize this, and could smell me at home and in my clothes (I leaked more than I thought apparently). She simply could not bring herself to tell me that I needed diapers to combat my problems. I first tried pads. Not enough when facing a 90 minute massage session and I let loose. So I intend to go as far the other way as possible. heavy diapers and a cover. I have little to no chance to change during my workday. so I need something that will last me 8 hours and keep the smell to a minimum. I am now using Unique Wellness brand and they work really well. My only worry, except for the fact that I pee myself, is that I have read here and other places that given time I will become more diaper dependant. In other words,,,, it hurts trying to hold my urine. I already find myself thinking "why am I doing this, I am protected". And I stop fighting so hard. I think this will get easier to do until I go without thought. While I guess there is no difference if I am going to wet anyways, it still seems like I am a 47 YO man choosing to pee himself. Anyways, I just wanted to come on, say hi, and introduce myself. Thanks folks and it is good to know I am not alone.

Howdy DedDude and welcome to our family.

To help keep the smell down, you need to drink plenty of water.
Have you seen any doctors about it?
If nothing else, they can help rule out any infections.

Schoppy

Welcome to the forum, many of us here have varying levels of incontinence and wear varying levels of protection, from pads all the way up to cloth diapers. I agree with your choice to wear a high level of absorbency. A high performance diaper will pay for itself over and over with peace of mind and security. I'll add to what Schoopy said about drinking water. Make sure you stay hydrated or your urine will be more concentrated and it will smell more, plus it'll irritate your bladder more, potentially making your incontinence worse. Though your schedule may be tight during the day, try to make time for regular bathroom breaks, that'll extend the wear time of your diaper. Wearing a diaper that has refastenable tapes is key here. I make the bathroom all the time, I just leak after I use the bathroom, since I'm making the toilet, I don't make a habit out of using my diapers, I hate being wet. I do leak in them but dont do it voluntarily. I wear regular diapers because I like the security that they provide, I wear diapers with refastenable tapes so I can use the toilet. Just some things to think about. I'm also going about 25 times a day and leaking every time so I actually leak quite a bit, but I'm not flooding. It's always small amounts, frequently through the day.

Welcome apart from what has already been said vitamin c also helps me with my odor issues. I wear the maximum protection diapers Molicare that will allow me to have the best confidence to have a close to a normal life as one can have with urge issues. I still use the loo when I am near one however I am not its slave now or panic when I reach one and it has been shut down.

Take care you are among friends who feel the same as you.

Greenbank

Add my welcome to those above.

Although I second the recommendation to drink more water to dilute your leakage, you might add cranberry or some other juice to further acidify it. I use Nullo, and internal deodorant. Although it is primarily for GI odors, it works pretty much everywhere else.

If you have access to a handicapped restroom, you might consider experimenting with cloth diapers. Develop a list for inclusion in a gym/diaper bag. I would not travel or try to function for more than an hour without one in my car.

Good luck, and keep us informed.

I would recommend you try a few different brands of diapers. The Wellness brief is "ok", but no one of the better brands available. I recommend you try the NorthShore, Abena M4, and Dry 24/7. It just depends on your level of comfort, amount of absorbency needed, and the pros and cons of each diaper. I think many here would agree, for additional protection you should wear some type of protection over the diaper. This will do several things such as keep the diaper from sagging, provide additional leak protection, and also help to reduce odor. I like what is called the "Low Rider" vinyl pant made for wearing over disposables, and certain types of cloth diapers. These pants, and other are available from KINS aka BabyKins. There are many manufactures of "over pants" on the market, I just happen to like this particular pant because it does not have a lot of excess fluff to it causing any possible bulk issues, plus it only cost about $12. Like I said, there are many different manufactures on the market and you just need to find what works best for you.

As PB&J32 mentioned, there are varying levels of incontinence (Incon) and the need for protection can very from pads to diapers. I don't necessarily agree that cloth diapers are the most absorbent diaper you can use without leaks. I usually DO use a cloth diaper at night, but this is because I sleep on my side a lot and need more side absorbency than disposables can offer. I find using a cloth diaper and lined vinyl pants works great for night, and disposables by day with a vinyl pant makes for the perfect combination. Anyone of the three disposable diapers suggested in the above are no slouch in there own right compared to the absorbency of cloth diapers especially with the use of a vinyl over pant over the disposable diaper, or some other type of over pant as mentioned.

In my opinion, I don't know that there is a right, or wrong answer to doing what you feel is best in how you care for and manage your own incon. I DO agree, you should always try to find the cause whenever possible under the care and treatment of your PCP. Sometimes incon can be a simple cure, others times not, but how you care for, and manage your incon is a decision you need to make. For those that have a urine loss a pad may work fine and that is all that is need, and maybe even be managed by "frequent" visits to the bathroom. Others with a heavier loss my use the protection of the pull-style briefs (underwear), while others with a more severe loss require the absorbency of a full diaper. Which of these you use will always be dependent on you level of inco, and absorbency requirement. I find no fault for anyone that has urge incon and needs the protection of a diaper and chooses not to be a slave to the bathroom by managing their incon by changing the diaper as needed. Others wish to use the bathroom 25 times day, or more, and still change diaper(s). To me, there is no, right, or wrong solution here, it always come back to what YOU feel is best for YOU to find the best way to manage YOUR own incon. When your already incon, who really cares if you use the diaper when needed? Do what is best for you and don't worry about the small stuff. Stay active, don't worry about leaks, change when necessary, and move forward with life.

Just my thoughts. Hope this helps.

Hi everyone. Thanks for the welcome and advice. I would like to clarify something though. In my original post I am not speaking of using my diaper instead of the toilet when I have a chance. I am not talking about being to lazy to get out of my chair to go. I am talking about being in a situation where a spasm hits me. When that happens I have seconds to about a minute to make it to the toilet. As it is, as soon as the spasm starts I start leaking, and fighting the spasm. I have no other experience other than mine to go by, but this is extremely painful, and worse it is fruitless. My point is that I start to wonder why I am fighting, and hurting, so much when I am protected. Eventually I just can't anymore and give up and let er rip. My point is, at some point I will get so used to this that I will let er rip automatically, or even worse not realize I wet at all. There are numerous situations in my life where this will happen. During a massage (I cannot leave obviously), at school in the middle of class. Heck, if I go ahead and stop fighting the urge I can concentrate on algebra instead of not wetting. honest folks. Not some strange fetishist here. Just a giy trying to cope.

Hi DedDude - Have you discussed your incon issues with your doctor? It concerns me if you are having actual pain associated with the urges and involuntary (or otherwise) voiding. I have daytime urge incontinence with little to no time to make it to the bathroom when I have an urge, but I don't have pain. I must clarify that I'm a 64-year-old female, and I had a stroke 4 years ago, but I still think that pain would be a red flag for anyone, regardless of age and/or gender. IMHO, you should have an office visit with your primary care physician, and also a referral for a urology workup soon.

Wetters

I have an appointment next month. But in all honesty, it is the same pain I have had since I was a kid if I got to "full". Nothing unusual for me.

Hi DedDude welcome to the forum

If you are having random floodings and need some protection while out why not try Abena level 3 pullups. They will give you the protection you need if you do not make it to the bathroom intime.

If you flood when you have an accident you find the pullups leak you may want to consider a premium plastic backed diaper like the dry 24/7's while you are out and about. I know you don't want to wear and use taped diapers but for full floods they are the only product that works.

Try the pullups for now and see how they work for you, glad you are going to see an urologist next month hopefully they find the issue and can come up with a solution