www.incontinentsupport.org

Well, following a couple of urologist visits, we've discovered that I have strong bladder contractions and urges long before I should. Apparently normal is around 160 ml, and mine were around 80 ml. So now I know the cause of my incontinence problems, so that's good.

Here's the thing that I'm not sure about. The doctor gave me a whole slew of drugs. He literally came in with a small bag full of drug samples. Honestly, it felt like I had just gone to the mall! I haven't started them yet, and right now I'm thinking I might not.

Realistically, my incontinence has not had a big effect on my life, and I'm not sure that medicating it is necessary. Why put a bunch of chemicals in my body when I can effectively deal with this with by wearing different underwear? Frankly, the pads and diapers don't bother me that much.

It just made me think about the quest for perfection in our society. You can get laser surgery so your eyes are perfect and plastic surgery so you look "perfect." There are drugs to stop every kind of minor nuisance from hair loss to, well, minor incontinence. I'm not perfect. I wear glasses because my eyes aren't perfect, and I wear diapers because my bladder isn't perfect. So what!

There are plenty of people whose problems get in the way of their life, and drugs and other treatments may work for them. I don't mean to come out against that. But for me, I'll just keep my diapers on.

I was down that road years ago with the drugs and let me tell you it isn't worth it at least not for me anyway some helped some didn't. But even the ones that helped caused other problems like diarrhea upset stomach nausea. but ha I wasn't wetting as much I remember the one uroligist telling me this will more then likely cause you to have lose bowls but we have had good results in controlling the badder. I sat there looked at him and said so what your saying is I won't be wetting I'll be messing? He sat there for a moment and it was like a light suddenly came on for him DUH! I finnally after many tear filled days and other disapointments just gave up and am content to wear diapers the rest of my life. At least I feel good I can lead a more or less normal life. My husband has always been very supportive and understanding of me. The only down side that really comes to mind is I can't put on a swim suit and enjoy the sun on the beach like I did when I was a teenager but then that was a couple of decades ago anyway. ......................Sandy

Hi All I agree with all of you about taking drugs.I started accidents about 2yrs ago due to bph but the side effects of pills scared me off them.So the diaper route sounds more reasonable to me.Thanks

Yeah, at this point, ive stopped caring whether i get out of diapers or not.. sure id like to stop wearing them, and will pursue every avenue.. but, ive gotten used to using them.. though im making an effort to maintiain some control in the hopes of getting cured.. we shall see..

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"We cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love" Mother Teresa

"THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!" - Captain Picard from Chain of Command, Part II

I tried the "drugs" route several years back... what a nightmare! Pills pills pills... half of them only made me dehydrated and thirsty... and many of the others had side effects worse than the problem they were trying to fix.

Plus you have to watch out for reactions when you go mixing drugs... sometimes even taking a simple OTC painkiller or antacid can cause an unwanted and painful side effect.

While I will admit that I actually enjoy the diapers sometimes... even on my worst day I'd rather be diapered than on drugs.

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~~PuddleGuy

Hello All,

I found this Forum by following a link on my ISP's homepage called 'The Ten Most Embarrassing Health Conditions You Need To Ask Your Doctor About'. Out of curiosity, I followed the series of links to here.

Rocketman, I found your post compelling enough that I had to register in order to answer it.

I used to have stress incontinence, and it was getting progressively worse. As a gymnast at the time, I couldn't wear normal padded protection because the outlines would show under a leotard. But, a pantiliner and tampon wasn't effective to hold back the sudden leaks that would soak around the edges of my underwear. My gymnastics career was going to come to a rapid halt and in desperation I asked for the number of my mother's urologist as she was dealing with heavy stress incontinence herself and I made an appointment. This was in 2002. As it turned out, a surgery had been developed which put a mesh band over the urethra to do the job that the muscles around the bladder were failing to do. I had the surgery, and the trade off now is it takes me longer to urinate and it's a thinner flow. I also no longer can have natural childbirth - only a cesaerian. But it is a welcome trade off in exchange for progressing to briefs or diapers - whatever you want to call them - within the next five to ten years. I was able to continue the sport of gymnastics and finish it when I wanted to, not when my bladder forced me to.

Your paragraph on the quest for perfection in society - you almost sound like you have given up and that's your way of dealing with it. Or, it sounds like resignation - that you have accepted your condition as is. I don't know as emphasis and facial expressions don't come through in posts, but I do know this - I don't believe it is a quest for perfection that motivates people to do these things, but rather a quest to be normal or, to be able to continue through life as before without a handicap.

I had eye surgery done in 99' to correct and deal with my deteriorated vision after a long term illness - which by then I had recovered from - had stolen it. I ended up with perfect eyesight for which I praise God for. This wasn't a question of seeking perfection so I wouldn't be blighted or look silly for wearing glasses but a question of dealing with a very real handicap that even the strongest glasses couldn't help. It was available to me, I jumped at it, my life wasn't perfect afterwards and I didn't expect it be, but I COULD SEE. This in turn meant I could drive and go to work and lead a normal life.

I think everyone wants to be normal and fit in with mainstream society and unfortunately, in spite of all the handicapped laws that exist, the workplace and society is not very forgiving of limitations. My eyesight would have prevented me from doing some of the jobs that are in my field and it would have been a problem for my company to accomodate me, so I did what I could and had my end of things 'fixed' since that option was available to me. I don't believe for a minute that any of you here would shirk at the chance to fix your bladder and get out of protection forever if you had the sudden golden opportunity to do so. The same goes for your eyes and other parts of your body. We all want to be 'normal' and fit within society.

It has nothing to do with seeking perfection; it is simply not normal to involuntarily wet or soil one's pants - even in most animals this is not normal. When my eight cats have to go, they go to the other end the house to the cat boxes, dig a hole, squat and go. There is nothing involuntary about it. And I believe that is what incontinent people, blind people, lame people etc. are after - normalcy - not perfection.

If you have accepted your 'diapers' as a course for your life and you are fine with it, ok. But understand that for others, they will keep fighting and going to their doctors and trying to find a cure. Maybe they should learn to live with it. But I find it highly commendable to those people while they have accepted their condition, they still fight and try to find a solution or repair to that failing bladder or other body part. Such is the human struggle, sort of like the stork that is trying to swallow the frog and the frog has his hands around the stork's throat to keep himself from getting swallowed.


I hope I don't come across as judging you. That certainly is not the case. I truly understand where you and others here are, having been there and I hope you keep up the fight while you live your daily life in acceptance of where you are today. A surgery or treatment that is not here today, may be here tomorrow, so keep hope alive and keep in contact with your doctor.

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"Cats' whiskers are so sensitive, they can find their way through the narrowest cracks of a broken heart"

I think our society has a major problem with accepting anything that resembles an infancy state. This is especially true with aging since the physical effects are very similar to going back to an infancy state. Just like diapers vs briefs, society has come up with euphemisms for all sorts of mobility aids; we call them wheelchairs instead of strollers. A lot of time and effort is spent on simply making the adult versions look different so people feel that they are still adults. Society still shuns the disabled even if it is a minor disability; stuff like nobody wanted to date the girl with the lazy eye in high school. Doctor's simply assume this and therefore assume you will go through anything to become more normal. If there is a chance for more normalicy they will try to coax you to do it.
The aging stigma is really bad since many completely bogus articles are written by medical professionals that are simply wishful thinking; kind of like a societal brainwashing to make people feel less depressed about getting older. Society can't accept that even our most basic human distinction, our brain power, degrades rapidly in old age. There are tons of articles claiming it does not need to happen or can be reduced, but in reality your brain at age 80 is going to be nowhere close to as sharp and capable as at age 30. Incontinence articles also suffer from this same wishful thinking. I have heard "incontinence is not a natural part of aging" tons of times, but that statement is not very accurate. Maybe, "incontinence before the age of 50 in woman and 65 in men is uncommon and can indicate a severe problem" is more accurate. It is a known scientific fact that the sphincter muscles weaken and bladder capacity reduces as you age. It is very natural for woman above the age of 50 to need pads again for minor stress incontinence.

Where has out culture gone where every ailment or condition in our lives must either have a name or a cure or at least a drug you can take to make it all go away? When I was a kid, (I'm now 53) no one went to the doctor unless you were really sick, broke your arm or was on deaths door. Nowadays a child sneezes and it's off to the clinic. You toddler has to be potty-trained by eighteen months or there's grave concern somethings wrong.

None of us can watch an hours worth of television without seeing at least one drug related commercial. They are getting so long that they are going to need their own network soon.

No matter what ails you there is a drug for that. You have a condition, you take a drug, there are no other exceptions. You can't just deal with it as you see fit without someone making a comment like, " Yuk! you wear diapers, don't you know there's a drug for that?"

Just watch a typical drug ad on the tube and it starts out with nice music, then a scenario of a condition, then the lead in for the featured drug, the miracle cure and all the hype. It is finished off with a list of what side affects it can cause, but don't worry because that won't happen to you, but if it does we'll make another drug for that too.

Until there is a sure-fired cure to incontinence without surgery or tons of drugs with side affects we don't know the long term results of, I'll be wearing diapers for my incontinence.

I try to follow the K.I.S.S. method in life, "Keep it simple stupid!"

JRB... I'm with ya 100% man.

I think a lot of the problems with our society today stem from our overreliance on rushing around and taking the easy way out.

We are in a hurry from day 1. Ceasarian section instead of natural birth... toilet trained by 2 years so we can be rushed into pre-school. Rushed through primary schooling so we can graduate either a semester or a year early... then rushed through college or tech school so we can get out into the work force. Once we are at work we hurry through the day so we can get home... hurry up and eat dinner... hurry up and get the kids to bed just so we can do it all again tomorrow. Rush through your career on the fast-track in the fast lane so you can retire... and by the time you get there you are so old and gray worn out that there isn't much living left to do.

These days there is a pill for everything... lose weight, gain muscle, focus your attention, releive arthritis, increase blood pressure, decrease heart rate, control your bladder, loosen your bowels, and give you a hard-on. Not nearly enough research has been done on most of these pills and many of them have side effects that include DEATH. Yeah... you definately won't have high blood pressure or arthritis when you are 6 feet under.

It's all really a money racket... drugs are expensive and doctors love to perscribe them because they get a kick-back or incentives from the drug company. Fleecing the sick to make a buck.

Have we ever thought about the fact that 25 years ago things like ADD/HD and Aspergers Syndrome didn't even exist? People were different then just like today, sure... but everyone didn't have to have a label. Why do we label people today? Again, it's all about money. In school your are either ADD/HD, Aspergers, Gifted, or some combination thereof. Schools all get money for the number of "special" students they have... be it good or bad. What most of these kids really need is a simple arse-whooping like mom & dad or the principal used to give out. But we're all so afriad of hurting someone's feelings or heaven forbid bruising a backside that we don't do it. So our society is turning out a bunch of inconsiderate nincompoops who are self centered and always in a hurry to do whatever they are doing.

Don't believe me? Take a few hours... drive into a local city, and walk around Wal-Mart... you'll see what I mean.

I'm just glad that there are a few people left who refuse to take the quick and easy way out and who believe in living life one day at a time. Unfortunately these people aren't going to be around forever.

I really worry about what our country will be like in 50 years.

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~~PuddleGuy

Hi, back again. Well, we learn all this stuff and have it implanted into our brains (and probably our central nervous system as well) from one source - television.

I kicked the TV out long ago and don't miss it one bit. As a result, I have no desire to correct my wrinkles, or feel a loss for not pursuing a degree, or feel the need to chase and date people or keep up with latest hairstyles. I don't feel compelled to buy that juicy burger shown on the TV screen and as a result, don't need to call the 800 number to join the Nutri-System diet plan.

I also will not have the boob tube doing my thinking for me, and in the process of expunging the tv from my home, am protecting myself from the ton of filth that is on television as well.

The guilt tripping that TV has on a person's life through making them feel like they are missing out on something is enough to make a person very depressed and when dealing with disabilities, especially embarrassing ones such as incontinence, that's just a double whammy of depression on that person's plate.

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"Cats' whiskers are so sensitive, they can find their way through the narrowest cracks of a broken heart"