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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2022 1:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2019 2:36 pm
Posts: 2
Hi everyone (and sorry for the mistakes, my english isn't perfect),

I have a quite specific and embarrassing question...
A few years ago, I began experiencing some extreme overactive bladder because of an immune disease. At the time, I had a hard time dealing with it, but the problem resolved itself after a few months. Unfortunately, for a few months now it has become unmanageable again despite numerous attempts at treatment (physiotherapy, botox injections, oxybutynin, etc.).

Currently, I have very sudden "urges" several times a day. And from the moment I feel that emergency, I have to find a toilet in less than 2 minutes. I'm 28yo, I'm usually pretty social and this situation is depressing me completely. Two months ago, I started wearing pads every time I have to go out...but it makes me extremely paranoid that anyone will notice. Because given the severity of my problem, only tape-on underwear work (not to say diapers).
I'm at the point where I'm trying to accept my condition, and I'm starting to leave my house again. But my problem is that I can't let the panic get the better of me when my bladder betrays me in front of other people. Of course, even though I have a hard time with wearing diapers, it at least guarantees that "it won't show when I have an accident." But I'm always in a complete panic when I start to feel an urge without a toilet nearby.
Yesterday for example, I was in a shopping mall with 2 friends and I barely had the time to run to the nearest bathroom..but it was closed. So I ended up in tears because having an accident (even if invisible) in front of them made me feel miserable.
I find it really frustrating because wearing diapers is humiliating enough and I can't "make the most of it" knowing that it should at least keep me calm in case of problems. In short, every time the symptoms come, I'm way too self-conscious about what happens.

Do you have some tips to manage this panic feeling during (or right before) accidents? Thanks in advance for your help, really


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 20, 2022 4:49 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. But all of us here at this forum understand the embarrassment of your situation. So please don't be shy in asking for help.

I think the first step is to build confidence by wearing "protection" that is sufficient for your needs. This might be very embarrassing at first as we learn to accept our "needs". You need to be prepared with a diaper that you can trust and of course, be discreet enough. I suspect that you've done this much already. Let us know if you still suffer leaks.

The next step is to learn to trust your protection. To build trust, you'll need to go out more often and experience "accidents" so that you can learn to trust of your protection. Perhaps you can take walks in the parks, take hikes or go somewhere less public so that you allow yourself a little panic without being embarrassed. Over time when you prove to yourself that your protection works, then the panic will lessen until it vanishes. If your protection does not work well enough, then you need to shop for a better diaper. Lots of folks here can help with that.

If that is too big of a second step, some folks do the bathtub/shower stall test in the beginning (or when trying out a new product). When you feel an urge coming on, go into the tub/shower and allow yourself to wet your diaper. Yes, it's embarrassing at first, for us adults to intentionally wet, but it produces trust in your protection. I think everyone doubts with "does this really work?"

Eliminating panic requires trusting your diaper. That may require some practice. Find private ways to build this trust so that when it happens in public you can relax knowing that you and your diaper will be ok. I hope that helps.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2022 10:18 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
I get frequent bladder spasms, with leakage every time. When my sphincter clamps shut, the pain can be excruciating, hence the sphincterotomy. The solution, for me, is to trust my protection (cloth diapers) and get on with life. Friends and family do not notice anything other than my slightly bulging midsection. But I am secure; I can manage a full afternoon and evening without disrupting anything by having a visible accident. Good luck finding the solution that works for you.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2022 12:11 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 24, 2008 1:03 pm
Posts: 167
Talos Girl,

Your similar message written back on Feb. 7th, 2019, is followed with
lots of advice from members here.

Since your anxiety issues persist, the advice given you over three years
ago by multiple forum members should still be valid.

Good Luck.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 03, 2023 1:08 am 
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Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2022 10:23 pm
Posts: 32
I hear you, having urge incontinence out and about when you have to find a bathroom sucks and yes I am almost 30 now. What helped me though is I got diapers that I already tested will hold everything when I pee so that way no one will know when I pee unless they know me well enough to recognize I am having an accident but the one friend who does recognize that convinced me to start wearing a diaper so I am okay if she knows. And what also helped was realizing that if I couldnt make it, I couldnt make it. The diaper is there in case I pee so if I have to use it, I use it. I do try to hold it and find a bathroom, but I learned that if I know I cant reach one in time, I have a reasonable option.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2023 9:43 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jan 04, 2023 4:14 pm
Posts: 13
My leakage began in my 40s although I had overactive bladder (more frequency) from about age 15 onward but did not leak until my first hot flash in my early 40s. Now in my early 60s it is far less embarrassing as I talk to seniors in my building and they have this issue, the prevalence of which increases with age. Today, there are period panties for young women so could you just say that you have a heavy period and need to change? Add a few words about cramps, it came early, it was not expected until next week, and they will commiserate. Period panties are sold for heavy menstrual flow and resemble adult incontinence briefs so a young woman wearing padded briefs is being more normalized. I recall in grade 8 when I first got my period the fear was that boys in the class would notice a pad. With age this goes away. You could also talk to some young mothers who have urinary leakage to get tips for your own age group. My condo building has a cardboard dumpster and we regularly notice boxes of adult diapers folded up for recycling.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 29, 2023 10:55 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 29, 2022 10:23 pm
Posts: 32
I have heard this one before. That sounds like my bladder. What helped me a bit was a few things. First I got actually good diapers and tested them to make sure I could pee in them without any leakage in scenarios where I could find myself. Then I took a recording of myself having an accident just to hear if I could hear myself peeing in a quiet room. While I could hear it if there was no noise at all, if I added even a little bit of background noise, no one would hear the noise. As for the sudden urge to pee panic face.... I cant do much about that but the friend who knows I wear diapers does not make this out to be an issue when I have an accident.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 30, 2023 10:51 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 25, 2022 4:27 am
Posts: 17
TalosGirl wrote:
Hi everyone (and sorry for the mistakes, my english isn't perfect),

I have a quite specific and embarrassing question...
A few years ago, I began experiencing some extreme overactive bladder because of an immune disease. At the time, I had a hard time dealing with it, but the problem resolved itself after a few months. Unfortunately, for a few months now it has become unmanageable again despite numerous attempts at treatment (physiotherapy, botox injections, oxybutynin, etc.).

Currently, I have very sudden "urges" several times a day. And from the moment I feel that emergency, I have to find a toilet in less than 2 minutes. I'm 28yo, I'm usually pretty social and this situation is depressing me completely. Two months ago, I started wearing pads every time I have to go out...but it makes me extremely paranoid that anyone will notice. Because given the severity of my problem, only tape-on underwear work (not to say diapers).
I'm at the point where I'm trying to accept my condition, and I'm starting to leave my house again. But my problem is that I can't let the panic get the better of me when my bladder betrays me in front of other people. Of course, even though I have a hard time with wearing diapers, it at least guarantees that "it won't show when I have an accident." But I'm always in a complete panic when I start to feel an urge without a toilet nearby.
Yesterday for example, I was in a shopping mall with 2 friends and I barely had the time to run to the nearest bathroom..but it was closed. So I ended up in tears because having an accident (even if invisible) in front of them made me feel miserable.
I find it really frustrating because wearing diapers is humiliating enough and I can't "make the most of it" knowing that it should at least keep me calm in case of problems. In short, every time the symptoms come, I'm way too self-conscious about what happens.

Do you have some tips to manage this panic feeling during (or right before) accidents? Thanks in advance for your help, really



Hi, what is the absorption pad capacity you usually need to use? Our company have a women's leak proof undies, can hold up to 5.0 oz of liquid (150ml). I would like to send you a free sample to test and review, would you be interested? This is our official site - carerspk.com.
If you are interested, pls kindly email us - carerspk@gmail.com


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