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Support for dealing with incontinence
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2022 10:16 am 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
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padded53@ I think pull-ups are just fine for very specific applications. I have what I think would be considered to be "moderate" incontinence (significant after urination leakage, some urge incon) and when I know I will be home, or at least very near to a bathroom for certain, a high quality pull-up will work just fine for me. Even if I have a sudden urge and can't make it to the bathroom in time they will take one wetting. Of course then they will have to be changed, but no problem really since I'm usually at home. Also, for people with very minor or infrequent leakage, pull-ups, especially the better ones, probably work very well for them as well as being very discreet.
I couldn't agree more. If you have limited control, these serve as underwear when you don't have an accident and serve as protection when you do. I still use these for around the house a lot, and I can usually buy them on sale locally.
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desertrat@ Plus, you can get some of the pull-ups colors. In Europe there is a Tena Active Fit for men in a really nice dark blue. But it doesn't fit me quite right. I know some here are not bothered by them, but seeing myself in the mirror in a white diaper (tape on or pull-up) makes me a bit ill. I look like an escaped patient or a giant toddler, neither look is good for my ego.
I have resigned myself to accept the white diaper. Over a year ago I started out in some "for men" pull-ups that just made them look "odd" with their stripes etc. I've also tried the Megamax tie dye and the NS Supreme Lite in purple. Their colours did not visually help me at all. White NS Supreme Lites are cheaper where I order, so I go with that. 8)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 2:52 pm 
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Joined: Thu Jul 07, 2022 12:17 am
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wayne wrote:
I have resigned myself to accept the white diaper. Over a year ago I started out in some "for men" pull-ups that just made them look "odd" with their stripes etc. I've also tried the Megamax tie dye and the NS Supreme Lite in purple. Their colours did not visually help me at all. White NS Supreme Lites are cheaper where I order, so I go with that. 8)


I get that. It's all what works for each of us. The striped ones didn't work for me either, they looked like a white paper diaper with stripes.

My biggest concern is that if anyone sees my waistband, it doesn't look like a diaper. I worry about that a lot.

As far as how I see myself, like I said if I was totally incontinent like so many of you are, it would be easier for me to handle it mentally. I would know I needed it every day and it is just reality. Be it urine or feces, if it was constant, then it would be a known quantity.

Mine comes and goes with flares, and some flares don't have much or any incontinence. Sometimes I am not that sick but I leak like crazy. I wear regular underwear for a month and then I am back in pullups for a year. I'm cool on wearing regular underwear for a while though after an incident at Home Depot about six months ago when I went from normal to incontinent in the store with a four-year-old, my wife and no supplies. But since my wife has the same disease and rarely uses diapers (even when she lightly soils her underwear daily), I feel pressure to try. I sometimes feel guilty if I keep using pullups and have no leakage.

I was hard to diagnose and I've had many doctors over the years say that I shouldn't have this sort of continence issues with this disease, or they would counter that since I have incontinence, I don't have IBD but "just IBS" and therefore "it's all stress". "You just need to learn how to hold the diarrhea longer, none of my other patients have problems like this". "You are too young to have these problems" It was even suggested that this was some sort of a mental or moral failing on my part. Perhaps, one argued, some deep-seated part of my brain wanted me to be like this and I subconsciously caused my own diarrhea like some kind of eating disorder or as a form of hypochondria.

Even though this is all crap, when I see myself like that in the mirror, a little voice in the back of my head says "So is this is the way you want to look? This is the way people see you. This might be all your fault; perhaps you are somehow making this happen." Of course, we have a diagnosis and I now know these problems are very common in patients with Crohn's/UC/IBD; the doctors just never asked. My pelvic floor therapist has a lot of patients with IBD with these exact problems. Plus I've damaged my pelvic floor from holding the diarrhea for so long, something that I saw as a victory over my failures of incontinence.

Having a pullup that looks slightly less like a diaper helps me mentally. It helps me tell myself that I am not trying to be like this on purpose.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 29, 2023 9:35 pm 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
I try to understand the threat to one's self image that incontinence, especially fecal incontinence, imposes on us. I manage by taking an internal deodorant with every solid meal, and wearing appropriate protection. Sometimes that is a pullup; other times it is a full diaper with a plastic overpant. Managing double incontinence can be a challenge, which the folks here understand. Although incontinence is not lethal, it is a difficult challenge. Folks who have risen to that challenge deserve kudos.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 03, 2023 5:19 pm 
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Joined: Sat Dec 29, 2012 2:44 pm
Posts: 447
Location: Seattle area
I have found that if I wear pullups, they are not absorbent enough for any time away more than an hour. However, if I add a doubler, they will be absorbent enough, but now they are too heavy for the weak elastic waistband.

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