www.incontinentsupport.org

So about 16-17 years ago my urinary incontinence issues started getting worse which prompted me to go to a doctor. He sent me to get an ultrasound of the bladder and ended off diagnosing me with OAB. Meds were prescribed but the side affects made it not worth it and I just ended up dealing with the issues by using diapers at night and pads during the day. Sometimes I’d go a long time with no issues at all. I cut out caffeine and other irritants but sometimes I’d still have issues.

Fast forward 17 yeras later. My previous wife of a 27 year relationship struck me with wanting a divorce. I never would have. I would have supported her through better or worse as that was how I was raised but in the end it was for the better. We never really fought but the fire had been gone for a long time. She was also never out going with me or wanted to do anything for that matter. She was locked away in the house 90% of the time. Which is all well and good but not who I was. With that medical issues were also never discussed. It was always you need to go to the doctor and not talk to me about it.

Shortly after the divorce I met someone who was the opposite of her and has been bringing back the old me. Out going and wanting to have fun outdoors.. I have been so happy with her but she has been making me face my medical issues including my incontinence. So a year later and several doctor’s appointments it brings me to my issue.

My general practitioner has been great but I feel like everyone I have been referred to for my bladder issues has not been very helpful. I feel like I’m just being ran through the paces and given meds which haven’t been very helpful jus so they can collect insurance and co-pays. So far nothing really invasive has been done and from what I have read here I wonder if I should push for that as it seems like a lot of these test have been negative with little to know benefits. Am I reading in to this? Have these more invasive test or remedies been helpful to anyone? I feel like they cant even give me a good diagnosis as to why I am having these issues which makes me apprehensive.

I am 3 years away from retirement and I have been able to hide these issues from everyone but my wife. Days like today though I was at work and I flooded a pull with a booster to the point where it started to leak as soon as I got home. It started with just pads at work, then pull ups, then pull ups with boosters. On my days off I wear a breathable diaper with a large booster. I know Im going to hit the point where I need to do this at work and Im self conscious about it being noticed. So Im asking should I deal with and hope more invasive testing and whatever be prescribed is worth it or should I just deal with the fact that I need more protection? Protection is more embarrassing to me but it’s not invasive. Drugs have been ineffective and with that being the case I don’t know if I want to push for more test.

I’d appreciate any feedback.

Over the years I have had numerous invasive medical tests and surgeries for incontinence. Like you, I have found the medications for incontinence to be useless. I use diapers 24/7, bring along a well stocked gym/diaper bag with me everywhere I go, and get on with living. Good luck with your new wife, and your incontinence management.

I would think a medium/high capacity diaper with a pad might be the way to go for the near future. You could start with that combo and when the pad was full merely remove it and continue on with the diaper. Many people feel that a good quality diaper is easy to spot but in reality it just isn't so. I've worn one for years with nobody mentioning anything or even a odd glance that I saw.

Patrick, did the testing lead to anything other than prescriptions? Any medical procedures and I’d they help?

Padded53, Are you suggesting switching to a tabbed diaper with a booster over the pull up with booster that I have been using? Maybe I’m just being self conscious but when I wear a tabbed diaper with a booster on my days off I feel like it is noticeable which is why I wear a long T-Shirt. I can’t do this at work as I have to wear a uniform. Maybe I’m just being overly self conscious about tabbed diapers at work.

No, just a tabbed diaper with some kind of a "booster", no pull-up. The booster could be either a flow-thru and wouldn't have to be removed or a non-flow-thru type (i.e.Male Guard) which can easily be removed when full and then either be replaced or just let the tabbed diaper do the "work". Also, I find that a tabbed diaper can be pulled down without removing the tabs when absolutely necessary. Yes, it is somewhat difficult but can be done! Fortunately this doesn't have to be done to just replace a Male Guard pad, especially if you don't remove all of the strip coving the adhesive strip.

The non-medical professional explanation is that my bladder was threatening my kidneys, making sphincterotomies necessary in 1999 and 2022. The workups prior to each surgery were about as uncomfortable and embarrassing as you would expect. The bowel incontinence is caused by a paralyzed GI system, for which I take a list of medications and keep close watch on my diet. In both cases, diapers and plastic pants are life savers.

Thank you for the information. I greatly appreciate it.

Anymore replies about if more invasive test/surgeries have been beneficial would also be appreciated.