www.incontinentsupport.org

Thankyou all so much for your replies
It is greatly appreciated, I hope they keep coming!!

You know campingFool had an intersting comment in item # 5, and that's what your spouse thinks about their partner having to wear a diaper. Our Sandy is the only female on this board who can comment on this. Her husband gives her his complete support. Why is it only men on this board talk about this. There are a few females have spoke a little, but Sandy is the only consistant one.
I guess Females are just too private and don't want to talk about incontinence with a mostly male forum board. Sandy, thank you for sticky with us! ............Paul Martin

These are my questions:

1. Do you feel incontinence is freely spoken about? Or would you consider it a taboo?

My impression is that incontinence is still somewhat of a taboo, but is spoken about more freely than it was a few years ago. Although incontinence isn't necessarily a sign of aging, it seems more prevalent and I've certainly found that as I have aged I am less concerned about discussing my incontinence. I've also found that once people learn of my incontinence, they are more inclined to share that they too have had continence issues. It's really far more common than I ever realized.

2. What are the main physical side effects you suffer, from the condition, products, drugs etc?

I avoid the use of drugs so there really aren't any repercussions there. I change my diaper regularly and am very careful with my skin hygiene.

3. How does it affect you socially?

All in all my social life has improved. I've had bladder problems virtually since the day I was "potty trained". Due to the social stigma of my condition and the lack of readily available products I suffered in silence for decades. I coped with accidents and dehydration for years, but still managed to lead a normal social life with a good deal of stress. The social impact of my incontinence began to diminish when I intermittently began wearing the early styles of disposable diapers. Compared to what's available today they were terrible, and I had to wear plastic pants over them because they leaked after the first wetting. Still, they were better that what I was used to. Today, my social life is normal. The disposable diapers I used are great, and for the first time in my life I really don't worry about wetting my pants.

4. Would you say your body image changed/distorted?

Not really. I've lived with this all of my life, so I guess I grew up accepting my bladder issues.

5. Has being incontinent affected your self esteem? If yes in what way?

Not really, although I have to say having an understanding and supportive wife makes a tremendous difference.,

6. What products do you use? Does effective management of the condition increase your self esteem?

I wear the Abena X-Plus with a Dignity Doubler inside. I also wear Gary plastic pants over the diaper. The plastic pants do add a bit of extra protection, concealment and sound proofing. This combination works great for me and has increased my self esteem.

Hi all, I just wanted to give you an update. I am currently finalising my project. It will be handed in at the beginning of May. I must add it has generated some interest because of my chosen topic. I would like to thank all of you for your responses. They have been extremely valuable, they have given me insight into an area that has not been previously studied. Apparently very few have looked into how incontinence affects quality of life.
I hope I do you all justice, and I cannot thank you enough for your responses. Maybe one day I will be able to make a difference!
Thanks again, I will let you know how it goes when it is marked.
KT

[quote="kt"]Thankyou.

These are my questions:

1. Do you feel incontinence is freely spoken about? Or would you consider it a taboo?
Taboo, or at least a difficult subject to discuss
2. What are the main physical side effects you suffer, from the condition, products, drugs etc?
Urinary incontinence
3. How does it affect you socially?
NO I ave refused to let it effect me socially. Accually no one knows or notices

4. Would you say your body image changed/distorted?
NOT really

5. Has being incontinent affected your self esteem? If yes in what way?
not at all I say " accept it and move on with life, you will be MUCH happier"

6. What products do you use? Does effective management of the condition increase your self esteem?
I wear Molicare SuperPlus diapers 24/7....very good protection in my opinion

Thanks [/quote]

[quote="Puffy Pants"]Thanks Joe, I do hope others will add to this post, it would be interesting to get other views on what their thoughts are and how they cope with it all compared to myself... sometimes I wonder if I do things differently from the general incontinent population out there, but most likely very similar... still be interesting to read though, Puffy[/quote]

Puffy, I totally agree with all you said

1. Do you feel incontinence is freely spoken about? Or would you consider it a taboo?

2. What are the main physical side effects you suffer, from the condition, products, drugs etc?

3. How does it affect you socially?

4. Would you say your body image changed/distorted?

5. Has being incontinent affected your self esteem? If yes in what way?

6. What products do you use? Does effective management of the condition increase your self esteem?


1. I feel like it is very much considered taboo. I don't hear anyone talking about it freely in public. I have been told that women are more open about such things than men. I know men do not discuss such things, ever. The only people I talk about this with are my doctors and nurses. Mostly doctors. I talk about my incon problems and diapers freely with my doctors.

2. I don't really suffer any physical side effects as I have never had surgery and I don't take meds. I tried meds and I had some bad side effects of dry mouth, decreased sweating, and constipation. The constipation was terrible. Very painful so I quit taking the meds. I wear diapers and other than the occasional diaper rash, I don't have any side effects or pain.

3. It doesn't really. Nobody except close family knows of my incontinence or the fact that I have to wear diapers. None of them care or say anything to me. I just carry on and live a normal life. I do carry a small drawstring backpack with me whenever I leave the house. It has a couple of spare diapers and a pack of wipes in it to aid in a quick change in public. I have only been questioned about that bag a handful of times in three years. It is small and attracts very little attention. So other than the bag, socially, I have no problems.

4. No, my body image has not change. I would like to lose a little weight, but other than that, the diapers no longer bother me. I do hate having a bowel accident in public. That is the most embarrassing part of incontinence. But a quick change is all thats necessary. Other than that, I'm fine with my self image. Seeing myself wearing a diaper in the mirror does not bother me either.

5. No, it has not effected my self esteem. I have been urine incontinent for 3 years. Bowel incon for about the last year. It has taken some getting used to but I have managed. With all my health conditions, I feel lucky to be alive.

6. I wear Abena Xplus and Extra provided by the VA. When I swim, I wear a Gabby's swim diaper. I also have some plastic pants that I occasionally wear provided by XPmedical. I do own 5 Abena concealers from there too. They are great. With all these products, I find that I can live a normal, healthy, productive life.

As I am not incontinent in the most severe meaning of the word (I have control, but suffer from OAB and urgency & kidney problems which may lead to accidents), diapers are a back-up for difficult days and situations. Not a big deal. What has affected my life more is the fact that I limited my comings and goings for years before seeking medical help. Now that I am still under 30, with medication and the courage to use protection when needed, I have a happier life than before. Of course I still have to limit drinking (which isn't too good for kidney stones...), have to time toilet trips and plan them ahead if going to new places, dress warmly to prevent the bladder triggering from the cold etc. I also have to carry small coins, as public toilets in Finland usually have a user-fee.

Of course I was (and still sometimes am) embarrassed by my problem: most guys seem to be able to hold it for AGES, but for me, when the condition was at its worst, toilet called me every 20 minutes. Good days saw me go without urinating about 90 minutes. So I had good reasons to avoid theatres, cinemas and exams. I've learned to accept that I have bladder problems. Some people have migraine, or diabetes or arthritis. I don't have to explain myself or be ashamed of having a system which doesn't work in the optimal way. Acceptance is everything. Of course I may (and do) make things easier -respect my bladder, that is- but I can't let a medical issue control my whole life. When my bladder has a bad time life can still be infernal at times. It is very uncomfortable, painful even, to try hold urine when one gets bladder spasms and feels the pressure in the whole groin-lower abdomen area or realizes that the bladder is filling even though it was emptied half an hour ago, but there are no toilets close by. But as said before, back-up protection and a good medication has relieved these problems. Embarrassment over wearing diapers as a protection has also retreated, even though I am worried about the environmental effect -it goes against my values, but there are compromises we have to make. My meds aren't good for environment either, yet I urinate the residue every day and some some of the stuff is bound to end up in the sea.

Of course it is difficult at times and feels bad to have issues like this, but I guess that's normal with any condition. Some days are easier than others, but I take them as they come. I lead a mostly happy, active life.

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Linja-autojen ja rakkauden perässä voi juosta tai odottaa seuraavaa.

KT originally posted this for his thesis in 2011. He has not been active here since, and I'd be willing to say that societie's level of acceptance towards adults in diapers has significantly changed in the last 5 years. If w're going to resurrect this old thread I'd be inclined to say we might as well just re-post these questions as brand new topic.

Agreed..... though it was an interesting read.

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When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.

Marcus Aurelius