www.incontinentsupport.org

I am bowel incontinent and, more recently, urinary incontinent. Using diapers enabled me to continue an almost normal active life. Although I wear diapers 24/7, I still try to make it to the toilet whenever possible.

As I did not become incontinent until I was older, I had a lot of difficulty in grappling with both the incontinence situation and the wearing diapers situation - both physical and emotional issues. After I got things sorted out, wearing diapers has served not only as my physical safety net but also as my security blanket by relieving me of considerable emotional anxiety.

I don't "love" diapers. However, I really do appreciate diapers as a well-engineered piece of technology and the positive impact they have had on my circumstance.

--JD

To answer this question it depends on how it is asked. I am greatful with what diapers has given back to me. It got me back out of the house, helped me realize my career was not over and I have opened up more to my wife then I have been in a really long time. But as for the diapers themselves, let me put it this way, because of the incontinence and more specifically the diapers the thought of suicide crossed my mind more then once. I am greatful this forum doesn't have a fetish section because the idea of those people only makes the negative feeling that more instance. If only "they" would realize that there are 100 to 1 groups for fetish stuff vs real people maybe they would not drag that stuff to the good forums trying to help people.

In my humble opinion .. this is so simple! You either need them or you don't need them. IF you need them .. and I do .. ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY NO-QUESTION NO-DEBATE THEY ARE A POSITIVE THING IN MY LIFE.

If someone questions wearing diapers being a postitive in their life I think the issue is this .. like so many issues in life I think we have a gray area in that .. as I understand it .. the intensity of urinary incontinence can vary from-person-to-person. Some dribble and leak constantly. Others have varying degrees of urgency and of overactive bladder. Others with stress or giggle incontinence can control their condition perhaps more easily than the general incontinent population.

BECAUSE I DO NOT .. BECAUSE I WILL NOT .. ALLOW MY BLADDER TO DICTATE TO ME THAT I MUST JUMP UP AND CONSTANTLY RACE TO THE RESTROOM .. DIAPERS ARE A POSITIVE IN MY LIFE.

I can not imagine myself flying (and I fly long-haul international flights of 15-hours) without wearing them. I can not imagine my attending any type of important meeting without wearing them. I can not imagine myself driving a motor-vehicle in heavy congested traffic or in terrible challenging weather conditions without wearing them. I can not imagine sleeping without wearing them. I can not imagine going through customs and immigration in foreign countries without wearing them. SO YES THEY ARE A MOST POSITIVE THING IN MY PERSONAL LIFE.

IF you are incontinent but you are on-the-line and living in a so-called-gray area and you are able to sometimes actually get-away-without-wearing them then I can imagine that you might get into the self-argument as to whether or not they are a postive thing in your life. I find that MY ATTITUDE is the key in this life challenge.

IF I did not have access to diapers my life would be so totally different that it is not possible for me to imagine it. At one time .. in our society .. urinary incontinence was the NUMBER ONE REASON FOR PEOPLE BEING ADMITTED TO A LIFE IN A NURSING HOME. Think about that the next time you question their being a postivie in your life.

Being incontinent means that I cannot control my urination, so I need a diaper to enable to do all the ordinary things people do. They are a positive factor because of the freedom they give me.

On a completely different level, being incontinent and needing diapers has made me appreciate the wide range of problems that people with disabilities and members of minority groups face. In a strange way, incontinence has made me a more compassionate person than I would otherwise have been. And that's very important.

I am incontinent because of a genetic disease. I wish I didn't have this disease. I wish that I didn't have to manage the many difficulties this disease causes me, but wishing is neither a cure nor a solution. Diapers enable me to function in public; they enable me to meet my family, social, and economic obligations. Do I love them? Hardly; diapers cannot have emotions. But I need them as much as though they did indeed have emotions, and, when they fail and I have an accident in public, my response is anything but loving. Diapers are more than a positive contribution to my life; they are essential to my well-being; the enable me to meet the expectations of my family, colleagues and friends.

As usual Patrick, very poetically well written.

Diapers, while a nuisance, have saved my professional life. I struggle mainly with urge incontinence and it can be difficult to last more than a minute or two at times between the onset of an urge and the experience of a wetting accident. I'm a Psychologist and my sessions typically last 50 minutes to an hour. As my incontinence began to develop, I struggled with sitting through sessions not focusing at all on what my clients might be saying because I was becoming preoccupied with trying not to have an accident or I would have to excuse myself from the middle of a session to go use the bathroom. As you might imagine, counseling sessions can get quite emotionally intense and having your therapist either get up and walk out in the middle of the session or worse yet, not listen to you because he's focused on not wetting his pants quickly became an unacceptable set of options. Looking back on it now, it felt like it was a terrifying choice but it wound up being absolutely the right choice in the end. Diapers allow me to do what I need to do to be the best therapist I can be for my clients. When I can make it to the bathroom between sessions or meetings or whatever, I still go but I quickly realized the quality of my work went back up dramatically when I was able to stop worrying about accidents because I was protected and I knew I didn't have to exit a session at a really inopportune moment. I owe it to my clients to be fully present for them and diapers allow that.

CJ

I was very reluctant to post anything hear because of very personal feelings diapers and being incontinent sturs inside me but iI have to be honest with myself. Diapers have given me a functional way to continue to provide for my family and to keep doing what I love to do. So in that regard I am thankful. Another way this has been a positive in my life is it has made me see that I am not perfect. For most of my life I felt I could take care of myself and my own needs and out of pride, I would rarely ask for help. Trying to cope with this condition has made me realise I am not as perfect as I thought I was and allowed me to open up to my wife in a deeper and even more personal way and in turn has brought us closer then we have ever been.
So as much as I would hate to admit it, there is at least one good thing about this situation we all share here for me.

Rope

That's awesome to hear about you and your wife getting closer because of your struggles leading to you opening up to her. I'm feeling closer to my friends and colleagues than I ever have before because of my ability to be more open with them as well. I have to admit that when I was married, I wasn't as fortunate as you describe. Back then my problems with incontinence were limited to nighttime and while that was certainly not the whole or even the biggest reason that the marriage did not last, it did play a small part in that it contributed to wrecking a lot of the intimacy between us. My spouse was totally creeped out by diapers, wet beds, the smell of urine... anything related to this issue. She tried to act like it was "just something to deal with" but when we realized we weren't going to survive as a couple, she admitted that she never got past it. I used to resent her for that but I've come to realize that it's better she was honest with me and it's better that we're not together anymore. With my incontinence where it is now, whoever I wind up with in a relationship next is going to have to accept this part of me right from the word "go" as I'm not going to waste even a minute trying to hide it or being ashamed of it.

Tell your wife from me that she's awesome and that you appreciate her support more than you can ever know.

CJ

Despite I would wish I didn't need diapers in the first place, I eventually have come to accept them as a mean to deal with my incontinence (Urge).
It took me some while getting used to needing diapers, and now....well, it has just become a new way around - they keep my pants dry and our furniture.
In the beginning I was really fearfull of what my wife's reaction, now she had to be together with a grown up man in diapers and plastic pants.
It was a great relief for me, that she accepted the diapers without a doubt - her only obstacle was the smell of my wet cloth diapers in the morning (They really stink after a whole night....). However we have talked about it over and over again, and finally came to an understanding....I keep my diaperpail outside in a shed until they have to be washed.
During the day I wear disposables...

One thing I remember I feared was the intimacy between my wife and I and how my state would affect this - it meant some adjustments but never really did interfear that much...we have a few new routines, that's all.

Only hassle is, when going for business trips, I have to prepare and it usually means carrying extra luggage, and of course the airport security remains a concern to me. I'm not open about my diapered state neither to family, friends or coworkers....only my wife knows and at some time I have to explain to my son, about the cloth diapers hanging to dry.

So in a way, diapers for dealing with wetting, have become a positive thing in my life, even though when it first started I said I would rather die, than wearing diapers. So at the moment I can't think of anything else to deal with my incontinence than diapers...
tried medication, didn't work, refuse surgery...so that meant diapers.