Hi Matthew,
I also started having urinary issues when i was about 24 - from very freaky terrifying car crash.....
I will admit that I have had many tearful nights of agony, frustration, and unbelievable pain across my entire body
from head to toe. As well as continence and urinary issues, i had very crazy spasms, and shaking and such....
walking was very difficult for a long while- and i end up having PTSD from all that mess
I do like how Mark over at
http://www.wearing-adult-diapers.com/ (see diaper dynamo on youtube) puts it.
He seeks to remove the stigma associated with diapers and incontinence. We wear diapers for a variety of reasons
each of us, in dealing with it face our own stage of grief- denial/isolation, depression, anger, acceptance and bargaining
and can change into any of the stages of grief in any order at any time.
I have hated myself and loathed my condition and injuries and predicament and especially all the embarrassment and pain that followed my car crash.
I oft pondered and wondered about woulda/shoulda/coulda and crap.... but it really isn't all that helpful.
I still sometimes hate myself and my accidents - but in perspective of things, it aint that bad.
And frankly, diapers were much welcomed when i was in so much pain - have trouble moving and walking. Add some urinary frequency, urgency and pain- and some leakage- suddenly diapers sound like quite a nice blessing. No need to worry so much about getting up to the toilet all the time. And I can actually enjoy a movie
or something to help take my mind off my pain & problems. Without the diapers i would have to get up every single time, and crawl to the bathroom- practically live there.
The thing is though about urologists in peculiar- they seem to be some of the WORST doctors out there. and a lot of them offer practically no support or understanding.
And even few of like the physical therapists, pelvic floor therapists, etc I saw following my crash, they dismissed a lot of my symptoms and problems. I was glad to have
finally at least found good physical therapist and an understanding and competent PF therapist.
I try to move on. but it is still like i have strings attached- and am burdened by urinary issues and flashbacks and flareups... but in a way, i come to "enjoy" myself- in a zen like way.