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 Post subject: Am I a bathroom slave?
PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:02 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
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Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
I am urgent bladder incontinent so at home/office, I use the toilet frequently enough to prevent my bladder from urging.

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@johnstone "Urge" incontinence is the worst type of incontinence, and it is a very common form of incontinence. Frequent small voids can become overwhelming to many and those people sooner, or later CAN degrees and experience what I call "bathroom slavery". When that happens, the continuous and frequent need to use the bathroom is NOT worth that type of lifestyle in my opinion.

I did a "pee log" a few days ago and discovered that I use the bathroom at least 12 times/day (to avoid urges). That is an average of 2 hours between voids over 24 hours. My overnight is 2-3 times. So if you eliminate 8 hours for overnight and those 3 times, the average time between voids drops to about 1 3/4 hours between voids. I've recently started to think that this is a lot. Some days, I really do feel like a bathroom slave. According to one article I read the normal time between voids is a 24 hour average of 3 hours.

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@padded53 This concept of a "Bathroom Slave" reminds me of a very good friend of mine ... and since his treatment I've noticed that he has to run to the bathroom what seems to be once an hour. In addition he has mentioned that he has to get up to use the bathroom 2-3 times a night. It's quite a contrast to me even though I'm the one that is technically incontinent. I only have to use the bathroom 2-3 times a day to change my diaper and I sleep straight through almost every night.

... So then he has his radiation treatments and it has eliminated his cancer but left him running to the bathroom every hour or so. I've mentioned his "frequency" but he just sort of shrugs it off as if it's normal. ... So, who's the one that's being affected more by "incontinence"? I'd have to say that it's my "continent" Friend and not me the Diaper wearer.

There are days (work days especially) where I wish I didn't have to keep running to the bathroom to keep ahead of my bladder. Lately I'm getting to the point where I wish I could just depend upon the diaper and change every so often instead. After all, I am already wearing a diaper for accident prevention, just not a more absorbent brief.

My initial thought is to feel guilty about making that choice. But I've got to say that when I wear my Molicare on the Saturday morning errands, it is quite liberating to not have to be running to a toilet.

At what point would you make the change to full use of a diaper and forget the toilet? 2 hours? 1.5 hours? 1 hour? Not at all. I'd love to hear your opinion, yea or nay.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 17, 2021 10:30 pm 
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Joined: Sun Feb 07, 2021 2:40 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Newmarket Ontario
I was resistant to wearing during the day until there were just one too many accidents outside the home usually while trying to get to a store washroom somewhere. The exasperation anxiety and the total embarrassment were the turning points. This all happened rather rapidly after the car accident in March 2020. Nothing has changed in eighteen months. I am still seeing specialist's , another MRI is being done soon, no clear answers yet. Until then I diaper in the morning , go about my day , what happens happens ,whenever and wherever it happens and I change when necessary, some days more changes some days less. That's my new life, good bye anxiety and it does not matter what anyone else thinks about that , I am at peace with myself and this particular decision, no more public embarrassment, anxiety or bladder slavery.

Paul Henry


Last edited by Paul Henry on Sat Sep 18, 2021 9:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 12:11 am 
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Location: Arizona, USA
wayne wrote:
... At what point would you make the change to full use of a diaper and forget the toilet? 2 hours? 1.5 hours? 1 hour? Not at all. I'd love to hear your opinion, yea or nay. ...


Speaking of my own experience way back when, I went to full use of the diaper when I was having too much anxiety over knowing where the bathrooms were when out on daily activities. At a certain point even my wife said just "go" because she was so annoyed at my constant searching for the path to the nearest bathroom. After I decided to stop stressing about "making it", life became much more stress-free for the both of us!

But there is a caveat. As I depended more on the diaper, I seemed to have weakened the control I was "seeming" to maintain. It was a bit of a surprise; but in the end, I would do it all over again in order to avoid being a "bathroom slave".

Best wishes!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 9:57 am 
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Joined: Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:01 pm
Posts: 554
Location: Florida
wayne wrote:
....But I've got to say that when I wear my Molicare on the Saturday morning errands, it is quite liberating to not have to be running to a toilet. At what point would you make the change to full use of a diaper and forget the toilet?...

Wayne:
I kind of think that you've answered your own question in that you feel so liberated when you wear more substantial protection. I would say buy a pack of Northshore's Mega Max diapers and give them a try while at work. I've found that they can easily last me 10+ hours but of course that may not be the case for you. However if you find that a Mega Max won't last the entire work day you could always add a Guard pad and remove (or replace) it when full and that would allow you to not have to change your main diaper. And yes, a diaper like a Mega Max is bulky, but that can be managed by the use of dark colored and/or slightly larger pants.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 11:54 am 
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Joined: Sat Mar 29, 2014 11:45 am
Posts: 1836
I use the toilet more frequently than I need to, because if I wait, instead of a signal that I have to go, my bladder goes into a hissy fit, a spasm that is sudden and very painful. I hope that the Botox shot I'll get on October 8 will solve that problem. If it works as advertised, I'll lose all bladder control, but the elimination of the pain and threat to my kidneys make it acceptable. So, yes, I guess I too am a bathroom slave. I guess most of us are. On the other hand, good, reliable protection makes us more independent of toilets than the able-bodied population are.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2021 8:53 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2021 2:13 pm
Posts: 455
Location: Southern Ontario, Canada
Thanks everyone for your comments for me to ponder on. I think I already know what I need to do but need to find the courage to do it. Maybe this fall, I'll just go into work one day with the "new solution" and see how that goes.


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