www.incontinentsupport.org

hi all

My continence adviser seems to think intermittent cath-ing will make me 100% dry meaning no protection but i'm not so sure. I think it'll be a while yet with me wearing stuff at least when out.

It's hard to tell what's in my head and what's real but i've had 3 main probs with clothing
A) if the protection is bulky (e.g diaper) then my clothes become a bit tighter. If they were tight to begin with i can't wear them comfortably (or sometimes do them up)!
B) i worry people can see that i'm wearing protection (my mother once declared that i should not be wearing the sort of pad she'd noticed i was. She was clearly looking for it but still)
C) can you ever feel comfortable in lightly coloured clothes? Does the fear of leaks make you dress differently?
D) bladder spasms and retention make some clothes physically uncomfortable
E) stuff needs to be easy to get off in a rush. I also seem to wear the same easy shoes simply because i cannot face taking them off when my clothes are wet. Putting shoes on once is hard enough.

Do other people have similar problems? Are these problems/fears you've been able to get over?

Thanks.

Sorry to sound disappointing, but my experience with Intermittent Cathterisation (IC) was that it really didn't help much. Yes I suppose it made sure the bladder was empty but that was about it. As a man I was using sheaths (external catheters in N America0 and, of course, that didn't work well the IC. These days some sheaths can have the tip removed for this purpose but that only indicates the problem.

The problem is that IC tends to annoy the sphincters and so urine comes out in smaller amounts more often. I was told to IC every 2 hours but was down to 1 hour to stay dry. Pointless!

Now, of course, if a person does not void and has to drain by IC that's fine and if there is significant retention that's fine too, but i can't help think that it is otherwise self defeating.

it's been suggested i IC because there's at least one point in a day where i wet a very large amount suggesting overflow. Trouble is working out the timing so i don't wet. It changes from day to day too! I often get spasms when i'm not holding much as well though which is why i'm not convinced it will do much. There's only been 1 time in a day so far where i've been retaining. I'll stick with it for a bit to see. It could just be about timing. Today i peed 500ml then 600ml + 100ml cath in the space of 90 mins. Question is whether i would have averted the need to go soon and so much had i have cathed first time instead of second. It feels like tryin to catch it pre accident really.

I am still learning much about different ways to dress that conceal that I'm wearing protection. On days that I find I'm wetting pretty heavy I will wear a night thickness diaper and loose fitting pants and a shirt or jacket that hangs down over my butt. I have not had anyone say anything to me about seeing any unexpected padding. On more regular days I can get away with relaxed fit jean and a comfortably loose shirt.

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When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

I usually wear either an Abena Xplus or an extra. If I wear the xplus, I'll also wear an Abena concealer to support the diaper because I find when it gets wet, alot wet, that it sags. The concealer aids in support to keep my butt from looking funny. Whether I wear the Xplus or extra, I will just wear jeans or shorts that are one size too big. I don't even wear a huge shirt that hangs down. Theres no need too. The diapers are not that visible. I always ask my wife how I look. And she always tells me the same thing: "I can't tell". So I don't worry about it. I just dress normally.

[quote="Don"]I usually wear either an Abena Xplus or an extra. If I wear the xplus, I'll also wear an Abena concealer to support the diaper because I find when it gets wet, alot wet, that it sags. The concealer aids in support to keep my butt from looking funny. Whether I wear the Xplus or extra, I will just wear jeans or shorts that are one size too big. I don't even wear a huge shirt that hangs down. Theres no need too. The diapers are not that visible. I always ask my wife how I look. And she always tells me the same thing: "I can't tell". So I don't worry about it. I just dress normally.[/quote]

TOTALLY agree 100%

I agree, I just wear my normal clothes and nothing seems to be noteable. I live in Arizona, so the weather here is warm so most the time I wear short pants and a polo style shirt. I Use the Abena XPlus M4, and the Extra M3. If I'm going to be out and about for a while, or most of the day I wear plastic pants over the diaper for added protection. I guess the plastic pants also keep the diaper for saging when it get wet. It seems to work pretty well and I don't have any issues and that's what counts. No bulk, no leaks, and no odor (I take meds that control odor).

I learned to purchase jeans and slacks a couple inches larger than I need. For instance my waist is about 33 inches (+/-) so instead of 33 inch waist jeans/slacks I purchase 34 to 36 inch jeans & slacks depending on the pant. Snap crotch undershirts help hold everything in place and the extra waist and material of the slightly larger pants help to conceal the fact that I am wearing protection. Mt lifestyle has changed. It has been 13 years sine the accident. I'm still an active individual but not at the level I once was. I attribute this to having to deal with lack of bladder control and the fact that I am 13 years older. I still do as many of the activities I used to do before the accident as I am able to. I obviously am forced to spend a substantial amount of time managing being incontinent. This is time that I was able to spend doing other things, some productive, before the accident. I'm always planning activities with the fact that I have no bladder control. This does limit the options. There doesn't seem to be a great deal of spontinaeity in my life any longer. I guess what I'm trying to say is that not only did I have to change the clothes I wear but my whole world changed in so many ways. No more taking off on a whim. Early on I had a few nasty experiences. I was bull headed and ventured out too long only to end up embarrassed with wet pants and a puddle on the floor. A couple of times this happened in front of many people including several good friends. Although I was embarrassed I learned a valuble lesson that I have no control of my bladder function and if I didn't want to become a recluse I had better learn to manage being incontinent.

Just something to add...I live in Florida and its hot here. I also like to wear board shorts with a tshirt. With these, I wear an abena extra. I have asked my wife if she could tell what I was wearing and she said no. You cannot tell underneath boardshorts. Which is nice because these are cool in the summer.

Also at the gym, I wear baskeball style gym shorts. I also wear these with an extra underneath. With these shorts though, you can hear the diaper noise. Its not that noticable in the gym though because there is so much going on. So its really not the big of a deal. The shorts are comfortable to work out in.

In my experiences the general public is far too absorbed (ha ha) in their own little world to be aware of anything out of the ordinary with the way people around them are dressed. Even the thickest diapers aren't really all that noticeable.

To your average person the idea of someone between the ages of 5 and 85 wearing a diaper is so out in left field the thought never even occurs. The ONLY people that will notice what you are wearing are other diaper wearers.

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~~PuddleGuy