Hey everyone, I'm new here. I finally took the plunge to get some support after the last few years of incidents...
My incontinence, is urge. Mostly urinary, sometimes fecal. I've been wearing depends pads for the last few years because occasionally, I'll have a sudden urge to go and will leak on my way there or even after I've gone. On top of that, I have nocturia and sleep about 2 hours at a time before peeing, and lately my wife suggested I switch from pads, to pull-ups to an actual diaper. At 34. yeesh.
But this wasn't the worst, not even by a long shot.
I realized I had some issues with urge incontinence with my bowel once when I was riding a bus from one part of town to another and my stomach basically turned. I needed a toilet. now. I hopped off the bus in one of my city's seediest neighborhoods. Nothing was open. So what did I do, ran behind a vacant building, dropped trou, and let it go.
That one had a somewhat happy ending. The next story does not.
I was driving students across a few states for a conference, we were getting in late, and I pulled into the front, got them out, helped get their bags, checked them in, and got their rooms arranged. No sweat. Felt tired, no big deal- it had been a long day. Drove around to the side of the hotel, parked the van and felt my stomach lurch. I knew what that meant. I hustled myself in the hotel (it was after 12 so the bathrooms were locked, got on the elevator, waddled down the hall to my room, and sighed. I made it, I thought. -until I unbuckled my pants. Then the smell hit me. Somewhere, between the front desk and elevator, I had soiled myself. (My best friend with Chrohns asked me how bad..I said "enough") Defeated, I carefully lowered my underwear, sat on the toilet and kept going. I wanted to (and did a little) cry. 33 year old men don't do these things! But I eventually cleaned up, and went to bed.
After another incident- I went into hiding for months. Nothing but work and home. I wouldn't go anywhere safe. But then as my wife pointed out, I was letting the illness win. So I started sharing my issues with my close inner circle- who didn't laugh, but understood. Slowly things returned to a state of normality. I Adjusted my diet in general (and have lost some weight) so that I don't always have a dodgy stomach. I still wear pads. I wear pull-ups on plane and train rides (basically anything I can't control). And as weird as it sounds...I feel like I'm in control again.
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