Lifelong Issues

[Travis]

Hi all, I just registered. I'm Travis, I'm 19 and a sophomore in college. I've been incontinent my whole life, and my doctors haven't been quite able to tell why. At this point it's a nonissue for me, since I've worn diapers every single day of my life, though going through school was often tough. At this point all my friends know and accept me; I decided when I started college and didn't know anyone that I wouldn't hide it. I figured that I shouldn't be friends with anyone who cares, but knew that if I started out trying to hide it--at all--I would be terrified of anyone finding out and turning on me. So I just got it out of the way early and told people as I got to know them and such. Luckily, people are pretty accepting. Not really sure what else to say, but thought I would introduce myself and say hello.

[RobertH]

Welcome to the forums Travis

You won't find a better place for support and information then here.

[Noe]

Welcome, Travis. You raise something others have raised: the question of whom to tell. Personally, I am quite discrete. I think exactly two people know that I wear diapers. I suppose, if you're in college, that you might be sharing an apartment or even a room, in which case discretion would be at least challenging, and perhaps impossible. I admire your candor.

Noe

[JDinVirginia]

Welcome Travis!

My policy is to tell only those whom I need to tell to avoid embarrassment or an awkward situation. Once the word gets out, you cannot take it back. Friends usually will be supportive.

--John

[Travis]

As you all guessed, I had a roommate last year, so I couldn't have hidden it from him well. Then there's the gym locker room, where I'd be bound to be seen. Also, I'd need diapers in my bag all the time, and would be bringing my bag to the bathroom every time, so that would raise red flags among my friends. Finally, the fact that I'm both urinary and fecal incontinent would have made things that much harder to hide. So if I'd chosen to hide it, it would have been very, very stressful; I would have been obsessed all the time with wondering if anyone would find out.

That said, I didn't sit people down and tell them, "I'm incontinent and wear diapers." I did with my roommate--we met through a roommate finder service through the school, I asked for a bedwetter. They don't usually get requests like that, but they put out an email asking if anyone was and would want to room with another one to keep things discreet. Obviously the whole thing was anonymous, but it helped. So we met on Facebook and chatted and I told him then, and we wound up deciding to room together. This year we share an apartment. As for my other friends, I didn't go out of my way to tell them, but I didn't hide it either. Some saw my diapers in the locker room when we went to work out, others when I took my shirt of to play frisbee when it was hot, others I'd just say "I need to change." Some classmates have seen my diapers in my bag. I just act totally cool with it/normal, and nobody cares. Even though I'm mortified, still, every single time someone new finds out. But that's life.

My boyfriend knows as well; he knew when we started talking on grindr, and was accepting the whole way. So that's good too. Usually, though, I would go out of my way to tell people before the first date, so that if it was going to be a problem, I wouldn't get attached. Generally I've found that works best for me, I'd rather people just know and not worry that they'll turn on me.

[Patrick]

Travis,

Welcome. The skill with which you manage your incontinence is wonderful to see. Society is changing, in no small part because of you and others in your generation. We owe you. Kudos, thanks, and high regard. You are a valuable asset to the rest of us here, myself included.

[Travis]

Travis,

Welcome. The skill with which you manage your incontinence is wonderful to see. Society is changing, in no small part because of you and others in your generation. We owe you. Kudos, thanks, and high regard. You are a valuable asset to the rest of us here, myself included.

Thank you for your kind words. Really though I'm not that special, I get stressed about it too, and hate it sometimes. But it's how I've always been so I don't know much different, and just try to make the best of it.

[PB&J32]

Welcome aboard, Travis!!! College, as a rule is very accepting of people who are "different" I remember thinking years ago when I was in college how most people just accepted people at face value. That's a good thing, it is a great time to reinvent yourself and start with a blank slate. I think it becomes easier to live in your own skin as you get older as well.
Furthermore as you come to accept living with a given condition, like incontinence, we just end up doing what works for us and don't worry so much about what others think. I admire your boldness for taking your shirt off to play frisbee. I doubt anybody here is that bold. I don't go out showing my diapers and I'm now buying my clothes a size or two bigger, but I'm not deathly afraid of people finding out.

[Travis]

Welcome aboard, Travis!!! College, as a rule is very accepting of people who are "different" I remember thinking years ago when I was in college how most people just accepted people at face value. That's a good thing, it is a great time to reinvent yourself and start with a blank slate. I think it becomes easier to live in your own skin as you get older as well.
Furthermore as you come to accept living with a given condition, like incontinence, we just end up doing what works for us and don't worry so much about what others think. I admire your boldness for taking your shirt off to play frisbee. I doubt anybody here is that bold. I don't go out showing my diapers and I'm now buying my clothes a size or two bigger, but I'm not deathly afraid of people finding out.

I figure I can either be ruled by my diapers, or take charge myself. I love the beach, I love working out and being active, and I want to be comfortable doing those things. My friends all have boxers showing, mine are just plastic and taped on. Haha.

[batman381327]

Welcome to the group Travis. Since you have grown up with this, you have had to go thru a lot of growing pains already. You have found a great group here.